#210 (+|-)
(Rated: -391)
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?
#170 (+|-)
(Rated: -488)
<~Yuna> C[a]stle look im on top of you ^.^
<Panda> that doesn't sound weird at all
<+Inase_Moriyaku> that's what she sai--- oh wait.
#139 (+|-)
(Rated: -427)
<+CloPhone> Im freezing
<+Broxi> YOU'RE freezing? feel these nipples! < Broxi is a bot that occasionally responds to chat in humorous ways
#261 (+|-)
(Rated: -281)
Jamie Robinson: toad in the road
Jamie Robinson: autocorrect š
Craig Turner: Nope...a roast....but not road in the hole
Jamie Robinson: lol
Craig Turner: Fuck
Jamie Robinson: lol
Jamie Robinson: wtf lol
Craig Turner: *toad....lolš¤£
Jamie Robinson: fuck the toad?
Jamie Robinson: lol
Jamie Robinson: or the road š±
Jamie Robinson: it'll explode lol
Jamie Robinson: that rhymes with toad š
Craig Turner: š¤£
Jamie Robinson: I do believe that's the most abstract chat.. I've ever done lol
Craig Turner: Lmaoš¤£
#175 (+|-)
(Rated: -473)
night98|away Ā«night98@boy.from.venusĀ» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus crazy.janus) Ā«98 peopleĀ»
TBBTNut Ā«~tbbtnut@netadmin.TBBTNet.comĀ» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) Ā«97 peopleĀ»
night98 Ā«~night98@boy.from.venusĀ» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) Ā«96 peopleĀ»
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and crazy.janus - Invincible
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and tbbt.janus - Invincible
*Can't help thinking that's like getting hit by a car and being told afterwards 'there's a car coming'*
#136 (+|-)
(Rated: -425)
<Griffin> how are you Anrdi?
<andri> where are you came from?
<Griffin> usa
<Griffin> you?
<andri> are you sure?
<andri> i'm indonesian
<~Vista> nope....still haven't bothered fixing that menu
<andri> are ypu chick?
<andri> you
<Griffin> no im man
<andri> i'm looking for a chick man hahaha
andri (novaldyand@623B88FE.E8F009AA.2B18E8FB.IP) has parted. Ā«12 peopleĀ»
<~Vista> wtf???:-S
#78 (+|-)
(Rated: -470)
<Commander> whoa that's not good
<Commander> the end of my mobile plug (plugged into the USB port on my PC) was sitting in the side of a potplant IN WATER
<Commander> i pulled it out and it said "new usb device found"
<Commander> =/
<Commander> dunno how long it's been sitting there for
<CompHobbyist> new USB device found: potted plant v.001
<CompHobbyist> power usage for this device: -10W
#41 (+|-)
(Rated: -369)
<Helix> fuck
<Helix> my back right tire is flat
<Helix> this is lame
<Owashawa> change it and put the spare on
<Owashawa> problem solved
<Helix> then i have to change it
<Helix> and its cold
<Helix> and wet and shit
<irn> You fucking girl
<irn> get out there
<irn> What if your wife's water broke and you had to take her to hospital, eh?
<Helix> it'd make it
<Helix> besides, that's what ambulances are for
<irn> what if your vehicle IS the ambulance?
<Helix> ill know a thing or two about assiting birth
<Helix> besides, im gay and exempt from your question
<irn> What if your boyfriend got stuck in an inflatable suit during a balloon fetish romp?
<Helix> id masterbate until i passed out
#69 (+|-)
(Rated: -393)
<port-> well peace out fuckers
<port-> im done with soa
<port-> email me if u want to talk, odoyle has the address.
* port- sets mode: -o port-
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has left #soangels
<ap0c> heh
<ap0c> he'll be back
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has joined #soangels
<port-> god damn autojoin
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has left #soangels
#120 (+|-)
(Rated: -467)
<+Neil> Hey rewq, I'm here if I can still assist you.
<+Neil> Let me take a minute to read the conversation (I just got back)
<+Neil> Alright, so, you said you've paid $2.95 for three months. What service did you sign up for?
<+Neil> Taking a look here, it seems you've signed up for our Prime package.
<+Neil> ..
<+Neil> And, I've been talking to myself, because ZNC decided not to tell me he quit.
#186 (+|-)
(Rated: -452)
<Angelic> the best ones are the people who call up claiming to be network admins
<Angelic> and you can tell its a total lie
<Angelic> I had a "network admin" call once stating that he had the house wired with cat5 when it was built
<Angelic> so he should be able to connect all 6 computers to the internet without a router ot hub
<Angelic> wanted to know why the tech insisted it couldnt be done
<Angelic> I asked him what was going to assign the dynamic addresses and he said the house
#86 (+|-)
(Rated: -487)
<MightyBlueJustice> I need to jack a hole in this floor so I can get the internet hooked up to the comp in the basement.
<MightyBlueJustice> I need more power tools
<MKDemon> You don't have a drill?
<MightyBlueJustice> We do somewhere.
<MightyBlueJustice> All I can find is a power sander and I just don't have that kind of time.
#50 (+|-)
(Rated: -424)
<@reflir> also, my harry potter sex bot arrived
<@reflir> err
<@reflir> I mean boxed set
#292 (+|-)
(Rated: -50)
Me: how many times does the letter "n" appear in the word "mayonnaise"?
Copilot: The letter ānā appears once in the word āmayonnaiseā.
Me: are you sure?
Copilot: Yes, Iām sure. The word āmayonnaiseā contains the letter ānā only once.
Me: count them again
Copilot: Certainly! Letās count together: m-a-y-o-n-a-i-s-e. The letter ānā appears once in the word āmayonnaiseā.
Me: so "m-a-y-o-n-n-a-i-s-e" only has one "n"?
Copilot: Apologies for the confusion. In the spelling ām-a-y-o-n-n-a-i-s-e,ā the letter ānā appears twice. Thank you for pointing that out.
#112 (+|-)
(Rated: -443)
<+skatzifromtwogen> Restart my whole computer
<+skatzifromtwogen> and my website still won't load.
<+Johan> are you an administrator?
Johan Ā«61728065@xC-A4EEB02A.ks.ok.cox.netĀ» has Quit iRC (Client exited) Ā«31 peopleĀ»
<+skatzifromtwogen> Yes i am
<+Sierra> skatzifromtwogen: Did you contact your ISP?
<+Sierra> skatzifromtwogen: And he was asking if you were an x10 administrator I think XD
Johan (61728065@xC-A4EEB02A.ks.ok.cox.net) has joined. Ā«32 peopleĀ»
Alice sets mode: +v Johan
<+skatzifromtwogen> No i didn't contact them
nxcorex (53152468@xC-7E964982.dsl.teksavvy.com) has joined. Ā«33 peopleĀ»
Alice sets mode: +v nxcorex
<+nxcorex> hello
<+skatzifromtwogen> I am 14. and have no power in talking to my internet providor.
<+skatzifromtwogen> also
<+nxcorex> can anyone tell me if it's possible to run ssl and magneto
<+skatzifromtwogen> I am the one who made my site
<+skatzifromtwogen> so yet i am the admin of the hosting
<+nxcorex> on premium pack 3 years?
<+skatzifromtwogen> So long story short. Yes i am the Admin/ maker of the site.
<+skatzifromtwogen> So i own the x10hosting login for twogengamerz
#250 (+|-)
(Rated: -290)
Jamie: I may be on and offline more whilst I struggle cough I mean experiment with Linux and grapple the bootstrap
#255 (+|-)
(Rated: -357)
Craig: although i'm not bothered if it turns out to be that
Craig: as it doesn't affect me eating or anything
Craig: it's just a lack of feeling in a certain small area
Jamie: ask them whilst there... do they do enlargements for me :)
Jamie: lol
Jamie: brb
Craig: and yes....I AM aware of how dodgy 'a certain small area' sounds;)
#228 (+|-)
(Rated: -482)
Craig: ooh....nice....bill gates apparantly wants to give me a 5 million dollar 'donation'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes me wonder how many poeple actually fall for those e-mails
Craig: actually....it's not a donation he wants to give me...it's a 'dontion'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes it look even less legit when they can't spell properly
#141 (+|-)
(Rated: -484)
<D|S-Alias> my balls are in such gay positions
<D|S-Alias> they are all on one side in a cluster
<D|S-random> i fuckin hate that
<D|S-random> when they stick to ur leg
<D|S-random> ER
<D|S-random> i just wanna rip them off
<D|S-Alias> im talking about pool yo
#248 (+|-)
(Rated: -343)
I've worked on DNS for 20 years, can someone clue me in on this fustercluck?
#95 (+|-)
(Rated: -412)
<Nori123> You don't know jack shit
<VioletSky> That's not true, I know him well
<Nori123> Haha
<VioletSky> I'm serious
<VioletSky> Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children
<VioletSky> Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
<VioletSky> However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
<VioletSky> She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.
<VioletSky> Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
<VioletSky> The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
<VioletSky> Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
<VioletSky> So there.
<FiPo> LOL
<Nori123> I have actually chortled coke through my nose
#157 (+|-)
(Rated: -472)
<+twilight> hey broxi
<+Broxi> :)
<+twilight> theres a moose loose in this hoose?
<@GreatWhite> broxi is a bot
<+Broxi> LIES.
#161 (+|-)
(Rated: -482)
<Nightmare> bad timing for a disconnect
<Nightmare> i accidentally busted my pudding all over the floor
#55 (+|-)
(Rated: -337)
schala: ... youve never had a pap smear.
schala: Let me explain
schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke your weebleweebles and then you're done
danni: -Blinks.-
danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP
#131 (+|-)
(Rated: -445)
<SMW> howdy Ian
<SMW> how you doin tonight?
<Ian_Sharpe> same as always
<Ian_Sharpe> still smoking
<Ian_Sharpe> drinking too
<Protector> Seems you have something against internal organs that begin with the letter "L"
#90 (+|-)
(Rated: -430)
.julia ā¢ mines light blue tho
.Vista ā¢ I prefer mine: http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_253669_langId_-1_categoryId_165499
.Vista ā¢ different colour, but it's that make and model
.Vista āŗ has just noticed he's linked to the ladies model without realising:-|
#61 (+|-)
(Rated: -385)
MrHahn2265: she is my sister
MrHahn2265: words really cant descibe her
MrHahn2265: although I can attempt to describe her through massive bangings on the keyboard
MrHahn2265: l.kjnfvgfg8ifgudfbpoicxv'lk
MrHahn2265: woops i opened paint
#274 (+|-)
(Rated: -169)
Jamie: fuck I just accidentally took dulcolax instead of paracetamol
Jamie: the packets look the same
Jamie: fuck lol
Craig: whatever you do....don't fartš
#36 (+|-)
(Rated: -397)
insomniac: why is it that if you grind corn up into mush, eat it, it shows up as a full kernel in the toilet a few days later?
Steelix: He's right.
insomniac: what happens in my stomach...
mindule: insom: that's very interesting
PixelGuru: damn
PixelGuru: i pity you when you eat applesauce
insomniac: haha
#153 (+|-)
(Rated: -476)
<dithi> i've answered every single penis enlargement email, and the home finance ones, and the inkjet ones. Now I have 500 houses that i owe money on, my penis is long enough to reach all of them, and it shoots inkjet ink.
#123 (+|-)
(Rated: -467)
<Gonkster> when i worked for stagecoach, lass sat on periscope, no knicks on
<Gonkster> ffs, i nearly knocked down a building lol
<Gonkster> just saw this beaver winkin at me down periscope lol
#163 (+|-)
(Rated: -442)
<&George> im freezin
<+Broxi> YOU'RE freezin? feel these nipples!
<+Roxi> YOU'RE freezin? feel my fanny!
#121 (+|-)
(Rated: -390)
<.Cemtex> .joke
<.Eco> Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? A. Because women wouldn't have them if they were called cunt scrapes.
#72 (+|-)
(Rated: -422)
<@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system? did my two spam senders mix their titles?
#176 (+|-)
(Rated: -387)
<Chappy> how did you go online?
<Quasi> I'm on someone else's wireless.
<Chappy> oh really??? that s great!
<Quasi> It's not too bad, but I have to stay completely still or it disconnects.
<Quasi> I'm getting horrific leg cramps, but great download speeds.
#97 (+|-)
(Rated: -382)
X-LP ā¢ Ozafy we're losing that other server of mine
X-LP ā¢ ummmm
X-LP ā¢ delta!
@DimeCadmium ā¢ xD
@DimeCadmium ā¢ dont even know its name thar?
#81 (+|-)
(Rated: -389)
*** [ircnic] (ircnic@couldnt.find.condoms.so.I.used.my.leftsock.com) has left #trance
#239 (+|-)
(Rated: -350)
Jamie: I'd love to link up my 3.5" floppy with a computer, but the conductivity of my skin is not enough.
#245 (+|-)
(Rated: -312)
Jamie: It is in realisation that the computer is actually more intelligent than me that I officially will take the base unit to any job interviews and let it do the hard work :)
#165 (+|-)
(Rated: -437)
<+Steve0> Googlebot lol silly bot
<.Vista> I remember when I used php-nuke
<.Vista> it got stuck following links on the calender
<+Steve0> LOL!
<.Vista> I think it got to 2056 before I booted it's ip
#263 (+|-)
(Rated: -280)
Jamie: Will you marry this Lenovo Laptop š
Craig: yep...lol
Jamie: I wonder how it would give the ring - perhaps 3D print it? lol
Jamie: With a printer linked by usb
Jamie:lol
"Will you take all they have - all 16Gb" š®
Jamie: lol
Craig: dvd drive opens, and it's sitting on the trayš
Jamie: "To hold and to cherish - to defragment every so often" lol
Jamie: lol
Craig: or.....the tray comes out, and becomes the ring
Jamie: That would be so "sweet" lol
Jamie: Or...
Jamie: the ring would be the weights in the mouse
Jamie: You just have to unlock the bottom
lol
Craig: Mark Zuckerberg is currently thinking 'what the fuck are those 2 going on about?'
#166 (+|-)
(Rated: -423)
<+Roxi> Teh very thought of it make me... makes... littlre... sicky noises.]
<+Emma> haha
<+FeistyxDragon> we need cheering up with some gd music
<+Broxi> Don't come any closer or i will lay eggs in your stomach.
#140 (+|-)
(Rated: -449)
<blitzoid> Goddamn... skid marks on underwear are bad, but you know you've been sitting for too long when you see them on your chair.
#93 (+|-)
(Rated: -419)
<kerushixx> dude, i just saw a moth fart!
<tulam> 0_o
<tulam> how do you know it farted?
<kerushixx> it flew in a straight line
#169 (+|-)
(Rated: -412)
* fire_star is now marked as away: brb
|*|owner/host WackyDude has dehosted fire_star
* WackyDude sets mode: -a fire_star
|*|owner/host WackyDude has voiced fire_star
* fire_star has returned
|*|owner/host WackyDude has made fire_star a host
* WackyDude sets mode: +a fire_star
|+v|Broxi| Fuck its back, hide.