#247 (+|-)
(Rated: -323)
I was thinking about making something good for dinner, so I asked the computer...
It was a few moments later that I realised the computer doesn't know how to cook :)
#240 (+|-)
(Rated: -317)
Jamie: I hope they don't link up the 3.5" floppy lol. There will be no response
Jamie: Controller is knackered
#52 (+|-)
(Rated: -425)
A user on a network being really mature until I killed them *rolls eyes* They kept flooding so I kicked them, then this stupid exchange occurred:
Geo • jsdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
to operserv • kick
• OperServ [services@4-irc.com] has kicked Geo [Vista (stop flooding)]
• Geo [Geo@223D0935.8561C061.549CE784.IP] has joined #4-IRC
Geo • fuck
+Ace • i'd rather not thanks;)
+Ace • i don't have the right 'attachments':-P
Geo • »Vista« fuck your mother
Geo • »Ace« fuck your mother
Geo • »Vista« fuck Ace mother
Geo • »Ace« fuck Vista's mother
@Vista • wow...real mature
from AgeOfMythology.4-IRC.Com - *** Permanent K:Line added for *@91.204.190.36 on Sat Sep 5 19:04:48 2009 GMT (from Vista!~vista@NetAdmin.4-IRC.Com: nice try)
from AgeOfMythology.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client exiting: Geo (Geo@91.204.190.36) [User is permanently banned (nice try)]
#173 (+|-)
(Rated: -496)
<+Trixie> Say, you're full of organs aren't you? and you wouldn't "notice" if you were missing a few?
#262 (+|-)
(Rated: -229)
Craig: Penises and veg?
Craig: 🤣
Jamie: oil
Jamie: no that was autocorrect lol
#251 (+|-)
(Rated: -343)
10 PRINT "Question: Are you going to switch to Linux?"
20 PRINT"Reply: No, I've told you this already"
30 PRINT"lol :D"
20 GOTO 10
#252 (+|-)
(Rated: -273)
Jamie: lol it would be easier if they just had a button which says defer updates apart from 1 latest patch
Jamie: mind you... that's a lot of text for one button
#68 (+|-)
(Rated: -424)
<Ephialtes> ugh
<Ephialtes> I.
<Ephialtes> Am.
<Ephialtes> Wet.
<Ephialtes> infact I am BEYOND wet
<Ephialtes> I am soaked
<Ephialtes> no wait, I am beyond soaked
<Ephialtes> I am drenched
<Ephialtes> and I may be beyond that
*** Ephialtes has been kicked off channel #ev3 by zambezi (flood)
#69 (+|-)
(Rated: -373)
<port-> well peace out fuckers
<port-> im done with soa
<port-> email me if u want to talk, odoyle has the address.
* port- sets mode: -o port-
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has left #soangels
<ap0c> heh
<ap0c> he'll be back
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has joined #soangels
<port-> god damn autojoin
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has left #soangels
#132 (+|-)
(Rated: -352)
<myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
<myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
#92 (+|-)
(Rated: -436)
<Poyzin> So, something amusing happened to me.
<Kilts> ?
<Poyzin> I clocked out of work today, and the ticket tells me I've worked 13 hours and 37 minutes.
<Poyzin> Of course, presented as 13.37.
<Poyzin> Know what that makes me? :D
<Kilts> lol really leet?
<Poyzin> ...
<Poyzin> I worked 13 and a half fucking hours, and TIRED isn't your first guess? God dammit.
#82 (+|-)
(Rated: -399)
—I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— Netsplit Detected. «irc.right.asscheek irc.left.asscheek» [6:56am]
#174 (+|-)
(Rated: -465)
|+p|Debi| Mine is flapping pointlessly somewhere round my ankles.
|+p|Athena| Wb Hellspawn.
|+p|Debi| thooper
|+p|Debi| Say, do you want to see a movie?
* LegendaryIRC sets mode: +h HellSpawn
|+p|Debi| i'm keeping quiet except for the odd fondle and humping
#158 (+|-)
(Rated: -364)
<Cheetah> heh, someone else who was on my box didn't like my lack of bitchx ...
<sig11> heh?
<Cheetah> bitchx
<Cheetah> BitchX
<Cheetah> for fucks..
<Cheetah> (from .bash_history)
<Cheetah> who actually types things like for fucks.. into their shell?
#44 (+|-)
(Rated: -375)
Icez • does Bandit still come here
SharkTooth • ?
SharkTooth • yes
SharkTooth › looks at bandit
SharkTooth › waves and yells IM RIGHT HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SharkTooth • Duh
Icez • ohh
#182 (+|-)
(Rated: -362)
<grapenuts> green, blue, golden piss color... its all the same once it hits your blood, it's all sugar
<grapenuts> Andromeda: 'cept the flesh of a slaughtered cow
<@Andromeda> actually its mostly ginseng
<grapenuts> or pigs
<@Andromeda> which is worse
*I joined the server to see this bizzare conversation*
#43 (+|-)
(Rated: -454)
Original Install Date: 27/07/2009, 22:36:19
System Up Time: 32 Days, 16 Hours, 33 Minutes, 52 Seconds
Note: this was originally posted on the 29th of july 2009 for anyone that doesn't get what's odd about that uptime.
#267 (+|-)
(Rated: -161)
Jamie: but.. it was months after I looked that up by which time I already stopped and I'm not taking the tablets again in case it was the omezeopropofololol
#89 (+|-)
(Rated: -410)
*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah. Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'
#163 (+|-)
(Rated: -419)
<&George> im freezin
<+Broxi> YOU'RE freezin? feel these nipples!
<+Roxi> YOU'RE freezin? feel my fanny!
#99 (+|-)
(Rated: -381)
* %iso is eating a helicopter
<%iso> *hamburger
<+cezz> lol
<+cezz> yummy helicoper
<+cezz> what is the nicest bit? I bet it is the propellers
<%iso> The skids
<%iso> They're always nice and cripsy
<+cezz> Ahhh but they can get a bit dirty from time to rime
#143 (+|-)
(Rated: -434)
* Vista mental note: don't EVER look up 'blue waffle' again:-|
<AzTech-Bot> lulz
<AzTech-Bot> omg
<AzTech-Bot> lulz
<AzTech-Bot> my sides hurt so bad
<Vista> it wasn't so much that....it was the other images on the site I found the image on:-S
#42 (+|-)
(Rated: -428)
Jameleous says:
i was just typing "the service has been good on o2 since i turned off 3g, reset and turned it back on" - 5 bars generally
as i typed it said error - cannot send message as network is not found
NO SERVICE at the top
#210 (+|-)
(Rated: -397)
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?
#195 (+|-)
(Rated: -368)
<nemovc>i once found the text strings stored in the bios of my old 286. not far from the standard "Keyboard error, press F1 to continue." message was "CPU not found. System halted."
<nemovc>i always wondered how they intended to display that message
#213 (+|-)
(Rated: -409)
* .Vista yawns
<.Ace> Ace shoves a whole pizza in Vista 's mouth and laughs while watching them choke
* .Vista ynaws
<.Ace> Ace svheos a wohle pziza ni Vista 's mtouh nad lhguas wihle wtchniag tehm cohke:-P
#45 (+|-)
(Rated: -378)
01:17 from WinServ.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client connecting on port 6667: Vista2 (N95@169.254.237.81) [clients]
01:19 from WinServ.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client exiting: Vista2 (N95@169.254.237.81) [Quit: Nokia - Connecting People:-p]
*For anyone that doesn't get what's odd here, look at the ip*
#192 (+|-)
(Rated: -419)
<ambrness> DEVICE=eth0
<ambrness> BOOTPROTO=static
<ambrness> BOARDCAST=203.21.86.255
<ambrness> HAHAH... no wonder it had probs
<ambrness> curse having an admin who speaks english as a second language
#70 (+|-)
(Rated: -428)
<Mog> Anyone else having extreme AIM problems?
<Seifer> Nope.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Yeah. I can't seem to fuckin' pee in the bowl today. >:
<rabid_si[FFX]> It's all up the fuckin' walls.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Er...
<rabid_si[FFX]> Oh.
<Mog> ...
<Seifer> Lol.
<rabid_si[FFX]> You mean AOL Instant Messenger.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Right...
* rabid_si[FFX] whistles.
#107 (+|-)
(Rated: -364)
<Joah> texas
<+Alias> lol
<+Availea> Kentucky
<+Availea> Since we're randomly naming states :P
<+Alias> canada
<+V4mpire> canada is a country
<~clarjon1> confusion
<+Alias> I know
<~clarjon1> confusion, emergency, insanity, panic....
<~clarjon1> since we're naming states.
#41 (+|-)
(Rated: -381)
<Helix> fuck
<Helix> my back right tire is flat
<Helix> this is lame
<Owashawa> change it and put the spare on
<Owashawa> problem solved
<Helix> then i have to change it
<Helix> and its cold
<Helix> and wet and shit
<irn> You fucking girl
<irn> get out there
<irn> What if your wife's water broke and you had to take her to hospital, eh?
<Helix> it'd make it
<Helix> besides, that's what ambulances are for
<irn> what if your vehicle IS the ambulance?
<Helix> ill know a thing or two about assiting birth
<Helix> besides, im gay and exempt from your question
<irn> What if your boyfriend got stuck in an inflatable suit during a balloon fetish romp?
<Helix> id masterbate until i passed out
#181 (+|-)
(Rated: -404)
tachyonizer (~tachyoniz@41.97.94.252) has joined. «78 people»
<tachyonizer> !keep tachyonizer
<@Beschbot> tachyonizer: tachyonizer's shell has already been deleted...
<tachyonizer> fuck you
<tachyonizer> goddamnit
<tachyonizer> goddamnit
<tachyonizer> i am budy man can't you wait a fucking day ?????
* tachyonizer was kicked by Beschbot (Bad word detected. (*fuck*) :: [Tue Mar 11 18:19:58 2014] - Banned 0 minutes ·58·)
#256 (+|-)
(Rated: -269)
I was wondering if PCs have feelings...
Looking for the clues in the big finger sticking up at me emoticon...
#51 (+|-)
(Rated: -333)
<jws> You just *know* you have a virus when you see this:
<jws> (D:) Local Disk
<jws> Total size: 66631337 GB
#141 (+|-)
(Rated: -461)
<D|S-Alias> my balls are in such gay positions
<D|S-Alias> they are all on one side in a cluster
<D|S-random> i fuckin hate that
<D|S-random> when they stick to ur leg
<D|S-random> ER
<D|S-random> i just wanna rip them off
<D|S-Alias> im talking about pool yo
#164 (+|-)
(Rated: -439)
<.Vista> I don't bugger servers anymore....they just bugger themselves now:-|
<.Vista> !8ball isn't that right Ace?
<.Ace> 8Ball Response: Of course!
#65 (+|-)
(Rated: -349)
Topic from a Vista help forum:
gohan2091: When I put my PC to sleep, the slightest movement of the mouse (such as when I slide the keyboard stand under the desk) brings my PC out of sleep. I know a bit about software so off I went into the obvious.... the mouse settings (control panel). I unticked the option "Allow this device to wake the computer" and hit OK but it doesn't appear to be working. I can still bring my PC out of sleep by moving the mouse.
mark: Strange but true:
Accepted Microsoft answer to this problem: turn the mouse upside down
#285 (+|-)
(Rated: -44)
Jamie: worst thing was when I once had to cook fish for another person
Jamie: I don't eat it
Jamie: I looked in the oven
Jamie: and it's lungs were breathing 😱
#179 (+|-)
(Rated: -448)
<Missfire> It isn't fat, it has a lot of fur that makes it look fat. Some cats are just... well... not that skilled. My cat is slim but when he tries to jump onto something is a bit like watching a cow doing ballet.
#136 (+|-)
(Rated: -419)
<Griffin> how are you Anrdi?
<andri> where are you came from?
<Griffin> usa
<Griffin> you?
<andri> are you sure?
<andri> i'm indonesian
<~Vista> nope....still haven't bothered fixing that menu
<andri> are ypu chick?
<andri> you
<Griffin> no im man
<andri> i'm looking for a chick man hahaha
andri (novaldyand@623B88FE.E8F009AA.2B18E8FB.IP) has parted. «12 people»
<~Vista> wtf???:-S
#254 (+|-)
(Rated: -227)
Craig: probably won't look quite as good as the one I had, but it's the taste that matters....not the looks
#148 (+|-)
(Rated: -375)
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate flash?
<+Broxi> more lubricant
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate java?
<+Broxi> give it a push
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate irc?
<+Broxi> drink volvic first, then try
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate mirc?
<+Broxi> Industrial light and magic.
<+forever_delayed> Broxi how do you rate wackychat?
<+Broxi> using the power of greyskull
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate telnet?
<+Broxi> Try twisting.
#88 (+|-)
(Rated: -392)
[Luke]: I must say my mum is bad when it comes to security. Norton says her download is a virus, so she disables norton and runs the exe. FFS!!!