#51 (+|-)
(Rated: -333)
<jws> You just *know* you have a virus when you see this:
<jws> (D:) Local Disk
<jws> Total size: 66631337 GB
#147 (+|-)
(Rated: -453)
<~zomg> Fgt
<Profash> HELLO
<Profash> Dear Customer, We're facing a major abuse issue with our Canadian segment, we're trying to resolve this case directly with our uplinks, if nothing is resolved within 48hrs we will grab the data from the servers and restore you on a new Canadian segment, we do apologize for the issues caused, we'll keep you notified asap. Thank you.
<~zomg> RIP
<Eck> hope your data is lost
<Eck> bitch
#139 (+|-)
(Rated: -436)
<+CloPhone> Im freezing
<+Broxi> YOU'RE freezing? feel these nipples! < Broxi is a bot that occasionally responds to chat in humorous ways
#189 (+|-)
(Rated: -424)
<Charles> The best story involves a bestiality site. No, really, it does.
There was this bestiality site that used our software. I don't even remember what it was now but we would get calls quite often. People would call and say "I would like to cancel my account" and we would try to find them in our database. After quite a bit of looking we would say "well this is for IPS right" and they would say "no it's for animal lovers anonymous" ...
Then of course there's the awkward silence. Where you now know that the person on the other end of the phone likes Bambi a bit too much. So then you have to say "um I think you're calling the wrong people" ...
Then there's another awkward silence where THEY now know that YOU know that they enjoy cuddling with Snoopy on cold evenings.
It was a combination of creepy and amusing at the same time. This went on for a couple months actually.
#156 (+|-)
(Rated: -406)
<Locke|Away> Listen, this is purely theoretical, but is it dangerous to get a cat high?
<Boko> only one way to find out o_O
<Locke|Away> Like, not making him eat it or anything, but let's say there is a cat around the smoke.
<Locke|Away> That's not going to hurt the cat or anything, right?
<Odyslep> don't think so
<Odyslep> unless it ODs
<Odyslep> prolly give it a cough too
<Locke|Away> Let's say it hasn't coughed but it keeps trying to jump on top of the TV set and it keeps missing.
<Locke|Away> Would that sort of cat be in any trouble?
#263 (+|-)
(Rated: -227)
Jamie: Will you marry this Lenovo Laptop 😀
Craig: yep...lol
Jamie: I wonder how it would give the ring - perhaps 3D print it? lol
Jamie: With a printer linked by usb
Jamie:lol
"Will you take all they have - all 16Gb" 😮
Jamie: lol
Craig: dvd drive opens, and it's sitting on the tray😂
Jamie: "To hold and to cherish - to defragment every so often" lol
Jamie: lol
Craig: or.....the tray comes out, and becomes the ring
Jamie: That would be so "sweet" lol
Jamie: Or...
Jamie: the ring would be the weights in the mouse
Jamie: You just have to unlock the bottom
lol
Craig: Mark Zuckerberg is currently thinking 'what the fuck are those 2 going on about?'
#159 (+|-)
(Rated: -410)
<Pr1ncess> oh sick i just sneezed and blood shot out of my crotch
<etrigan> that time again??
<Pr1ncess> hahaha
<Pr1ncess> yes
<Pr1ncess> that was a pretty fucking sick thing to say wasnt it?
<etrigan> hell yes
#198 (+|-)
(Rated: -394)
wtf....that didn't look as though I spelt housing right.
I asked my amazon echo to spell it...it gave me the spelling of helsinki instead:-|
Now it's telling me how to spell england:-S
stupid deaf alexa:-p
#46 (+|-)
(Rated: -420)
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
yeah.....latest version....3.2.8.1
hmmmm....my wireless is going screwy
says i'm connected to BTHomeHub-C316(unsecured)
which is the right ssid....but it's not unsecured
[UFP]Darkpsy says:
i'll see if i can connect to it to see if it went unsecured
wait'
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
ummmmm.....you're a little bit too far away
[UFP]Darkpsy says:
thats impossible
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
lmao
#109 (+|-)
(Rated: -386)
<+sb> @ Anna plz tell me who is besides
<+Anna> I'd strongly advise against buggering ANY staffmember through email about the script. Make a thread in the forums and they *might* answer eventually
<+sb> uhooooooo
<+sb> i found it
<+sb> http://code.google.com/p/eris-flash-irc-client/
<+sb> check and tell me
<+sb> how to use it
<+Anna> I don't KNOW what script was setup here, and I was NOT part of setting it up, so I would have no clue on that
<+Anna> there's hopefully instructions included
<+barefoot> Anna ... you might not want to use "buggering" in the future
<+Anna> ok
<+Sierra> Oh god, nice typo
#126 (+|-)
(Rated: -423)
<+AnImAtIoN> could be worse
<~SpiderSheepy> gah
<+AnImAtIoN> i could be like this
<+AnImAtIoN> Laught Out Loud
<~SpiderSheepy> can i ban him?
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> LAUGH*
<+Broxi> :O
<~SpiderSheepy> making me squint
<+Lefteris/Chat> xaaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxax
<+AnImAtIoN> read properly then
<~FuzzyFox> Please
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> OMG i thought you said it's making me squirt
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> i was like WHAT?
<+AnImAtIoN> rofl
<~FuzzyFox> LOL
<~SpiderSheepy> sick lol
<+AnImAtIoN> yah mon
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> was about to ask if i could watch :/
#188 (+|-)
(Rated: -409)
<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I said "dpkg dash
dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke bottle into
the recycling bin.
#99 (+|-)
(Rated: -382)
* %iso is eating a helicopter
<%iso> *hamburger
<+cezz> lol
<+cezz> yummy helicoper
<+cezz> what is the nicest bit? I bet it is the propellers
<%iso> The skids
<%iso> They're always nice and cripsy
<+cezz> Ahhh but they can get a bit dirty from time to rime
#265 (+|-)
(Rated: -143)
Craig: I tried relinking his ring
*I was talking about a ring doorbell account, but instead sounded a bit dirty*
#127 (+|-)
(Rated: -389)
<Guesm27> hai can i suck ur pussy
<ScoobyDrew> nah,you'd just get hairballs and i'd be stuck with a wet traumatized cat
#171 (+|-)
(Rated: -376)
(%[E]lVirus) I find vasoline is a terrible lube - everytime I try to wash it off , I get aroused again
#151 (+|-)
(Rated: -429)
<Swift> I need lemonade.
<dmc2> I hate it when my sound goes blurry.
<supakoopa> i hate when my video gets loud.
#187 (+|-)
(Rated: -393)
<Baby-d> I set up a shoutcast last night while I was pretty wasted, it's fuckin tight though
<SilverJag> I guess
<Baby-d> you guess!?!
<Baby-d> show some more enthusiasim!
<Baby-d> :)
<SilverJag> I cant I have diahreaa
#240 (+|-)
(Rated: -318)
Jamie: I hope they don't link up the 3.5" floppy lol. There will be no response
Jamie: Controller is knackered
#81 (+|-)
(Rated: -379)
*** [ircnic] (ircnic@couldnt.find.condoms.so.I.used.my.leftsock.com) has left #trance
#218 (+|-)
(Rated: -443)
Craig: yep
Craig: I'll keep everything crossed for you
Craig: hmm....actually...maybe not everything *winces*
😜
Zac: Don't cross your balls, they will turn blue. And blue balls aren't a good thing LOL
Zac: OMG stop reading my mind 😕
Craig: lol
#119 (+|-)
(Rated: -403)
<+plat_> "sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587GB in about 3 seconds"
#183 (+|-)
(Rated: -459)
<@Andromeda> we only have like 60 dns' :P
<twink|es-> ohh i like it when you talk to me in chinese
<twink|es-> -_-
<Debi> ;)
<@Andromeda> 60 addresses
<@Andromeda> lol
#247 (+|-)
(Rated: -322)
I was thinking about making something good for dinner, so I asked the computer...
It was a few moments later that I realised the computer doesn't know how to cook :)
#284 (+|-)
(Rated: -56)
<r3pwn> Pretty sure something just exploded next door
<r3pwn> but I still have power so I'm okay
<IllegalArgument> Exploding things next door tend to not be good...
<r3pwn> There's no screaming (the neighbors whose house the sound came from have like 6 kids), so I guess it's okay
<IllegalArgument> Either it was insignificant enough not to warrant screaming, or they all perished in the blast
#186 (+|-)
(Rated: -435)
<Angelic> the best ones are the people who call up claiming to be network admins
<Angelic> and you can tell its a total lie
<Angelic> I had a "network admin" call once stating that he had the house wired with cat5 when it was built
<Angelic> so he should be able to connect all 6 computers to the internet without a router ot hub
<Angelic> wanted to know why the tech insisted it couldnt be done
<Angelic> I asked him what was going to assign the dynamic addresses and he said the house
#132 (+|-)
(Rated: -354)
<myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
<myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
#258 (+|-)
(Rated: -259)
<@insomnia> it only takes three commands to install Gentoo
<@insomnia> cfdisk dev/hda && mkfs.xfs /devhda1/ && mount /dev/hda1 /mnt/gentoo && chroot /mnt/gentoo && env-update && . /etc/profile && emerge sync && cd /usr/portage && /scripts/bootstrap.sh && emerge system && emerge vim && vi /etc/fstab && emerge gentoo-dev-sources && cd /usr/src/linux && make menuconfig && make install modules_install && emerge gnome mozilla-firefox openoffice && emerge grub && cp /boot/grub/grub.conf.sample /boot/grub/grub.conf && vi /boot/grub/grub.conf && grub && init 6
<@insomnia> that's the first one
#274 (+|-)
(Rated: -155)
Jamie: fuck I just accidentally took dulcolax instead of paracetamol
Jamie: the packets look the same
Jamie: fuck lol
Craig: whatever you do....don't fart😂
#213 (+|-)
(Rated: -409)
* .Vista yawns
<.Ace> Ace shoves a whole pizza in Vista 's mouth and laughs while watching them choke
* .Vista ynaws
<.Ace> Ace svheos a wohle pziza ni Vista 's mtouh nad lhguas wihle wtchniag tehm cohke:-P
#148 (+|-)
(Rated: -379)
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate flash?
<+Broxi> more lubricant
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate java?
<+Broxi> give it a push
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate irc?
<+Broxi> drink volvic first, then try
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate mirc?
<+Broxi> Industrial light and magic.
<+forever_delayed> Broxi how do you rate wackychat?
<+Broxi> using the power of greyskull
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate telnet?
<+Broxi> Try twisting.
#85 (+|-)
(Rated: -379)
<Fury> dude! The power just went out in the house and all over the city.
<Fury> everything is off =X
<Fury> fuck its so dark. this fucking sucks.
<Angelic[X]> Why are you still here?
—› quit: (Fury) (siren@2c4e124f.19108886.cable.ntl.com) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
#179 (+|-)
(Rated: -446)
<Missfire> It isn't fat, it has a lot of fur that makes it look fat. Some cats are just... well... not that skilled. My cat is slim but when he tries to jump onto something is a bit like watching a cow doing ballet.
#219 (+|-)
(Rated: -402)
Craig Turner: /me loads up the quote database, and gently strokes his screen while thinking how wierd it looks
#93 (+|-)
(Rated: -402)
<kerushixx> dude, i just saw a moth fart!
<tulam> 0_o
<tulam> how do you know it farted?
<kerushixx> it flew in a straight line
#92 (+|-)
(Rated: -436)
<Poyzin> So, something amusing happened to me.
<Kilts> ?
<Poyzin> I clocked out of work today, and the ticket tells me I've worked 13 hours and 37 minutes.
<Poyzin> Of course, presented as 13.37.
<Poyzin> Know what that makes me? :D
<Kilts> lol really leet?
<Poyzin> ...
<Poyzin> I worked 13 and a half fucking hours, and TIRED isn't your first guess? God dammit.
#128 (+|-)
(Rated: -394)
* TT205 wants to build a SNOT-HIPPO!!!!
<TT205> *blink*
* TT205 wants to build a SNOW-HIPPO!!!!
#177 (+|-)
(Rated: -386)
<justie> i did something stupid
<justie> chmod -x chmod
<justie> anyone knows how to fix it?
#66 (Rated: -415)
<Kat> I just got an email from Horny Orgy Babes.
<Kat> oh gee... I wonder what it's about
<kmds> rhinocerous calves studying organic chemistry?
#87 (+|-)
(Rated: -400)
<Dyl4N>a mosquito landed on my screen and i went to right click on it and close it...
<Dyl4N>then i realized i should get out more
<Jesse>send me a screen shot
<Jesse>wait
#175 (+|-)
(Rated: -455)
night98|away «night98@boy.from.venus» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus crazy.janus) «98 people»
TBBTNut «~tbbtnut@netadmin.TBBTNet.com» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) «97 people»
night98 «~night98@boy.from.venus» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) «96 people»
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and crazy.janus - Invincible
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and tbbt.janus - Invincible
*Can't help thinking that's like getting hit by a car and being told afterwards 'there's a car coming'*
#124 (+|-)
(Rated: -430)
<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language
#57 (+|-)
(Rated: -331)
<RDrR> FUCK FUCK FUCK
<RDrR> i was tryin to do that spray whippd cream snorting thing
<RDrR> i filled my entire fukin nasal cavity with whipped cream
<RDrR> fuck its bleedin
#163 (+|-)
(Rated: -425)
<&George> im freezin
<+Broxi> YOU'RE freezin? feel these nipples!
<+Roxi> YOU'RE freezin? feel my fanny!
#56 (+|-)
(Rated: -339)
@eliaz`medal): i have broken two of my erm
(@eliaz`medal): foot things
(@eliaz`medal): extensions
(@eliaz`medal): those little thigns on ur feet (@eliaz`medal): 5 on each :: (@eliaz`medal): :/
(@eliaz`medal): dunno name
(@Ched): toes?