#76 (+|-)
(Rated: -334)
<datacide> i just wanted to type shutdown -r now
<datacide> and what i typed was stfu -r now
<datacide> and for a moment...it looked as though the damn machine was gonna do soemthing
<datacide> like a....stfu hidden binary
#284 (+|-)
(Rated: -59)
<r3pwn> Pretty sure something just exploded next door
<r3pwn> but I still have power so I'm okay
<IllegalArgument> Exploding things next door tend to not be good...
<r3pwn> There's no screaming (the neighbors whose house the sound came from have like 6 kids), so I guess it's okay
<IllegalArgument> Either it was insignificant enough not to warrant screaming, or they all perished in the blast
#164 (+|-)
(Rated: -440)
<.Vista> I don't bugger servers anymore....they just bugger themselves now:-|
<.Vista> !8ball isn't that right Ace?
<.Ace> 8Ball Response: Of course!
#170 (+|-)
(Rated: -447)
<~Yuna> C[a]stle look im on top of you ^.^
<Panda> that doesn't sound weird at all
<+Inase_Moriyaku> that's what she sai--- oh wait.
#254 (+|-)
(Rated: -226)
Craig: probably won't look quite as good as the one I had, but it's the taste that matters....not the looks
#131 (+|-)
(Rated: -416)
<SMW> howdy Ian
<SMW> how you doin tonight?
<Ian_Sharpe> same as always
<Ian_Sharpe> still smoking
<Ian_Sharpe> drinking too
<Protector> Seems you have something against internal organs that begin with the letter "L"
#261 (Rated: -274)
Jamie Robinson: toad in the road
Jamie Robinson: autocorrect 😂
Craig Turner: Nope...a roast....but not road in the hole
Jamie Robinson: lol
Craig Turner: Fuck
Jamie Robinson: lol
Jamie Robinson: wtf lol
Craig Turner: *toad....lol🤣
Jamie Robinson: fuck the toad?
Jamie Robinson: lol
Jamie Robinson: or the road 😱
Jamie Robinson: it'll explode lol
Jamie Robinson: that rhymes with toad 😉
Craig Turner: 🤣
Jamie Robinson: I do believe that's the most abstract chat.. I've ever done lol
Craig Turner: Lmao🤣
#249 (Rated: -248)
<.'Trivia_Bot> 2. Useless Trivia: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a ---------- for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
<.'Trivia_Bot> Here's a hint, fa__
<.Vista> fart
<.'Trivia_Bot> Winner: Vista Answer: fart Time: 29.313 Streak: 1 Points: 1 WPM: 1 Rank: 1st
#49 (+|-)
(Rated: -375)
<space> got any good tunes to spare?
<ToRMeNTeD> tons
<ToRMeNTeD> what kind
<space> whatever
<space> im easy
<ToRMeNTeD> thas what Im listening to now
<space> lol shit i got no speakers yet brb
<ToRMeNTeD> askin fer music wif no speakas
<ToRMeNTeD> sprocket what are we gonna do wif you
<PsyHawk> like a blind man asking for magnifying glass
<ToRMeNTeD> classic
<space> heheh lame award
<space> im like that fucker sent me blank tracks
#219 (+|-)
(Rated: -401)
Craig Turner: /me loads up the quote database, and gently strokes his screen while thinking how wierd it looks
#274 (+|-)
(Rated: -156)
Jamie: fuck I just accidentally took dulcolax instead of paracetamol
Jamie: the packets look the same
Jamie: fuck lol
Craig: whatever you do....don't fart😂
#120 (+|-)
(Rated: -460)
<+Neil> Hey rewq, I'm here if I can still assist you.
<+Neil> Let me take a minute to read the conversation (I just got back)
<+Neil> Alright, so, you said you've paid $2.95 for three months. What service did you sign up for?
<+Neil> Taking a look here, it seems you've signed up for our Prime package.
<+Neil> ..
<+Neil> And, I've been talking to myself, because ZNC decided not to tell me he quit.
#256 (+|-)
(Rated: -268)
I was wondering if PCs have feelings...
Looking for the clues in the big finger sticking up at me emoticon...
#121 (+|-)
(Rated: -390)
<.Cemtex> .joke
<.Eco> Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? A. Because women wouldn't have them if they were called cunt scrapes.
#128 (+|-)
(Rated: -393)
* TT205 wants to build a SNOT-HIPPO!!!!
<TT205> *blink*
* TT205 wants to build a SNOW-HIPPO!!!!
#139 (+|-)
(Rated: -435)
<+CloPhone> Im freezing
<+Broxi> YOU'RE freezing? feel these nipples! < Broxi is a bot that occasionally responds to chat in humorous ways
#267 (+|-)
(Rated: -167)
Jamie: but.. it was months after I looked that up by which time I already stopped and I'm not taking the tablets again in case it was the omezeopropofololol
#151 (+|-)
(Rated: -426)
<Swift> I need lemonade.
<dmc2> I hate it when my sound goes blurry.
<supakoopa> i hate when my video gets loud.
#184 (+|-)
(Rated: -404)
<.'Sysop_Kalamazoo> 205 camera outage across 7 buildings. Reason: commercial power outage. Details: Squirrell. Enough said.
<.'Sysop_Kalamazoo> Squirrel*
#130 (+|-)
(Rated: -443)
<~SpiderSheepy> you should have heard me lastnight :|
<~FuzzyFox> she was rather drunk for one
<~SpiderSheepy> i also danced on a pole
<~SpiderSheepy> lol
<+WhiteWolf> SpiderSheepy btw you ever figure out where those handcuffs came from ?
<~SpiderSheepy> with 2 strippers
<~FuzzyFox> Its cute how the more drunk she gets, the more welsh she sounds :P
<~FuzzyFox> LOL
<~SpiderSheepy> no jason :S
<+WhiteWolf> you so go finger it out
<~FuzzyFox> Finger? :O
<~SpiderSheepy> o.O
<+Lodestone> i wonder if SpiderSheepy will do a pole dance for me when i see her this weekend :p
<~FuzzyFox> whos she fingering now
#178 (+|-)
(Rated: -483)
<Grid> Hey Psyko, if the world was gonna end in 3 minutes, what would you do?
<Psyko> I'D SCREW ANYTHING THAT MOVES!!! What would you do?
<Grid> ... ... ... I'd stand very very still. o.o;
#159 (+|-)
(Rated: -408)
<Pr1ncess> oh sick i just sneezed and blood shot out of my crotch
<etrigan> that time again??
<Pr1ncess> hahaha
<Pr1ncess> yes
<Pr1ncess> that was a pretty fucking sick thing to say wasnt it?
<etrigan> hell yes
#289 (+|-)
(Rated: 3)
Jessica: phone my doesn't have 5G
Jessica: my phone*
Craig: like yoda that was hmmm
#51 (+|-)
(Rated: -332)
<jws> You just *know* you have a virus when you see this:
<jws> (D:) Local Disk
<jws> Total size: 66631337 GB
#157 (+|-)
(Rated: -439)
<+twilight> hey broxi
<+Broxi> :)
<+twilight> theres a moose loose in this hoose?
<@GreatWhite> broxi is a bot
<+Broxi> LIES.
#81 (+|-)
(Rated: -380)
*** [ircnic] (ircnic@couldnt.find.condoms.so.I.used.my.leftsock.com) has left #trance
#236 (+|-)
(Rated: -378)
Craig: hmmm....thought I was going mad then....forgot how to change who I show up as when liking page poasts..lol
Craig: and wtf is a poast????
Craig: lol
#215 (+|-)
(Rated: -376)
Darkpsy__ (~ident@71.60.142.24) has joined, but is a Clone of Guest9205 «6 people»
Guest9205 «~ident@71.60.142.24» has Quit iRC (Connection reset by peer) «5 people»
<Vista> lol....it's getting longer O_O
#122 (+|-)
(Rated: -430)
<+Vivcool> How do I use thunderbird as my email?
<+Vivcool> I don't like the x10's web mail
<+Skizzerz> see the link under "Access Webmail" next to the email account that says "Configure Email Client"?
<+Skizzerz> yeah, click that
<+Skizzerz> tells you everything you need to know
<+Vivcool> What do you use?
#226 (+|-)
(Rated: -419)
<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.
#36 (+|-)
(Rated: -382)
insomniac: why is it that if you grind corn up into mush, eat it, it shows up as a full kernel in the toilet a few days later?
Steelix: He's right.
insomniac: what happens in my stomach...
mindule: insom: that's very interesting
PixelGuru: damn
PixelGuru: i pity you when you eat applesauce
insomniac: haha
#35 (+|-)
(Rated: -406)
»julez« : she coulda read em thru the fabric
Freebird : were you leakin?
ÐïvëÐèèpër : :-O
»julez« : :-|
ÐïvëÐèèpër : brb
Vista® looks up leaking pussy on google images and finds a picture of a wet cat
»julez« : :-O
ÐïvëÐèèpër : back
»julez« : wb
ÐïvëÐèèpër : howdy vista wondered if you were actually here
ÐïvëÐèèpër : ty Darin
Vista® : ah....found one.....had to turn safesearch off
ÐïvëÐèèpër : lmao
#114 (+|-)
(Rated: -398)
Angie` «Angie@IRC-Operator» has Quit iRC (Connection reset by peer) «31 people»
Angie` (Angie@AbyssNet-B20CB6DA.imctv.dynamic.mis.net) has joined. «32 people»
TheGame sets mode: +o Angie`
<@Angie`> IM GOING TO SLING THIS PEICE OF SHIT
<@Angie`> AGAINST A FUCKING WALL
<@Angie`> god fucking damn
ShitzNGiggles (biggy@AbyssNet-4C0706C2.lnk.telstra.net) has joined. «33 people»
<~geekgirl> rofl
<~geekgirl> whats wrong
<+DragonBlood> lmao
<@Angie`> stupid fucking peice of shit laptop makes me so fucking mad
<@Angie`> it puts itself to fucking sleep
<@Angie`> cause something is broken or not clipped right because i threw it
<@Angie`> a few times
<@Angie`> at a wall
#242 (+|-)
(Rated: -264)
So, not only will Google know when I have been searching for porn on the internet, it will now also know how fast my hand has been moving immediately afterwards! 🤒🤒
Not that I ever look for porn on the internet of course....just asking for a friend!
#260 (+|-)
(Rated: -266)
Jamie Robinson: It would be good if each parcle.. had a camera lol
Craig Turner: parcle????!!!!!
Craig Turner: lmao
Jamie Robinson: lol damn
Jamie Robinson: I actually wanted to say parcle
Jamie Robinson: but I typed parcel lol
Jamie Robinson: or...
Jamie Robinson: they keyboard is failing lol
Craig Turner: psml!!!!!
Jamie Robinson: I've never mispelled it before :)
Jamie Robinson: So it must be the latter
Craig Turner: oh fuck.....got the s and the m the wrong way round
Jamie Robinson: S and M?
Jamie Robinson: Sounds a bit kinky :D
Craig Turner: erm.....not that i'm in to s and m *looks around shiftily*
#103 (+|-)
(Rated: -457)
[6:08pm] Link «Link@linkstechblog.com» has Quit iRC (For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.)
#148 (+|-)
(Rated: -375)
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate flash?
<+Broxi> more lubricant
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate java?
<+Broxi> give it a push
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate irc?
<+Broxi> drink volvic first, then try
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate mirc?
<+Broxi> Industrial light and magic.
<+forever_delayed> Broxi how do you rate wackychat?
<+Broxi> using the power of greyskull
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate telnet?
<+Broxi> Try twisting.
#291 (+|-)
(Rated: 0)
Craig: When do you fly back to the US
Jess: That's currently up in the air
Jess: No pun intended
#59 (+|-)
(Rated: -396)
WALLOP shadow: $ my throat is killing me.. anyone got tips how to reduce the pain?
WALLOP shadow: $ no, it's not caused by swallowing semen
WALLOP shadow: $ I don't think swallowing semen would help either
WALLOP shadow: $ I see.. so honey + lemon + warm milk/water would help
WALLOP shadow: $ no, I'm not going to mix up any semen with that
WALLOP shadow: $ I wonder what whiskey + warm milk would taste like
WALLOP shadow: $ No, I don't think it would taste like semen
WALLOP shadow: $ FINE! I'll try the semen, so shut up already!
#77 (+|-)
(Rated: -355)
<sano_> argh
<sano_> i just wrote a backup script
<sano_> and then i overwrote it
<sano_> and i dont have a backup of it
#179 (+|-)
(Rated: -447)
<Missfire> It isn't fat, it has a lot of fur that makes it look fat. Some cats are just... well... not that skilled. My cat is slim but when he tries to jump onto something is a bit like watching a cow doing ballet.
#60 (+|-)
(Rated: -450)
<Shift_Wreck> OMG guys you gotta hear this
<Shift_Wreck> So i goes to the grocery store to pick up smokes and a frozen pizza.
<Shift_Wreck> I get my things and head to the 12 items or less line.
<Shift_Wreck> i get in line just as the guy in front of me is setting his items down on the conveyor belt thing
<Shift_Wreck> his items were: get this
<Shift_Wreck> a box of condoms, a medium sized cucumber, a tub of margarine and a 12 pack of beer
<Shift_Wreck> I imediatly am thinking "lolwut?"
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> oops
<Shift_Wreck> the guy and cashere must have heard it because they both turn to look at me
<Shift_Wreck> im grinning from ear to ear now and my eyes are darting from the guys face and the items he had on the belt
<Shift_Wreck> i catch the casheirs eye and i look at her and shes looking at me like 0_0 and shaking her head "no dont!"
<Shift_Wreck> this all was a few seconds but it felt like an eternity...
<Shift_Wreck> well i finaly says to myself: "shift, youve gone this far, may as well say something"
<Shift_Wreck> so i say to the guy (still with this huge grin) "going to a party?"
<Shift_Wreck> The girl just loses it and starts laughing
<Shift_Wreck> the guy just scowls at me
<Shift_Wreck> looks to the girl
<Shift_Wreck> and walks away leaving his items there at the checkout
<Shift_Wreck> it was kinda awkward
<Shift_Wreck> pizzas good though
#171 (+|-)
(Rated: -376)
(%[E]lVirus) I find vasoline is a terrible lube - everytime I try to wash it off , I get aroused again
#165 (+|-)
(Rated: -436)
<+Steve0> Googlebot lol silly bot
<.Vista> I remember when I used php-nuke
<.Vista> it got stuck following links on the calender
<+Steve0> LOL!
<.Vista> I think it got to 2056 before I booted it's ip
#53 (+|-)
(Rated: -358)
<pils> An email from a friend:
<pils> one guy in my office thought the firewall access to the users pc's was
<pils> dependant on the colour of the ethernet cable, so he was hunting for
<pils> the red "high access" cable this morning, to swap it for his yellow
<pils> "normal access" cable.......
<Phil> colour coding cables is one thing
<Phil> that's just insane
#39 (+|-)
(Rated: -349)
17:12 < RooT> »Vista«
17:12 < RooT> »SharkTooth«
17:12 < RooT> are you online?
18:08 * Vista checks whether he's online
18:08 -!- Irssi: Pasting 8 lines to #4-IRC. Press Ctrl-K if you wish to do this
or Ctrl-C to cancel.
18:08 < Vista> administrator@Laptop:~$ ping 192.168.1.254
18:08 < Vista> PING 192.168.1.254 (192.168.1.254) 56(84) bytes of data.
18:08 < Vista> From 192.168.1.254 icmp_seq=1 Destination Host Unreachable
18:08 < Vista> From 192.168.1.254 icmp_seq=2 Destination Host Unreachable
18:08 < Vista> From 192.168.1.254 icmp_seq=3 Destination Host Unreachable
18:08 < Vista> --- 192.168.1.254 ping statistics ---
18:08 < Vista> 6 packets transmitted, 0 received, +3 errors, 100% packet loss,
time 5017ms
18:08 < Vista> , pipe 3
18:08 < Vista> nope
18:08 < Vista> :-P
#58 (+|-)
(Rated: -365)
J - The Ultimate In Experience says:
I'm sure I heard a seagull dying in the mouth of a cat one morning
Craig - In Trance We Trust says:
lol
J - The Ultimate In Experience says:
It's squawking got more out of breath
Till it was silent
Craig - In Trance We Trust says:
I was probably having an orgasm
*it