Quote Database

#237 (+|-) (Rated: -308)
<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko

#167 (+|-) (Rated: -425)
<+|neo|> FUCK!!!!!!!!!
<+|neo|> fucking donut
<+|neo|> this is gay
<+|neo|> i bit my lip while eating this donut
<+|neo|> hurt like a bitch
<+|neo|> bout 5 secs later i bit it in the same place again
<+|neo|> then it started bleeding
<@Decco> lol
<+|neo|> then about 20 secs ago i bit the same part again
<sic6sic> neo....dont move
<sic6sic> just....dont move

#178 (+|-) (Rated: -483)
<Grid> Hey Psyko, if the world was gonna end in 3 minutes, what would you do?
<Psyko> I'D SCREW ANYTHING THAT MOVES!!! What would you do?
<Grid> ... ... ... I'd stand very very still. o.o;

#118 (+|-) (Rated: -404)
Craig - ChatNSN Radio is back online - http://radio.csc2ya.co.uk:8000;): Message may have not been sent because a timeout occurred:
Mini: its puttin me in time out im not a damn kid
Mini: *pouts*
<SharkTooth> dont even think of qdb'in that

#149 (+|-) (Rated: -409)
* Red-Dr[a]gon was kicked by Atreyu (Testies 1 2 3 [kick count:247])
Red-Dr[a]gon (Red-Dragon@Embrace.The.Fire) has joined, but is a Clone of Red-Dragon  «46 people»
Ownage sets mode: +ao Red-Dr[a]gon Red-Dr[a]gon
<Red-Dr[a]gon> is also in channels « &#Sarah`s-Office #Espanol &#support »
<Vanilla`Wafer> i read that as testicles

#43 (+|-) (Rated: -457)
Original Install Date:     27/07/2009, 22:36:19
System Up Time:            32 Days, 16 Hours, 33 Minutes, 52 Seconds

Note: this was originally posted on the 29th of july 2009 for anyone that doesn't get what's odd about that uptime.

#277 (+|-) (Rated: -77)
Jamie: lol every time I look at knickers

#170 (+|-) (Rated: -449)
<~Yuna> C[a]stle look im on top of you ^.^
<Panda> that doesn't sound weird at all
<+Inase_Moriyaku> that's what she sai--- oh wait.

#259 (+|-) (Rated: -288)
I didn't think that after selecting "Computer Studies" at school that it would lead to baldness, high blood pressure, a reliance on burgers and eventually insanity :D...
Of which only the last 2 decades since I have been compiling Linux from scratch have I noticed all the symptoms :P

#76 (+|-) (Rated: -335)
<datacide> i just wanted to type shutdown -r now
<datacide> and what i typed was stfu -r now
<datacide> and for a moment...it looked as though the damn machine was gonna do soemthing
<datacide> like a....stfu hidden binary

#194 (+|-) (Rated: -400)
<Javin> God I need to do laundry.
<Javin> At this point, the underwear I wear are the first ones I'm able to catch.
<Doh_> catch?
<Doh_> you mean there mOVING?
<Javin> Not as fast as the socks, but yes.
<Doh_> heh

#122 (+|-) (Rated: -433)
<+Vivcool> How do I use thunderbird as my email?
<+Vivcool> I don't like the x10's web mail
<+Skizzerz> see the link under "Access Webmail" next to the email account that says "Configure Email Client"?
<+Skizzerz> yeah, click that
<+Skizzerz> tells you everything you need to know
<+Vivcool> What do you use?

#73 (+|-) (Rated: -396)
(lawngrl): im gonna insert my ipod in my vagina tonight and go to sleep i love it so much
(Fire_on_High): I'm quite sure that'll void your warranty

#251 (+|-) (Rated: -342)
10 PRINT "Question: Are you going to switch to Linux?"
20 PRINT"Reply: No, I've told you this already"
30 PRINT"lol :D"
20 GOTO 10

#145 (+|-) (Rated: -406)
<FuzzyFox-Away> A 1 million pound prize was offered to any university who could explain why the end of a mans penis is helmet shaped.
<FuzzyFox-Away> The university of Cambridge concluded it was to give the man more pleasure.
<FuzzyFox-Away> The university of Oxford concluded it was to give the woman more pleasure.
<FuzzyFox-Away> The 'university' of Glasgow spent the afternoon in the pub and concluded it was to stop your hand slipping off.

#105 (+|-) (Rated: -351)
Referring to a comment about an annoyed looking cat: Thats some angry pussy you have got there!

#110 (+|-) (Rated: -414)
admin (76419697@xC-C7145B36.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined. «32 people»
Alice sets mode: +v admin
<+admin> hello
<+admin> can anyone put my site up? i registered over 4 hours ago and the site isnt set p yet..
<+admin> it still says processing wait
<+admin> :(
<+admin> btw im not admin
<+admin> anyone here?
<+admin> thesres 32 members online damn it..

*Note: 32 MEMBERS online...not 32 staff online*

#275 (+|-) (Rated: -116)
Jamie: yes .. it's big lol
Jamie: I would have to measure it

#164 (+|-) (Rated: -440)
<.Vista> I don't bugger servers anymore....they just bugger themselves now:-|
<.Vista> !8ball isn't that right Ace?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Of course!

#151 (+|-) (Rated: -429)
<Swift> I need lemonade.
<dmc2> I hate it when my sound goes blurry.
<supakoopa> i hate when my video gets loud.

#156 (Rated: -406)
<Locke|Away> Listen, this is purely theoretical, but is it dangerous to get a cat high?
<Boko> only one way to find out o_O
<Locke|Away> Like, not making him eat it or anything, but let's say there is a cat around the smoke.
<Locke|Away> That's not going to hurt the cat or anything, right?
<Odyslep> don't think so
<Odyslep> unless it ODs
<Odyslep> prolly give it a cough too
<Locke|Away> Let's say it hasn't coughed but it keeps trying to jump on top of the TV set and it keeps missing.  
<Locke|Away> Would that sort of cat be in any trouble?

#278 (+|-) (Rated: -92)
Jamie: now I smell like manhole

#141 (+|-) (Rated: -462)
<D|S-Alias> my balls are in such gay positions
<D|S-Alias> they are all on one side in a cluster
<D|S-random> i fuckin hate that
<D|S-random> when they stick to ur leg
<D|S-random> ER
<D|S-random> i just wanna rip them off
<D|S-Alias> im talking about pool yo

#191 (+|-) (Rated: -449)
|+p|ThinkRusty87| lol
|+p|ThinkRusty87| what one of you msged me on searchirc
|+p|ThinkRusty87| well if im not 'welcome here' why havent i been banned?.... also whoever messaged me saying "spamming doesnt get you users".... if YOU had users actually on here, lol
|+p|ThinkRusty87| and dns is down atm.. host is down
|+p|ThinkRusty87| custom php site, custom ajax webchat, custom ircx server-side
|+p|ThinkRusty87| and a 10 server link]
|+p|ThinkRusty87| better than this piece of shit... actually will have users and a site
|+p|ThinkRusty87| dont message me again on searchirc

*At least I don't spam other servers to try and get users*

#166 (+|-) (Rated: -403)
<+Roxi> Teh very thought of it make me... makes... littlre... sicky noises.]
<+Emma> haha
<+FeistyxDragon> we need cheering up with some gd music
<+Broxi> Don't come any closer or i will lay eggs in your stomach.

#103 (+|-) (Rated: -458)
[6:08pm] Link «Link@linkstechblog.com» has Quit iRC (For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.)

#46 (+|-) (Rated: -420)
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
yeah.....latest version....3.2.8.1
hmmmm....my wireless is going screwy
says i'm connected to BTHomeHub-C316(unsecured)
which is the right ssid....but it's not unsecured
[UFP]Darkpsy says:
i'll see if i can connect to it to see if it went unsecured
wait'
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
ummmmm.....you're a little bit too far away
[UFP]Darkpsy says:
thats impossible
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
lmao

#195 (+|-) (Rated: -369)
<nemovc>i once found the text strings stored in the bios of my old 286. not far from the standard "Keyboard error, press F1 to continue." message was "CPU not found. System halted."
<nemovc>i always wondered how they intended to display that message

#188 (+|-) (Rated: -409)
<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I said "dpkg dash
      dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke bottle into
      the recycling bin.

#88 (+|-) (Rated: -391)
[Luke]: I must say my mum is bad when it comes to security. Norton says her download is a virus, so she disables norton and runs the exe. FFS!!!

#148 (+|-) (Rated: -379)
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate flash?
<+Broxi> more lubricant
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate java?
<+Broxi> give it a push
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate irc?
<+Broxi> drink volvic first, then try
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate mirc?
<+Broxi> Industrial light and magic.
<+forever_delayed> Broxi how do you rate wackychat?
<+Broxi> using the power of greyskull
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate telnet?
<+Broxi> Try twisting.

#47 (+|-) (Rated: -406)
[16:35] *** Quits: Ser_Olmy_ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Rawr (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: natm (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: alien8 (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: christel (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: SNAFU` (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: metty (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Alasdair (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: }Night{ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: andyd_ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: sladen (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Noodles (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: data[moo] (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: cpufreak (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Dougie (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Radix (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
...
[17:24] *** Quits: huggie (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: kurai (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: maxeh (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: Weety (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: metty (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: huggie (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: kurai (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: maxeh (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: Weety (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: data[moo] (*.DE *.us.ircnet.net)
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[19:39] *** Quits: data[moo] (hub1.us.ircnet.net irc1.us.ircnet.net)
...
[20:35] *** Quits: cpufreak (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: metty (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: huggie (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: kurai (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: maxeh (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: Weety (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:39] <data[moo]> ircnet in the wash today or summit?
[20:39] <data[moo]> seems to be shrinking a bit

#244 (+|-) (Rated: -309)
Craig: Hopefully this will work
Craig: Yeast... it worked
Craig: Well....almost.. lol
Craig: that was meant to be 'yay'

#161 (+|-) (Rated: -442)
<Nightmare> bad timing for a disconnect
<Nightmare> i accidentally busted my pudding all over the floor

#153 (+|-) (Rated: -445)
<dithi> i've answered every single penis enlargement email, and the home finance ones, and the inkjet ones.  Now I have 500 houses that i owe money on, my penis is long enough to reach all of them, and it shoots inkjet ink.

#241 (+|-) (Rated: -329)
Ellie Wright: Is there a cow shortage that I'm unaware of?

#258 (+|-) (Rated: -259)
<@insomnia> it only takes three commands to install Gentoo
<@insomnia> cfdisk dev/hda && mkfs.xfs /devhda1/ && mount /dev/hda1 /mnt/gentoo && chroot /mnt/gentoo && env-update && . /etc/profile && emerge sync && cd /usr/portage && /scripts/bootstrap.sh && emerge system && emerge vim && vi /etc/fstab && emerge gentoo-dev-sources && cd /usr/src/linux && make menuconfig && make install modules_install && emerge gnome mozilla-firefox openoffice && emerge grub && cp /boot/grub/grub.conf.sample /boot/grub/grub.conf && vi /boot/grub/grub.conf && grub && init 6
<@insomnia> that's the first one

#101 (+|-) (Rated: -388)
<@Vista> oops:-S
* @Vista makes a mental note: make sure you configure things properly....you don't get over 2000 emails about a cron job error in a mailbox that's never checked then:-|

#130 (+|-) (Rated: -443)
<~SpiderSheepy> you should have heard me lastnight :|
<~FuzzyFox> she was rather drunk for one
<~SpiderSheepy> i also danced on a pole
<~SpiderSheepy> lol
<+WhiteWolf> SpiderSheepy btw you ever figure out where those handcuffs came from ?
<~SpiderSheepy> with 2 strippers
<~FuzzyFox> Its cute how the more drunk she gets, the more welsh she sounds :P
<~FuzzyFox> LOL
<~SpiderSheepy> no jason :S
<+WhiteWolf> you so go finger it out
<~FuzzyFox> Finger? :O
<~SpiderSheepy> o.O
<+Lodestone> i wonder if SpiderSheepy will do a pole dance for me when i see her this weekend :p
<~FuzzyFox> whos she fingering now

#111 (+|-) (Rated: -383)
<+Sierra> Marshy: You could try using storage sites like mediaforage and sendspace
<+Sierra> mediafire*
<+Sierra> I have no idea where forage came from

#41 (+|-) (Rated: -378)
<Helix> fuck
<Helix> my back right tire is flat
<Helix> this is lame
<Owashawa> change it and put the spare on
<Owashawa> problem solved
<Helix> then i have to change it
<Helix> and its cold
<Helix> and wet and shit
<irn> You fucking girl
<irn> get out there
<irn> What if your wife's water broke and you had to take her to hospital, eh?
<Helix> it'd make it
<Helix> besides, that's what ambulances are for
<irn> what if your vehicle IS the ambulance?
<Helix> ill know a thing or two about assiting birth
<Helix> besides, im gay and exempt from your question
<irn> What if your boyfriend got stuck in an inflatable suit during a balloon fetish romp?
<Helix> id masterbate until i passed out

#86 (+|-) (Rated: -429)
<MightyBlueJustice> I need to jack a hole in this floor so I can get the internet hooked up to the comp in the basement.
<MightyBlueJustice> I need more power tools
<MKDemon> You don't have a drill?
<MightyBlueJustice> We do somewhere.
<MightyBlueJustice> All I can find is a power sander and I just don't have that kind of time.

#177 (+|-) (Rated: -386)
<justie> i did something stupid
<justie> chmod -x chmod
<justie> anyone knows how to fix it?

#169 (+|-) (Rated: -400)
* fire_star is now marked as away: brb
|*|owner/host WackyDude has dehosted fire_star
* WackyDude sets mode: -a fire_star
|*|owner/host WackyDude has voiced fire_star
* fire_star has returned
|*|owner/host WackyDude has made fire_star a host
* WackyDude sets mode: +a fire_star
|+v|Broxi| Fuck its back, hide.

#212 (+|-) (Rated: -352)
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Are you kidding!?
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: No
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> stupid bot
<.Ace> stupid human:-|

#222 (+|-) (Rated: -448)
Referring to peeling oranges:

Me: They need to make a machine that you can put a peeled orange into,  and it comes out unpeeled

#264 (+|-) (Rated: -224)
Craig: there's someone on youtube who buys konkcoffs and reviews them
Craig: wtf????
Craig: *knockoffs

#54 (+|-) (Rated: -415)
insaneFlash: man
insaneFlash: finals are taring me an ass
dogz: ah
dogz: man
dogz: are they gziping it as well?

#74 (+|-) (Rated: -439)
<Tengu> I can has kitty?
<kjbrasda> i'll mail you one
<kjbrasda> first class
<HyperSquirrel> poke in air holes
<Gibbie> I don't think you should put holes in the kitty

#55 (+|-) (Rated: -318)
schala: ... youve never had a pap smear.
schala: Let me explain
schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke your weebleweebles and then you're done
danni: -Blinks.-
danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP