#85 (+|-)
(Rated: -518)
<Fury> dude! The power just went out in the house and all over the city.
<Fury> everything is off =X
<Fury> fuck its so dark. this fucking sucks.
<Angelic[X]> Why are you still here?
—› quit: (Fury) (siren@2c4e124f.19108886.cable.ntl.com) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)
#285 (+|-)
(Rated: -228)
Jamie: worst thing was when I once had to cook fish for another person
Jamie: I don't eat it
Jamie: I looked in the oven
Jamie: and it's lungs were breathing 😱
#245 (+|-)
(Rated: -415)
Jamie: It is in realisation that the computer is actually more intelligent than me that I officially will take the base unit to any job interviews and let it do the hard work :)
#131 (+|-)
(Rated: -515)
<SMW> howdy Ian
<SMW> how you doin tonight?
<Ian_Sharpe> same as always
<Ian_Sharpe> still smoking
<Ian_Sharpe> drinking too
<Protector> Seems you have something against internal organs that begin with the letter "L"
#185 (+|-)
(Rated: -439)
<GimpChimp> I'm going to rape it. And tell the court it lead me on with its suggestive icon-wiggling.
<GimpChimp> Just as soon as I work out the technical details of raping an Internet window.
#280 (+|-)
(Rated: -101)
Jamie: I've had to delete the profile folder again 😮
Jamie: I've completely lost my technical skill 😮
Jamie: first - I fuck up the installation then forget how I did it all
Jamie: now I've restored everything and am going round in circles
Jamie: memory like a goldfish
#80 (+|-)
(Rated: -460)
<matt____> hey guys is there a way to patch an older redhat server??
<matt____> Linux devcvs 2.2.16-22 #1 Tue Aug 22 16:49:06 EDT 2000 i686 unknown
<Evolution> holy hell
<Evolution> 2.2.16?
<Evolution> just out of curiosity, what's the uptime on that antique?
<matt____> devnu11:18am up 2287 days, 2:52, 25 users, load average: 1.76, 1.26, 0.70
<Zathrus> gods
#103 (+|-)
(Rated: -457)
[6:08pm] Link «Link@linkstechblog.com» has Quit iRC (For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.)
#112 (+|-)
(Rated: -516)
<+skatzifromtwogen> Restart my whole computer
<+skatzifromtwogen> and my website still won't load.
<+Johan> are you an administrator?
Johan «61728065@xC-A4EEB02A.ks.ok.cox.net» has Quit iRC (Client exited) «31 people»
<+skatzifromtwogen> Yes i am
<+Sierra> skatzifromtwogen: Did you contact your ISP?
<+Sierra> skatzifromtwogen: And he was asking if you were an x10 administrator I think XD
Johan (61728065@xC-A4EEB02A.ks.ok.cox.net) has joined. «32 people»
Alice sets mode: +v Johan
<+skatzifromtwogen> No i didn't contact them
nxcorex (53152468@xC-7E964982.dsl.teksavvy.com) has joined. «33 people»
Alice sets mode: +v nxcorex
<+nxcorex> hello
<+skatzifromtwogen> I am 14. and have no power in talking to my internet providor.
<+skatzifromtwogen> also
<+nxcorex> can anyone tell me if it's possible to run ssl and magneto
<+skatzifromtwogen> I am the one who made my site
<+skatzifromtwogen> so yet i am the admin of the hosting
<+nxcorex> on premium pack 3 years?
<+skatzifromtwogen> So long story short. Yes i am the Admin/ maker of the site.
<+skatzifromtwogen> So i own the x10hosting login for twogengamerz
#94 (+|-)
(Rated: -571)
<Adun|Oblivion> "The ejaculation of a dolphin carries so much force with it, that it could decapitate you."
<ChaosSmurf> You know
<ChaosSmurf> This is why Dolphins are ALWAYS happy
<ChaosSmurf> They're just sitting there going "Yeah, bitches, I can decapitate you with my sperm"
#107 (+|-)
(Rated: -513)
<Joah> texas
<+Alias> lol
<+Availea> Kentucky
<+Availea> Since we're randomly naming states :P
<+Alias> canada
<+V4mpire> canada is a country
<~clarjon1> confusion
<+Alias> I know
<~clarjon1> confusion, emergency, insanity, panic....
<~clarjon1> since we're naming states.
#159 (+|-)
(Rated: -524)
<Pr1ncess> oh sick i just sneezed and blood shot out of my crotch
<etrigan> that time again??
<Pr1ncess> hahaha
<Pr1ncess> yes
<Pr1ncess> that was a pretty fucking sick thing to say wasnt it?
<etrigan> hell yes
#79 (+|-)
(Rated: -499)
<LabMonkey> ok riddle me this
<LabMonkey> I open the pack of cigarettes
<LabMonkey> pull out one
<LabMonkey> pick up my lighter
<LabMonkey> put the cigarette back in the pack
<LabMonkey> then try to light my nose...
<LabMonkey> What the fuck, over.
#240 (+|-)
(Rated: -415)
Jamie: I hope they don't link up the 3.5" floppy lol. There will be no response
Jamie: Controller is knackered
#156 (+|-)
(Rated: -516)
<Locke|Away> Listen, this is purely theoretical, but is it dangerous to get a cat high?
<Boko> only one way to find out o_O
<Locke|Away> Like, not making him eat it or anything, but let's say there is a cat around the smoke.
<Locke|Away> That's not going to hurt the cat or anything, right?
<Odyslep> don't think so
<Odyslep> unless it ODs
<Odyslep> prolly give it a cough too
<Locke|Away> Let's say it hasn't coughed but it keeps trying to jump on top of the TV set and it keeps missing.
<Locke|Away> Would that sort of cat be in any trouble?
#179 (+|-)
(Rated: -554)
<Missfire> It isn't fat, it has a lot of fur that makes it look fat. Some cats are just... well... not that skilled. My cat is slim but when he tries to jump onto something is a bit like watching a cow doing ballet.
#36 (+|-)
(Rated: -457)
insomniac: why is it that if you grind corn up into mush, eat it, it shows up as a full kernel in the toilet a few days later?
Steelix: He's right.
insomniac: what happens in my stomach...
mindule: insom: that's very interesting
PixelGuru: damn
PixelGuru: i pity you when you eat applesauce
insomniac: haha
#195 (+|-)
(Rated: -451)
<nemovc>i once found the text strings stored in the bios of my old 286. not far from the standard "Keyboard error, press F1 to continue." message was "CPU not found. System halted."
<nemovc>i always wondered how they intended to display that message
#152 (+|-)
(Rated: -508)
<Turkeyslam> oh man I saw pure gold at lunch, I was sitting near this group of black guys at a table and they all had tucked in shirts and shit, looked educated, I think they were studying calculus or some shit
<Turkeyslam> and across from there, there was another table with a bunch of white guys, all ghetto looking, three of them wore fucking grills, sagging pants, and one was playing some 50 cent ringtone or some shit
<Turkeyslam> going "yeah boiiii"
<Turkeyslam> and one of the black guys in the table next to me muttered "fucking niggers"
<Turkeyslam> I choked on my fucking jolt cola
#239 (+|-)
(Rated: -398)
Jamie: I'd love to link up my 3.5" floppy with a computer, but the conductivity of my skin is not enough.
#146 (+|-)
(Rated: -552)
<+x_LiL_Sophie_x> Broxi are you horny?
<+Broxi> Yes and i wont stop till my vagina bounces off!
#43 (+|-)
(Rated: -563)
Original Install Date: 27/07/2009, 22:36:19
System Up Time: 32 Days, 16 Hours, 33 Minutes, 52 Seconds
Note: this was originally posted on the 29th of july 2009 for anyone that doesn't get what's odd about that uptime.
#153 (+|-)
(Rated: -577)
<dithi> i've answered every single penis enlargement email, and the home finance ones, and the inkjet ones. Now I have 500 houses that i owe money on, my penis is long enough to reach all of them, and it shoots inkjet ink.
#210 (+|-)
(Rated: -476)
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?
#228 (+|-)
(Rated: -527)
Craig: ooh....nice....bill gates apparantly wants to give me a 5 million dollar 'donation'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes me wonder how many poeple actually fall for those e-mails
Craig: actually....it's not a donation he wants to give me...it's a 'dontion'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes it look even less legit when they can't spell properly
#190 (Rated: -561)
<.Vista> damn
<.Vista> both my eggdrops forgot who I am:-S
<.Vista> had to wipe their userfiles then re-identify to them
<.Vista> !8ball am I really that easily forgotten?
<.Ace> 8Ball Response: ..Sure?
#175 (+|-)
(Rated: -536)
night98|away «night98@boy.from.venus» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus crazy.janus) «98 people»
TBBTNut «~tbbtnut@netadmin.TBBTNet.com» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) «97 people»
night98 «~night98@boy.from.venus» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) «96 people»
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and crazy.janus - Invincible
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and tbbt.janus - Invincible
*Can't help thinking that's like getting hit by a car and being told afterwards 'there's a car coming'*
#52 (+|-)
(Rated: -436)
A user on a network being really mature until I killed them *rolls eyes* They kept flooding so I kicked them, then this stupid exchange occurred:
Geo • jsdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
to operserv • kick
• OperServ [services@4-irc.com] has kicked Geo [Vista (stop flooding)]
• Geo [Geo@223D0935.8561C061.549CE784.IP] has joined #4-IRC
Geo • fuck
+Ace • i'd rather not thanks;)
+Ace • i don't have the right 'attachments':-P
Geo • »Vista« fuck your mother
Geo • »Ace« fuck your mother
Geo • »Vista« fuck Ace mother
Geo • »Ace« fuck Vista's mother
@Vista • wow...real mature
from AgeOfMythology.4-IRC.Com - *** Permanent K:Line added for *@91.204.190.36 on Sat Sep 5 19:04:48 2009 GMT (from Vista!~vista@NetAdmin.4-IRC.Com: nice try)
from AgeOfMythology.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client exiting: Geo (Geo@91.204.190.36) [User is permanently banned (nice try)]
#118 (+|-)
(Rated: -495)
Craig - ChatNSN Radio is back online - http://radio.csc2ya.co.uk:8000;): Message may have not been sent because a timeout occurred:
Mini: its puttin me in time out im not a damn kid
Mini: *pouts*
<SharkTooth> dont even think of qdb'in that
#44 (+|-)
(Rated: -502)
Icez • does Bandit still come here
SharkTooth • ?
SharkTooth • yes
SharkTooth › looks at bandit
SharkTooth › waves and yells IM RIGHT HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SharkTooth • Duh
Icez • ohh
#59 (+|-)
(Rated: -490)
WALLOP shadow: $ my throat is killing me.. anyone got tips how to reduce the pain?
WALLOP shadow: $ no, it's not caused by swallowing semen
WALLOP shadow: $ I don't think swallowing semen would help either
WALLOP shadow: $ I see.. so honey + lemon + warm milk/water would help
WALLOP shadow: $ no, I'm not going to mix up any semen with that
WALLOP shadow: $ I wonder what whiskey + warm milk would taste like
WALLOP shadow: $ No, I don't think it would taste like semen
WALLOP shadow: $ FINE! I'll try the semen, so shut up already!
#182 (Rated: -468)
<grapenuts> green, blue, golden piss color... its all the same once it hits your blood, it's all sugar
<grapenuts> Andromeda: 'cept the flesh of a slaughtered cow
<@Andromeda> actually its mostly ginseng
<grapenuts> or pigs
<@Andromeda> which is worse
*I joined the server to see this bizzare conversation*
#174 (+|-)
(Rated: -532)
|+p|Debi| Mine is flapping pointlessly somewhere round my ankles.
|+p|Athena| Wb Hellspawn.
|+p|Debi| thooper
|+p|Debi| Say, do you want to see a movie?
* LegendaryIRC sets mode: +h HellSpawn
|+p|Debi| i'm keeping quiet except for the odd fondle and humping
#218 (+|-)
(Rated: -543)
Craig: yep
Craig: I'll keep everything crossed for you
Craig: hmm....actually...maybe not everything *winces*
😜
Zac: Don't cross your balls, they will turn blue. And blue balls aren't a good thing LOL
Zac: OMG stop reading my mind 😕
Craig: lol
#198 (+|-)
(Rated: -503)
wtf....that didn't look as though I spelt housing right.
I asked my amazon echo to spell it...it gave me the spelling of helsinki instead:-|
Now it's telling me how to spell england:-S
stupid deaf alexa:-p
#53 (+|-)
(Rated: -405)
<pils> An email from a friend:
<pils> one guy in my office thought the firewall access to the users pc's was
<pils> dependant on the colour of the ethernet cable, so he was hunting for
<pils> the red "high access" cable this morning, to swap it for his yellow
<pils> "normal access" cable.......
<Phil> colour coding cables is one thing
<Phil> that's just insane
#116 (+|-)
(Rated: -418)
<@Angie`> omgg painnnn
<~Availea> Glad we could come to a compromise :D
* ~Availea snuggles Angie` and rubs her back
<@Angie`> i think it may be gas cause everytime it cramps i fart lol
#60 (+|-)
(Rated: -528)
<Shift_Wreck> OMG guys you gotta hear this
<Shift_Wreck> So i goes to the grocery store to pick up smokes and a frozen pizza.
<Shift_Wreck> I get my things and head to the 12 items or less line.
<Shift_Wreck> i get in line just as the guy in front of me is setting his items down on the conveyor belt thing
<Shift_Wreck> his items were: get this
<Shift_Wreck> a box of condoms, a medium sized cucumber, a tub of margarine and a 12 pack of beer
<Shift_Wreck> I imediatly am thinking "lolwut?"
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> oops
<Shift_Wreck> the guy and cashere must have heard it because they both turn to look at me
<Shift_Wreck> im grinning from ear to ear now and my eyes are darting from the guys face and the items he had on the belt
<Shift_Wreck> i catch the casheirs eye and i look at her and shes looking at me like 0_0 and shaking her head "no dont!"
<Shift_Wreck> this all was a few seconds but it felt like an eternity...
<Shift_Wreck> well i finaly says to myself: "shift, youve gone this far, may as well say something"
<Shift_Wreck> so i say to the guy (still with this huge grin) "going to a party?"
<Shift_Wreck> The girl just loses it and starts laughing
<Shift_Wreck> the guy just scowls at me
<Shift_Wreck> looks to the girl
<Shift_Wreck> and walks away leaving his items there at the checkout
<Shift_Wreck> it was kinda awkward
<Shift_Wreck> pizzas good though
#237 (+|-)
(Rated: -440)
<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko
#242 (+|-)
(Rated: -351)
So, not only will Google know when I have been searching for porn on the internet, it will now also know how fast my hand has been moving immediately afterwards! 🤒🤒
Not that I ever look for porn on the internet of course....just asking for a friend!
#119 (+|-)
(Rated: -474)
<+plat_> "sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587GB in about 3 seconds"
#34 (Rated: -456)
<.ғıяέkαтт> you should see it you take two big dongs that are used to
rough housing with each other and you throw a little man into
that mix,.... pure Mayhem and Havoc!!
#176 (+|-)
(Rated: -452)
<Chappy> how did you go online?
<Quasi> I'm on someone else's wireless.
<Chappy> oh really??? that s great!
<Quasi> It's not too bad, but I have to stay completely still or it disconnects.
<Quasi> I'm getting horrific leg cramps, but great download speeds.
#268 (+|-)
(Rated: -255)
Craig: I took some zapain earlier
Craig: hasn't really made a difference though
Jamie: ah co cosmological
Jamie: wtf
Jamie: stipulated autocorrect
#109 (+|-)
(Rated: -520)
<+sb> @ Anna plz tell me who is besides
<+Anna> I'd strongly advise against buggering ANY staffmember through email about the script. Make a thread in the forums and they *might* answer eventually
<+sb> uhooooooo
<+sb> i found it
<+sb> http://code.google.com/p/eris-flash-irc-client/
<+sb> check and tell me
<+sb> how to use it
<+Anna> I don't KNOW what script was setup here, and I was NOT part of setting it up, so I would have no clue on that
<+Anna> there's hopefully instructions included
<+barefoot> Anna ... you might not want to use "buggering" in the future
<+Anna> ok
<+Sierra> Oh god, nice typo