Quote Database

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#262 (+|-) (Rated: -172)
Craig: Penises and veg?
Craig: 🤣
Jamie: oil
Jamie: no that was autocorrect lol

#263 (+|-) (Rated: -176)
Jamie: Will you marry this Lenovo Laptop 😀
Craig: yep...lol
Jamie: I wonder how it would give the ring - perhaps 3D print it? lol
Jamie: With a printer linked by usb
"Will you take all they have - all 16Gb" 😮
Jamie: lol
Craig: dvd drive opens, and it's sitting on the tray😂
Jamie: "To hold and to cherish - to defragment every so often" lol
Jamie: lol
Craig: or.....the tray comes out, and becomes the ring
Jamie: That would be so "sweet" lol
Jamie: Or...
Jamie: the ring would be the weights in the mouse
Jamie: You just have to unlock the bottom
Craig: Mark Zuckerberg is currently thinking 'what the fuck are those 2 going on about?'

#264 (+|-) (Rated: -165)
Craig: there's someone on youtube who buys konkcoffs and reviews them
Craig: wtf????
Craig: *knockoffs

#265 (+|-) (Rated: -110)
Craig: I tried relinking his ring
*I was talking about a ring doorbell account, but instead sounded a bit dirty*

#266 (+|-) (Rated: -154)
Jamie: T last lol
Jamie: a
Jamie: lol
Jamie: I'm saluvotatong

#267 (+|-) (Rated: -108)
Jamie: but.. it was months after I looked that up by which time I already stopped and I'm not taking the tablets again in case it was the omezeopropofololol

#268 (+|-) (Rated: -107)
Craig: I took some zapain earlier
Craig: hasn't really made a difference though
Jamie: ah co cosmological
Jamie: wtf
Jamie: stipulated autocorrect

#269 (+|-) (Rated: -114)
Jamie: pooping in Tesco now lol
Jamie: popping😨

#270 (+|-) (Rated: -116)
Jamie: Cashpoint is being fixed by an engineer oiling the rollers
Jamie: I wish he would put the machine back together he's been rubbing a rod for ages

#271 (+|-) (Rated: -83)
Jamie: whilst my other hand is on other things it's hard

#272 (+|-) (Rated: -101)
Jamie: it teaxks you apparently
Jamie: telracks
Jamie: tracks!

#273 (+|-) (Rated: -74)
Jamie: i wonder how many houses standby time I can get out of Oppo
Jamie: houses? 😨

#274 (+|-) (Rated: -63)
Jamie: fuck I just accidentally took dulcolax instead of paracetamol
Jamie: the packets look the same
Jamie: fuck lol
Craig: whatever you do....don't fart😂

#275 (+|-) (Rated: -57)
Jamie: yes .. it's big lol
Jamie: I would have to measure it

#276 (+|-) (Rated: -42)
Jamie: fucking pudgeova
*he meant pigeon apparantly*

#277 (+|-) (Rated: -14)
Jamie: lol every time I look at knickers

#278 (+|-) (Rated: -32)
Jamie: now I smell like manhole

#279 (+|-) (Rated: -22)
If you ever code something that "feels like a hack but it works," just remember that a CPU is literally a rock that we tricked into thinking.

Not to oversimplify: first you have to flatten the rock and put lightning inside it

#280 (+|-) (Rated: -4)
Jamie: I've had to delete the profile folder again 😮
Jamie: I've completely lost my technical skill 😮
Jamie: first - I fuck up the installation then forget how I did it all
Jamie: now I've restored everything and am going round in circles
Jamie: memory like a goldfish

#281 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
Jamie: I think tugging on it over time must loosen the cable

#282 (+|-) (Rated: 0)
Jamie: *chokes on my onion*

#283 (+|-) (Rated: -1)
Jamie: it was spurting from the hose

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