ChatNSN Quotes

#120 (+|-) (Rated: -461)
<+Neil> Hey rewq, I'm here if I can still assist you.
<+Neil> Let me take a minute to read the conversation (I just got back)
<+Neil> Alright, so, you said you've paid $2.95 for three months. What service did you sign up for?
<+Neil> Taking a look here, it seems you've signed up for our Prime package.
<+Neil> ..
<+Neil> And, I've been talking to myself, because ZNC decided not to tell me he quit.

#138 (Rated: -439)
<@Awesome> i just opened the back door to let people out and a frikkin midget flew right into my gob as i breathed in
<@Awesome> gaaaaak
<+_I_LOVE_YOU_> midget butties
<+Helzz> Midget?
<+imy1411>    midget?
<+Should_trumps_have_lumps> your sucking off midgets?
<+Helzz> As in dwarf
moonshadow «~moonshado@WackyChat-526E4CE8.range86-179.btcentralplus.com» has Quit iRC (Laterz Wacky People :) Dont Forget To Checkout www.FuzzyHosts.com) «62 people»
WackyUser5291 (~lightIRC@A3912E5A.8F744AE9.2D39D232.IP) has joined. «63 people»
The-Shrink sets mode: +v WackyUser5291
<+_I_LOVE_YOU_> i didnt know dwarfs cud fly
<+imy1411>    bwhahahahha
<@Awesome> midgey*
<+WackyUser5291> ello
<~SpiderSheepy> !voice Loony
The-Shrink sets mode: +v Loony
<@Awesome> a bloody fly thing
<@Awesome> you know ?
<+imy1411>    awesome
<+Should_trumps_have_lumps> a tiny pilot?
<+CloPhone> Lol
<+imy1411>    are you women
<~SpiderSheepy> lmao

#165 (+|-) (Rated: -438)
<+Steve0> Googlebot lol silly bot
<.Vista> I remember when I used php-nuke
<.Vista> it got stuck following links on the calender
<+Steve0> LOL!
<.Vista> I think it got to 2056 before I booted it's ip

#250 (+|-) (Rated: -265)
Jamie: I may be on and offline more whilst I struggle cough I mean experiment with Linux and grapple the bootstrap

#289 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
Jessica: phone my doesn't have 5G
Jessica: my phone*
Craig: like yoda that was hmmm

#54 (+|-) (Rated: -412)
insaneFlash: man
insaneFlash: finals are taring me an ass
dogz: ah
dogz: man
dogz: are they gziping it as well?

#116 (+|-) (Rated: -379)
<@Angie`> omgg painnnn
<~Availea> Glad we could come to a compromise :D
* ~Availea snuggles Angie` and rubs her back
<@Angie`> i think it may be gas cause everytime it cramps i fart lol

#88 (+|-) (Rated: -392)
[Luke]: I must say my mum is bad when it comes to security. Norton says her download is a virus, so she disables norton and runs the exe. FFS!!!

#108 (+|-) (Rated: -348)
Alice «availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) «48 people»
Angie` «~Angie_@AbyssNet-7DCD1663.atw.dyn.suddenlink.net» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) «47 people»
Availea «~BinariiAn@Staff.Starfleetirc.net» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) «46 people»
Declawed «~Sharpie@Staff.Starfleetirc.net» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) «45 people»
—I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— Netsplit Detected. «Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net»
Alias «~Alias@AbyssNet-D7E100B0.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com» has Quit iRC (Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net) «44 people»
Edward «availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net» has Quit iRC (Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net) «43 people»
Bella «availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net» has Quit iRC (Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net) «42 people»
<+Gothic_Goddess> oh oh
<+f0rte> o.o
<+Gothic_Goddess> bye bye yall
Availeab (~BinariiAn@D453254D.E802AAAD.D92F8E0C.IP) has joined. «44 people»
Availeab (~BinariiAn@D453254D.E802AAAD.D92F8E0C.IP) is now known as Availea
PinkSmurf sets mode: +qo Availea Availea
Alice (availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net) has joined. «45 people»
VJTD3 (VJTD3@ppp203.net267.fl.sprint-hsd.net) has joined. «46 people»
Angie` (~Angie_@AbyssNet-7DCD1663.atw.dyn.suddenlink.net) has joined. «47 people»
Alias (~Alias@AbyssNet-D7E100B0.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined. «48 people»
Edward (availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net) has joined, but is a Clone of Alice «49 people»
Bella (availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net) has joined, but is a Clone of Alice & Edward «50 people»
Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net sets mode: +vvv Alias Edward Bella
Declawed (~Sharpie@AbyssNet-2801DE50.surgehost.net) has joined. «51 people»
Red-Dragon sets mode: +vvvvv Alice Angie` BlueEyes Declawed VJTD3
<+Gothic_Goddess> wb yall

#110 (+|-) (Rated: -415)
admin (76419697@xC-C7145B36.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined. «32 people»
Alice sets mode: +v admin
<+admin> hello
<+admin> can anyone put my site up? i registered over 4 hours ago and the site isnt set p yet..
<+admin> it still says processing wait
<+admin> :(
<+admin> btw im not admin
<+admin> anyone here?
<+admin> thesres 32 members online damn it..

*Note: 32 MEMBERS online...not 32 staff online*

#181 (+|-) (Rated: -401)
tachyonizer (~tachyoniz@41.97.94.252) has joined. «78 people»
<tachyonizer> !keep tachyonizer
<@Beschbot> tachyonizer: tachyonizer's shell has already been deleted...
<tachyonizer> fuck you
<tachyonizer> goddamnit
<tachyonizer> goddamnit
<tachyonizer> i am budy man can't you wait a fucking day ?????
* tachyonizer was kicked by Beschbot (Bad word detected. (*fuck*) :: [Tue Mar 11 18:19:58 2014] - Banned 0 minutes ·58·)

#188 (+|-) (Rated: -406)
<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I said "dpkg dash
dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke bottle into
the recycling bin.

#101 (+|-) (Rated: -386)
<@Vista> oops:-S
* @Vista makes a mental note: make sure you configure things properly....you don't get over 2000 emails about a cron job error in a mailbox that's never checked then:-|

#147 (Rated: -454)
<~zomg> Fgt
<Profash> HELLO
<Profash> Dear Customer, We're facing a major abuse issue with our Canadian segment, we're trying to resolve this case directly with our uplinks, if nothing is resolved within 48hrs we will grab the data from the servers and restore you on a new Canadian segment, we do apologize for the issues caused, we'll keep you notified asap. Thank you.
<~zomg> RIP
<Eck> hope your data is lost
<Eck> bitch

#122 (+|-) (Rated: -431)
<+Vivcool> How do I use thunderbird as my email?
<+Vivcool> I don't like the x10's web mail
<+Skizzerz> see the link under "Access Webmail" next to the email account that says "Configure Email Client"?
<+Skizzerz> yeah, click that
<+Skizzerz> tells you everything you need to know
<+Vivcool> What do you use?

#263 (+|-) (Rated: -225)
Jamie: Will you marry this Lenovo Laptop 😀
Craig: yep...lol
Jamie: I wonder how it would give the ring - perhaps 3D print it? lol
Jamie: With a printer linked by usb
Jamie:lol
"Will you take all they have - all 16Gb" 😮
Jamie: lol
Craig: dvd drive opens, and it's sitting on the tray😂
Jamie: "To hold and to cherish - to defragment every so often" lol
Jamie: lol
Craig: or.....the tray comes out, and becomes the ring
Jamie: That would be so "sweet" lol
Jamie: Or...
Jamie: the ring would be the weights in the mouse
Jamie: You just have to unlock the bottom
lol
Craig: Mark Zuckerberg is currently thinking 'what the fuck are those 2 going on about?'

#282 (+|-) (Rated: -51)
Jamie: *chokes on my onion*

#99 (+|-) (Rated: -385)
* %iso is eating a helicopter
<%iso> *hamburger
<+cezz> lol
<+cezz> yummy helicoper
<+cezz> what is the nicest bit? I bet it is the propellers
<%iso> The skids
<%iso> They're always nice and cripsy
<+cezz> Ahhh but they can get a bit dirty from time to rime

#40 (+|-) (Rated: -375)
<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

#130 (Rated: -444)
<~SpiderSheepy> you should have heard me lastnight :|
<~FuzzyFox> she was rather drunk for one
<~SpiderSheepy> i also danced on a pole
<~SpiderSheepy> lol
<+WhiteWolf> SpiderSheepy btw you ever figure out where those handcuffs came from ?
<~SpiderSheepy> with 2 strippers
<~FuzzyFox> Its cute how the more drunk she gets, the more welsh she sounds :P
<~FuzzyFox> LOL
<~SpiderSheepy> no jason :S
<+WhiteWolf> you so go finger it out
<~FuzzyFox> Finger? :O
<~SpiderSheepy> o.O
<+Lodestone> i wonder if SpiderSheepy will do a pole dance for me when i see her this weekend :p
<~FuzzyFox> whos she fingering now

#255 (+|-) (Rated: -342)
Craig: although i'm not bothered if it turns out to be that
Craig: as it doesn't affect me eating or anything
Craig: it's just a lack of feeling in a certain small area
Jamie: ask them whilst there... do they do enlargements for me :)
Jamie: lol
Jamie: brb
Craig: and yes....I AM aware of how dodgy 'a certain small area' sounds;)

#288 (+|-) (Rated: -4)
Jessica: Yeah that’s lead acid
Jessica: At least that kind doesn’t forget it’s a battery over time

#251 (+|-) (Rated: -339)
10 PRINT "Question: Are you going to switch to Linux?"
20 PRINT"Reply: No, I've told you this already"
30 PRINT"lol :D"
20 GOTO 10

#139 (+|-) (Rated: -434)
<+CloPhone> Im freezing
<+Broxi> YOU'RE freezing? feel these nipples! < Broxi is a bot that occasionally responds to chat in humorous ways

#58 (+|-) (Rated: -365)
J - The Ultimate In Experience says:
I'm sure I heard a seagull dying in the mouth of a cat one morning
Craig - In Trance We Trust says:
lol
J - The Ultimate In Experience says:
It's squawking got more out of breath
Till it was silent
Craig - In Trance We Trust says:
I was probably having an orgasm
*it

#95 (+|-) (Rated: -369)
<Nori123> You don't know jack shit
<VioletSky> That's not true, I know him well
<Nori123> Haha
<VioletSky> I'm serious
<VioletSky> Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children
<VioletSky> Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
<VioletSky> However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
<VioletSky> She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.
<VioletSky> Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
<VioletSky> The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
<VioletSky> Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
<VioletSky> So there.
<FiPo> LOL
<Nori123> I have actually chortled coke through my nose

#196 (+|-) (Rated: -412)
Mario «~Mario@A1A3A8A4.66ADA0E3.10D4D702.IP» has Quit iRC (Broken pipe) «74 people»
<@Squirrel> well if anyone was going to fall down a broken pipe its best it was mario

#114 (+|-) (Rated: -399)
Angie` «Angie@IRC-Operator» has Quit iRC (Connection reset by peer) «31 people»
Angie` (Angie@AbyssNet-B20CB6DA.imctv.dynamic.mis.net) has joined. «32 people»
TheGame sets mode: +o Angie`
<@Angie`> IM GOING TO SLING THIS PEICE OF SHIT
<@Angie`> AGAINST A FUCKING WALL
<@Angie`> god fucking damn
ShitzNGiggles (biggy@AbyssNet-4C0706C2.lnk.telstra.net) has joined. «33 people»
<~geekgirl> rofl
<~geekgirl> whats wrong
<+DragonBlood> lmao
<@Angie`> stupid fucking peice of shit laptop makes me so fucking mad
<@Angie`> it puts itself to fucking sleep
<@Angie`> cause something is broken or not clipped right because i threw it
<@Angie`> a few times
<@Angie`> at a wall

#212 (+|-) (Rated: -350)
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Are you kidding!?
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: No
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> stupid bot
<.Ace> stupid human:-|

#85 (+|-) (Rated: -377)
<Fury> dude! The power just went out in the house and all over the city.
<Fury> everything is off =X
<Fury> fuck its so dark. this fucking sucks.
<Angelic[X]> Why are you still here?
—› quit: (Fury) (siren@2c4e124f.19108886.cable.ntl.com) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

#284 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<r3pwn> Pretty sure something just exploded next door
<r3pwn> but I still have power so I'm okay
<IllegalArgument> Exploding things next door tend to not be good...
<r3pwn> There's no screaming (the neighbors whose house the sound came from have like 6 kids), so I guess it's okay
<IllegalArgument> Either it was insignificant enough not to warrant screaming, or they all perished in the blast

#192 (+|-) (Rated: -418)
<ambrness> DEVICE=eth0
<ambrness> BOOTPROTO=static
<ambrness> BOARDCAST=203.21.86.255
<ambrness> HAHAH... no wonder it had probs
<ambrness> curse having an admin who speaks english as a second language

#37 (+|-) (Rated: -374)
<+Dr_Link> SSL certificate: $30.
<+CoJaBo-Aztec> Dell mainframe server: $1.
<+CoJaBo-Aztec> Discount cupon: -$80,000.
<+Dr_Link> Getting hacked by a POST injection: Priceless.

#240 (+|-) (Rated: -318)
Jamie: I hope they don't link up the 3.5" floppy lol. There will be no response
Jamie: Controller is knackered

#239 (+|-) (Rated: -349)
Jamie: I'd love to link up my 3.5" floppy with a computer, but the conductivity of my skin is not enough.

#135 (+|-) (Rated: -420)
<Megistos> I once gave someone what amounted to a virus over IRC
<Megistos> it was a mIRC script that allowed us to remotely execute mIRC commands
<Megistos> what a fool
<Megistos> At first we just made him say stuff in channels
<Megistos> then we realised mIRC could talk to the whole system with /run
<Megistos> hence this immortal line
<Shiyiya> Heh
<Megistos> <lbal> wtf, i come back from css to find 63 calculators open
<Shiyiya> lmao

#133 (+|-) (Rated: -422)
<.Vista> agh.....fucking craneflies:@
<.Vista> pissing me off now
<DigitalEquinox> I must be getting tired, I thought that said cornflakes, I had to read it twice. :/

#243 (+|-) (Rated: -302)
Jamie: Can I borrow your VR headset? Cos I would like to see what it's like to mount you virtually :P

#86 (+|-) (Rated: -431)
<MightyBlueJustice> I need to jack a hole in this floor so I can get the internet hooked up to the comp in the basement.
<MightyBlueJustice> I need more power tools
<MKDemon> You don't have a drill?
<MightyBlueJustice> We do somewhere.
<MightyBlueJustice> All I can find is a power sander and I just don't have that kind of time.

#186 (+|-) (Rated: -440)
<Angelic> the best ones are the people who call up claiming to be network admins
<Angelic> and you can tell its a total lie
<Angelic> I had a "network admin" call once stating that he had the house wired with cat5 when it was built
<Angelic> so he should be able to connect all 6 computers to the internet without a router ot hub
<Angelic> wanted to know why the tech insisted it couldnt be done
<Angelic> I asked him what was going to assign the dynamic addresses and he said the house

#285 (+|-) (Rated: -43)
Jamie: worst thing was when I once had to cook fish for another person
Jamie: I don't eat it
Jamie: I looked in the oven
Jamie: and it's lungs were breathing 😱

#35 (+|-) (Rated: -407)
»julez« : she coulda read em thru the fabric
   Freebird : were you leakin?
ÐïvëÐèèpër : :-O
  »julez« : :-|
ÐïvëÐèèpër : brb
Vista® looks up leaking pussy on google images and finds a picture of a wet cat
  »julez« : :-O
ÐïvëÐèèpër : back
   »julez« : wb
ÐïvëÐèèpër : howdy vista   wondered if you were actually here
ÐïvëÐèèpër : ty Darin
Vista® : ah....found one.....had to turn safesearch off
ÐïvëÐèèpër : lmao

#142 (+|-) (Rated: -436)
<+Broxi> I was curious to see when you'd shut up on your own... but it's been three hours now, Vista... THREE HOURS*~%^##*%*@*£

#258 (+|-) (Rated: -257)
<@insomnia> it only takes three commands to install Gentoo
<@insomnia> cfdisk dev/hda && mkfs.xfs /devhda1/ && mount /dev/hda1 /mnt/gentoo && chroot /mnt/gentoo && env-update && . /etc/profile && emerge sync && cd /usr/portage && /scripts/bootstrap.sh && emerge system && emerge vim && vi /etc/fstab && emerge gentoo-dev-sources && cd /usr/src/linux && make menuconfig && make install modules_install && emerge gnome mozilla-firefox openoffice && emerge grub && cp /boot/grub/grub.conf.sample /boot/grub/grub.conf && vi /boot/grub/grub.conf && grub && init 6
<@insomnia> that's the first one

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