ChatNSN Quotes

#36 (+|-) (Rated: -382)
insomniac: why is it that if you grind corn up into mush, eat it, it shows up as a full kernel in the toilet a few days later?
Steelix: He's right.
insomniac: what happens in my stomach...
mindule: insom: that's very interesting
PixelGuru: damn
PixelGuru: i pity you when you eat applesauce
insomniac: haha

#286 (+|-) (Rated: -50)
Jamie: Stipulated Autocorrect

#54 (+|-) (Rated: -413)
insaneFlash: man
insaneFlash: finals are taring me an ass
dogz: ah
dogz: man
dogz: are they gziping it as well?

#83 (+|-) (Rated: -410)
<+HoCkster> I got an official warning from my bank
<+HoCkster> I usually pay my rent as "Columbian Drug Money", they never objected
<+HoCkster> but then I forgot my mates cell phone number,
<+HoCkster> we were both doing internet banking at the same time right
<@Lilzvixen> welcome to my room
<+HoCkster> so I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your number"
<+HoCkster> and we start having this whole conversation
<+HoCkster> it was like webchat
<+HoCkster> so like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up and were like
<+HoCkster> "have you thought of getting MSN?"

#112 (+|-) (Rated: -402)
<+skatzifromtwogen> Restart my whole computer
<+skatzifromtwogen> and my website still won't load.
<+Johan> are you an administrator?
Johan «61728065@xC-A4EEB02A.ks.ok.cox.net» has Quit iRC (Client exited) «31 people»
<+skatzifromtwogen> Yes i am
<+Sierra> skatzifromtwogen: Did you contact your ISP?
<+Sierra> skatzifromtwogen: And he was asking if you were an x10 administrator I think XD
Johan (61728065@xC-A4EEB02A.ks.ok.cox.net) has joined. «32 people»
Alice sets mode: +v Johan
<+skatzifromtwogen> No i didn't contact them
nxcorex (53152468@xC-7E964982.dsl.teksavvy.com) has joined. «33 people»
Alice sets mode: +v nxcorex
<+nxcorex> hello
<+skatzifromtwogen> I am 14. and have no power in talking to my internet providor.
<+skatzifromtwogen> also
<+nxcorex> can anyone tell me if it's possible to run ssl and magneto
<+skatzifromtwogen> I am the one who made my site
<+skatzifromtwogen> so yet i am the admin of the hosting
<+nxcorex> on premium pack 3 years?
<+skatzifromtwogen> So long story short. Yes i am the Admin/ maker of the site.
<+skatzifromtwogen> So i own the x10hosting login for twogengamerz

#129 (+|-) (Rated: -424)
* +BabyCheetah throws a council brick at Jue :)
* +Jue throws a privately owned one back

#79 (+|-) (Rated: -405)
<LabMonkey> ok riddle me this
<LabMonkey> I open the pack of cigarettes
<LabMonkey> pull out one
<LabMonkey> pick up my lighter
<LabMonkey> put the cigarette back in the pack
<LabMonkey> then try to light my nose...
<LabMonkey> What the fuck, over.

#187 (+|-) (Rated: -396)
<Baby-d> I set up a shoutcast last night while I was pretty wasted, it's fuckin tight though
<SilverJag> I guess
<Baby-d> you guess!?!
<Baby-d> show some more enthusiasim!
<Baby-d> :)
<SilverJag> I cant I have diahreaa

#172 (+|-) (Rated: -435)
* %Angie streaks
<+Red-Dragon> >.>
<Vista> stupid thing doesn't seem to like static ip configs
* +Red-Dragon looks
* %Angie streaks by again
<%Angie> :p
* +Red-Dragon watches again
* +Tidus takes a vid
<%Angie> :O
<%Angie> that'll be 3 payments of 39.99 please
<+Sess> lol
<+Tidus> plus s&h?
<%Angie> no
<%Angie> free S&H
<+Red-Dragon> not for me i got other payment methods :P
<+Tidus> shweet
<%Angie> you get freebies :p videos i charge for hah
* Vista gets on his bike to chase Angie, but then realizes he's too out of shape, falls off and lays on the ground panting:-|
<%Angie> lmfao
* %Angie hands Vista albuterol
<+Red-Dragon> PDA!

#149 (+|-) (Rated: -413)
* Red-Dr[a]gon was kicked by Atreyu (Testies 1 2 3 [kick count:247])
Red-Dr[a]gon (Red-Dragon@Embrace.The.Fire) has joined, but is a Clone of Red-Dragon «46 people»
Ownage sets mode: +ao Red-Dr[a]gon Red-Dr[a]gon
<Red-Dr[a]gon> is also in channels « &#Sarah`s-Office #Espanol &#support »
<Vanilla`Wafer> i read that as testicles

#127 (+|-) (Rated: -389)
<Guesm27> hai can i suck ur pussy
<ScoobyDrew> nah,you'd just get hairballs and i'd be stuck with a wet traumatized cat

#270 (+|-) (Rated: -213)
Jamie: Cashpoint is being fixed by an engineer oiling the rollers
Jamie: I wish he would put the machine back together he's been rubbing a rod for ages

#123 (+|-) (Rated: -421)
<Gonkster> when i worked for stagecoach, lass sat on periscope, no knicks on
<Gonkster> ffs, i nearly knocked down a building lol
<Gonkster> just saw this beaver winkin at me down periscope lol

#113 (+|-) (Rated: -399)
Jamie Robinson: Ta for the links luckily it is for someone at work so i dont have to get any viri lol
Craig Turner: lol
Jamie Robinson: Im fed up of viri avast report its own virus definitions update as infected the other day lol

#241 (+|-) (Rated: -328)
Ellie Wright: Is there a cow shortage that I'm unaware of?

#254 (+|-) (Rated: -227)
Craig: probably won't look quite as good as the one I had, but it's the taste that matters....not the looks

#116 (+|-) (Rated: -379)
<@Angie`> omgg painnnn
<~Availea> Glad we could come to a compromise :D
* ~Availea snuggles Angie` and rubs her back
<@Angie`> i think it may be gas cause everytime it cramps i fart lol

#188 (Rated: -406)
<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I said "dpkg dash
dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke bottle into
the recycling bin.

#105 (+|-) (Rated: -354)
Referring to a comment about an annoyed looking cat: Thats some angry pussy you have got there!

#133 (+|-) (Rated: -422)
<.Vista> agh.....fucking craneflies:@
<.Vista> pissing me off now
<DigitalEquinox> I must be getting tired, I thought that said cornflakes, I had to read it twice. :/

#64 (+|-) (Rated: -447)
<@anorexicpoodle> so the cable modem is plugged directly into your comp
<KooGooShii> lemme check
<KooGooShii> yup
<KooGooShii> i just unhooked it and checked
<FinalLancer> /notice me if you get it up, imma gonna be doing stuffs
<KooGooShii> yet im still on the internet
<KooGooShii> isnt that weird
<@anorexicpoodle> uhh
<@anorexicpoodle> what port did you unhook
<KooGooShii> lets see how long i can go without my modem plugged in before i get disconnected!
KooGooShii «~aliasmpu@24.114.112.97» has Quit iRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

#255 (+|-) (Rated: -341)
Craig: although i'm not bothered if it turns out to be that
Craig: as it doesn't affect me eating or anything
Craig: it's just a lack of feeling in a certain small area
Jamie: ask them whilst there... do they do enlargements for me :)
Jamie: lol
Jamie: brb
Craig: and yes....I AM aware of how dodgy 'a certain small area' sounds;)

#171 (+|-) (Rated: -377)
(%[E]lVirus) I find vasoline is a terrible lube - everytime I try to wash it off , I get aroused again

#283 (+|-) (Rated: -67)
Jamie: it was spurting from the hose

#35 (+|-) (Rated: -406)
»julez« : she coulda read em thru the fabric
   Freebird : were you leakin?
ÐïvëÐèèpër : :-O
  »julez« : :-|
ÐïvëÐèèpër : brb
Vista® looks up leaking pussy on google images and finds a picture of a wet cat
  »julez« : :-O
ÐïvëÐèèpër : back
   »julez« : wb
ÐïvëÐèèpër : howdy vista   wondered if you were actually here
ÐïvëÐèèpër : ty Darin
Vista® : ah....found one.....had to turn safesearch off
ÐïvëÐèèpër : lmao

#152 (+|-) (Rated: -432)
<Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting near this group of black guys at a table and they all had tucked in shirts and shit, looked educated, I think they were studying calculus or some shit
<Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table with a bunch of white guys, all ghetto looking, three of them wore fucking grills, sagging pants, and one was playing some 50 cent ringtone or some shit
<Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii"
<Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me muttered "fucking niggers"
<Turkeyslam> I choked on my fucking jolt cola

#42 (+|-) (Rated: -426)
Jameleous says:
i was just typing "the service has been good on o2 since i turned off 3g, reset and turned it back on" - 5 bars generally
as i typed it said error - cannot send message as network is not found
NO SERVICE at the top

#55 (+|-) (Rated: -318)
schala: ... youve never had a pap smear.
schala: Let me explain
schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke your weebleweebles and then you're done
danni: -Blinks.-
danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP

#90 (+|-) (Rated: -398)
.julia           • mines light blue tho
.Vista           • I prefer mine: http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_253669_langId_-1_categoryId_165499
.Vista           • different colour, but it's that make and model
.Vista           › has just noticed he's linked to the ladies model without realising:-|

#206 (+|-) (Rated: -409)
Ace (ecA@legend-7494CF05.csc2ya.co.uk) has joined, but is a Clone of Vista & Vista «4 people»

#62 (+|-) (Rated: -397)
<MystyGlyttyr> No, had to spank the cat for crawling up on the gun cabinet.
<Vennie> Next time just leave them loaded and let the problem solve itself
<MystyGlyttyr> Nah, it's not my cat.

#89 (+|-) (Rated: -411)
*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah. Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'

#292 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
Me: how many times does the letter "n" appear in the word "mayonnaise"?
Copilot: The letter “n” appears once in the word “mayonnaise”.
Me: are you sure?
Copilot: Yes, I’m sure. The word “mayonnaise” contains the letter “n” only once.
Me: count them again
Copilot: Certainly! Let’s count together: m-a-y-o-n-a-i-s-e. The letter “n” appears once in the word “mayonnaise”.
Me: so "m-a-y-o-n-n-a-i-s-e" only has one "n"?
Copilot: Apologies for the confusion. In the spelling “m-a-y-o-n-n-a-i-s-e,” the letter “n” appears twice. Thank you for pointing that out.

#228 (+|-) (Rated: -427)
Craig: ooh....nice....bill gates apparantly wants to give me a 5 million dollar 'donation'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes me wonder how many poeple actually fall for those e-mails
Craig: actually....it's not a donation he wants to give me...it's a 'dontion'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes it look even less legit when they can't spell properly

#119 (+|-) (Rated: -401)
<+plat_> "sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587GB in about 3 seconds"

#68 (+|-) (Rated: -421)
<Ephialtes> ugh
<Ephialtes> I.
<Ephialtes> Am.
<Ephialtes> Wet.
<Ephialtes> infact I am BEYOND wet
<Ephialtes> I am soaked
<Ephialtes> no wait, I am beyond soaked
<Ephialtes> I am drenched
<Ephialtes> and I may be beyond that
*** Ephialtes has been kicked off channel #ev3 by zambezi (flood)

#276 (+|-) (Rated: -121)
Jamie: fucking pudgeova
*he meant pigeon apparantly*

#271 (+|-) (Rated: -156)
Jamie: whilst my other hand is on other things it's hard

#215 (+|-) (Rated: -376)
Darkpsy__ (~ident@71.60.142.24) has joined, but is a Clone of Guest9205 «6 people»
Guest9205 «~ident@71.60.142.24» has Quit iRC (Connection reset by peer) «5 people»
<Vista> lol....it's getting longer O_O

#46 (+|-) (Rated: -416)
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
yeah.....latest version....3.2.8.1
hmmmm....my wireless is going screwy
says i'm connected to BTHomeHub-C316(unsecured)
which is the right ssid....but it's not unsecured
[UFP]Darkpsy says:
i'll see if i can connect to it to see if it went unsecured
wait'
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
ummmmm.....you're a little bit too far away
[UFP]Darkpsy says:
thats impossible
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
lmao

#85 (+|-) (Rated: -377)
<Fury> dude! The power just went out in the house and all over the city.
<Fury> everything is off =X
<Fury> fuck its so dark. this fucking sucks.
<Angelic[X]> Why are you still here?
—› quit: (Fury) (siren@2c4e124f.19108886.cable.ntl.com) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

#175 (+|-) (Rated: -455)
night98|away «night98@boy.from.venus» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus crazy.janus) «98 people»
TBBTNut «~tbbtnut@netadmin.TBBTNet.com» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) «97 people»
night98 «~night98@boy.from.venus» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) «96 people»
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and crazy.janus - Invincible
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and tbbt.janus - Invincible

*Can't help thinking that's like getting hit by a car and being told afterwards 'there's a car coming'*

#265 (+|-) (Rated: -142)
Craig: I tried relinking his ring
*I was talking about a ring doorbell account, but instead sounded a bit dirty*

#91 (+|-) (Rated: -369)
<Rach> when i get my old puter back i'll send you some songs
<Olly> What happened to it?
<Rach> i broke it
<Olly> On purpose?
<Rach> i wouldnt say PURPOSE
<Rach> just stupidly
<Olly> Ahh
<Olly> So you do know exatly what's wrong with it?
<Rach> yeah, it's full of water

#159 (+|-) (Rated: -408)
<Pr1ncess> oh sick i just sneezed and blood shot out of my crotch
<etrigan> that time again??
<Pr1ncess> hahaha
<Pr1ncess> yes
<Pr1ncess> that was a pretty fucking sick thing to say wasnt it?
<etrigan> hell yes

#273 (+|-) (Rated: -150)
Jamie: i wonder how many houses standby time I can get out of Oppo
Jamie: houses? 😨

#236 (+|-) (Rated: -378)
Craig: hmmm....thought I was going mad then....forgot how to change who I show up as when liking page poasts..lol
Craig: and wtf is a poast????
Craig: lol

#60 (+|-) (Rated: -450)
<Shift_Wreck> OMG guys you gotta hear this
<Shift_Wreck> So i goes to the grocery store to pick up smokes and a frozen pizza.
<Shift_Wreck> I get my things and head to the 12 items or less line.
<Shift_Wreck> i get in line just as the guy in front of me is setting his items down on the conveyor belt thing
<Shift_Wreck> his items were: get this
<Shift_Wreck> a box of condoms, a medium sized cucumber, a tub of margarine and a 12 pack of beer
<Shift_Wreck> I imediatly am thinking "lolwut?"
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> oops
<Shift_Wreck> the guy and cashere must have heard it because they both turn to look at me
<Shift_Wreck> im grinning from ear to ear now and my eyes are darting from the guys face and the items he had on the belt
<Shift_Wreck> i catch the casheirs eye and i look at her and shes looking at me like 0_0 and shaking her head "no dont!"
<Shift_Wreck> this all was a few seconds but it felt like an eternity...
<Shift_Wreck> well i finaly says to myself: "shift, youve gone this far, may as well say something"
<Shift_Wreck> so i say to the guy (still with this huge grin) "going to a party?"
<Shift_Wreck> The girl just loses it and starts laughing
<Shift_Wreck> the guy just scowls at me
<Shift_Wreck> looks to the girl
<Shift_Wreck> and walks away leaving his items there at the checkout
<Shift_Wreck> it was kinda awkward
<Shift_Wreck> pizzas good though

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