Quote Database

#58 (+|-) (Rated: -70)
J - The Ultimate In Experience says:
I'm sure I heard a seagull dying in the mouth of a cat one morning
Craig - In Trance We Trust says:
lol
J - The Ultimate In Experience says:
It's squawking got more out of breath
Till it was silent
Craig - In Trance We Trust says:
I was probably having an orgasm
*it

#174 (+|-) (Rated: -70)
|+p|Debi| Mine is flapping pointlessly somewhere round my ankles.
|+p|Athena| Wb Hellspawn.
|+p|Debi| thooper
|+p|Debi| Say, do you want to see a movie?
* LegendaryIRC sets mode: +h HellSpawn
|+p|Debi| i'm keeping quiet except for the odd fondle and humping

#142 (+|-) (Rated: -67)
<+Broxi> I was curious to see when you'd shut up on your own... but it's been three hours now, Vista... THREE HOURS*~%^##*%*@*£

#151 (+|-) (Rated: -65)
<Swift> I need lemonade.
<dmc2> I hate it when my sound goes blurry.
<supakoopa> i hate when my video gets loud.

#159 (+|-) (Rated: -65)
<Pr1ncess> oh sick i just sneezed and blood shot out of my crotch
<etrigan> that time again??
<Pr1ncess> hahaha
<Pr1ncess> yes
<Pr1ncess> that was a pretty fucking sick thing to say wasnt it?
<etrigan> hell yes

#170 (+|-) (Rated: -65)
<~Yuna> C[a]stle look im on top of you ^.^
<Panda> that doesn't sound weird at all
<+Inase_Moriyaku> that's what she sai--- oh wait.

#175 (+|-) (Rated: -65)
night98|away «night98@boy.from.venus» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus crazy.janus) «98 people»
TBBTNut «~tbbtnut@netadmin.TBBTNet.com» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) «97 people»
night98 «~night98@boy.from.venus» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) «96 people»
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and crazy.janus - Invincible
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and tbbt.janus - Invincible

*Can't help thinking that's like getting hit by a car and being told afterwards 'there's a car coming'*

#178 (+|-) (Rated: -65)
<Grid> Hey Psyko, if the world was gonna end in 3 minutes, what would you do?
<Psyko> I'D SCREW ANYTHING THAT MOVES!!! What would you do?
<Grid> ... ... ... I'd stand very very still. o.o;

#223 (+|-) (Rated: -65)
Craig: hmmm...nice....I like this...lol
Zac: ?
Zac: Unless you tell me what it is you like it could be anything from sex to a cat

#149 (+|-) (Rated: -64)
* Red-Dr[a]gon was kicked by Atreyu (Testies 1 2 3 [kick count:247])
Red-Dr[a]gon (Red-Dragon@Embrace.The.Fire) has joined, but is a Clone of Red-Dragon  «46 people»
Ownage sets mode: +ao Red-Dr[a]gon Red-Dr[a]gon
<Red-Dr[a]gon> is also in channels « &#Sarah`s-Office #Espanol &#support »
<Vanilla`Wafer> i read that as testicles

#150 (+|-) (Rated: -64)
Teacher asks her class for a 12 letter word, student says "masturbation" teacher says "my, that's a mouthful"  student says "no your thinking of a blow job."

#190 (+|-) (Rated: -64)
<.Vista> damn
<.Vista> both my eggdrops forgot who I am:-S
<.Vista> had to wipe their userfiles then re-identify to them
<.Vista> !8ball am I really that easily forgotten?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: ..Sure?

#139 (+|-) (Rated: -63)
<+CloPhone> Im freezing
<+Broxi> YOU'RE freezing? feel these nipples! < Broxi is a bot that occasionally responds to chat in humorous ways

#185 (+|-) (Rated: -63)
<GimpChimp> I'm going to rape it. And tell the court it lead me on with its suggestive icon-wiggling.
<GimpChimp> Just as soon as I work out the technical details of raping an Internet window.

#200 (+|-) (Rated: -63)
Zac: You scissors
Damn it. You suck!

#212 (+|-) (Rated: -63)
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Are you kidding!?
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: No
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> stupid bot
<.Ace> stupid human:-|

#222 (+|-) (Rated: -63)
Referring to peeling oranges:

Me: They need to make a machine that you can put a peeled orange into,  and it comes out unpeeled

#103 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
[6:08pm] Link «Link@linkstechblog.com» has Quit iRC (For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.)

#135 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
<Megistos> I once gave someone what amounted to a virus over IRC
<Megistos> it was a mIRC script that allowed us to remotely execute mIRC commands
<Megistos> what a fool
<Megistos> At first we just made him say stuff in channels
<Megistos> then we realised mIRC could talk to the whole system with /run
<Megistos> hence this immortal line
<Shiyiya> Heh
<Megistos> <lbal> wtf, i come back from css to find 63 calculators open
<Shiyiya> lmao

#144 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
<Crucial> whats a quick way to push ipconfig /release, ipconfig /renew to 50 or
so workstations
<Mo> cycle power to the building

#147 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
<~zomg> Fgt
<Profash> HELLO
<Profash> Dear Customer, We're facing a major abuse issue with our Canadian segment, we're trying to resolve this case directly with our uplinks, if nothing is resolved within 48hrs we will grab the data from the servers and restore you on a new Canadian segment, we do apologize for the issues caused, we'll keep you notified asap. Thank you.
<~zomg> RIP
<Eck> hope your data is lost
<Eck> bitch

#156 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
<Locke|Away> Listen, this is purely theoretical, but is it dangerous to get a cat high?
<Boko> only one way to find out o_O
<Locke|Away> Like, not making him eat it or anything, but let's say there is a cat around the smoke.
<Locke|Away> That's not going to hurt the cat or anything, right?
<Odyslep> don't think so
<Odyslep> unless it ODs
<Odyslep> prolly give it a cough too
<Locke|Away> Let's say it hasn't coughed but it keeps trying to jump on top of the TV set and it keeps missing.  
<Locke|Away> Would that sort of cat be in any trouble?

#160 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
* +SuperAndroid17 glares at Availea
* +A glares at SuperAndroid17
* +SuperAndroid17 shows his dick at A
* +A hosting companies SuperAndroid17 in return

#176 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
<Chappy> how did you go online?
<Quasi> I'm on someone else's wireless.
<Chappy> oh really??? that s great!
<Quasi> It's not too bad, but I have to stay completely still or it disconnects.
<Quasi> I'm getting horrific leg cramps, but great download speeds.

#183 (Rated: -62)
<@Andromeda> we only have like 60 dns' :P
<twink|es-> ohh i like it when you talk to me in chinese
<twink|es-> -_-
<Debi> ;)
<@Andromeda> 60 addresses
<@Andromeda> lol

#204 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
Zac: Carl Alt Del
OMFG. Ctrl
Craig: I was going to say...who's Carl?😂
Zac: Carl was my high school boyfriend lol
Stay away from that fuckin database too!!!

#218 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
Craig: yep
Craig: I'll keep everything crossed for you
Craig: hmm....actually...maybe not everything *winces*
😜
Zac: Don't cross your balls, they will turn blue. And blue balls aren't a good thing LOL
Zac: OMG stop reading my mind 😕
Craig: lol

#224 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
Zac: That is nice. Oh I love my wireless moose lol
Zac: mouse actually not fucking moose

#225 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
Zac: Can you configure it to have sex with the laptop? That would keep your laptop happy 🙂 LOL AND NO QUOTE SYSTEM LOL

*yes quote system I think*

#59 (+|-) (Rated: -61)
WALLOP shadow:  $ my throat is killing me.. anyone got tips how to reduce the pain?
WALLOP shadow:  $ no, it's not caused by swallowing semen
WALLOP shadow:  $ I don't think swallowing semen would help either
WALLOP shadow:  $ I see.. so honey + lemon + warm milk/water would help
WALLOP shadow:  $ no, I'm not going to mix up any semen with that
WALLOP shadow:  $ I wonder what whiskey + warm milk would taste like
WALLOP shadow:  $ No, I don't think it would taste like semen
WALLOP shadow:  $ FINE! I'll try the semen, so shut up already!

#164 (+|-) (Rated: -61)
<.Vista> I don't bugger servers anymore....they just bugger themselves now:-|
<.Vista> !8ball isn't that right Ace?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Of course!

#215 (Rated: -61)
Darkpsy__ (~ident@71.60.142.24) has joined, but is a Clone of Guest9205  «6 people»
Guest9205 «~ident@71.60.142.24» has Quit iRC (Connection reset by peer) «5 people»
<Vista> lol....it's getting longer O_O

#78 (+|-) (Rated: -60)
<Commander> whoa that's not good
<Commander> the end of my mobile plug (plugged into the USB port on my PC) was sitting in the side of a potplant IN WATER
<Commander> i pulled it out and it said "new usb device found"
<Commander> =/
<Commander> dunno how long it's been sitting there for
<CompHobbyist> new USB device found: potted plant v.001
<CompHobbyist> power usage for this device: -10W

#99 (+|-) (Rated: -60)
* %iso is eating a helicopter
<%iso> *hamburger
<+cezz> lol
<+cezz> yummy helicoper
<+cezz> what is the nicest bit? I bet it is the propellers
<%iso> The skids
<%iso> They're always nice and cripsy
<+cezz> Ahhh but they can get a bit dirty from time to rime

#137 (+|-) (Rated: -60)
<blaxthos> so tonight i got roped into going to some evangelical church christmas dinner theatre
<blaxthos> "oh christmas, carol!"
<cue> evangelicals are morons
<blaxthos> it was absolutely godawful
<blaxthos> until the last musical number, where the main character realized she has a hole in her heart
<blaxthos> and sang a song entitled "i'm going to fill my hole with jesus"

#172 (+|-) (Rated: -60)
* %Angie streaks
<+Red-Dragon> >.>
<Vista> stupid thing doesn't seem to like static ip configs
* +Red-Dragon looks
* %Angie streaks by again
<%Angie> :p
* +Red-Dragon watches again
* +Tidus takes a vid
<%Angie> :O
<%Angie> that'll be 3 payments of 39.99 please
<+Sess> lol
<+Tidus> plus s&h?
<%Angie> no
<%Angie> free S&H
<+Red-Dragon> not for me i got other payment methods :P
<+Tidus> shweet
<%Angie> you get freebies :p videos i charge for hah
* Vista gets on his bike to chase Angie, but then realizes he's too out of shape, falls off and lays on the ground panting:-|
<%Angie> lmfao
* %Angie hands Vista albuterol
<+Red-Dragon> PDA!

#187 (+|-) (Rated: -60)
<Baby-d> I set up a shoutcast last night while I was pretty wasted, it's fuckin tight though
<SilverJag> I guess
<Baby-d> you guess!?!
<Baby-d> show some more enthusiasim!
<Baby-d> :)
<SilverJag> I cant I have diahreaa

#220 (+|-) (Rated: -60)
<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples frightens me

#34 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<.ғıяέkαтт> you should see it you take two big dongs that are used to
                  rough housing with each other and you throw a little man into
                  that mix,.... pure Mayhem and Havoc!!

#43 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
Original Install Date:     27/07/2009, 22:36:19
System Up Time:            32 Days, 16 Hours, 33 Minutes, 52 Seconds

Note: this was originally posted on the 29th of july 2009 for anyone that doesn't get what's odd about that uptime.

#82 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
—I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— Netsplit Detected. «irc.right.asscheek irc.left.asscheek» [6:56am]

#126 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<+AnImAtIoN> could be worse
<~SpiderSheepy> gah
<+AnImAtIoN> i could be like this
<+AnImAtIoN> Laught Out Loud
<~SpiderSheepy> can i ban him?
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> LAUGH*
<+Broxi> :O
<~SpiderSheepy> making me squint
<+Lefteris/Chat> xaaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxax
<+AnImAtIoN> read properly then
<~FuzzyFox> Please
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> OMG i thought you said it's making me squirt
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> i was like WHAT?
<+AnImAtIoN> rofl
<~FuzzyFox> LOL
<~SpiderSheepy> sick lol
<+AnImAtIoN> yah mon
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> was about to ask if i could watch :/

#131 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<SMW> howdy Ian
<SMW> how you doin tonight?
<Ian_Sharpe> same as always
<Ian_Sharpe> still smoking
<Ian_Sharpe> drinking too
<Protector> Seems you have something against internal organs that begin with the letter "L"

#138 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<@Awesome> i just opened the back door to let people out and a frikkin midget flew right into my gob as i breathed in
<@Awesome> gaaaaak
<+_I_LOVE_YOU_> midget butties
<+Helzz> Midget?
<+imy1411>    midget?   
<+Should_trumps_have_lumps> your sucking off midgets?
<+Helzz> As in dwarf
moonshadow «~moonshado@WackyChat-526E4CE8.range86-179.btcentralplus.com» has Quit iRC (Laterz Wacky People :) Dont Forget To Checkout www.FuzzyHosts.com) «62 people»
WackyUser5291 (~lightIRC@A3912E5A.8F744AE9.2D39D232.IP) has joined. «63 people»
The-Shrink sets mode: +v WackyUser5291
<+_I_LOVE_YOU_> i didnt know dwarfs cud fly
<+imy1411>    bwhahahahha   
<@Awesome> midgey*
<+WackyUser5291> ello
<~SpiderSheepy> !voice Loony
The-Shrink sets mode: +v Loony
<@Awesome> a bloody fly thing
<@Awesome> you know ?
<+imy1411>    awesome     
<+Should_trumps_have_lumps> a tiny pilot?
<+CloPhone> Lol
<+imy1411>    are you women   
<~SpiderSheepy> lmao

#157 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<+twilight> hey broxi
<+Broxi> :)
<+twilight> theres a moose loose in this hoose?
<@GreatWhite> broxi is a bot
<+Broxi> LIES.

#161 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<Nightmare> bad timing for a disconnect
<Nightmare> i accidentally busted my pudding all over the floor

#188 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I said "dpkg dash
      dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke bottle into
      the recycling bin.

#203 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
Zac: Which is good cause I need to eat. So gonna cook fish fuckers
Zac: Damn it fingers not fuckers

#211 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<Vista> I forgot you were logged into it
<Vista> firewall might have got you
<Vista> one sex
<Vista> *sec

#93 (+|-) (Rated: -58)
<kerushixx> dude, i just saw a moth fart!
<tulam> 0_o
<tulam> how do you know it farted?
<kerushixx> it flew in a straight line