Quote Database

#171 (+|-) (Rated: -35)
(%[E]lVirus) I find vasoline is a terrible lube - everytime I try to wash it off , I get aroused again

#126 (+|-) (Rated: -30)
<+AnImAtIoN> could be worse
<~SpiderSheepy> gah
<+AnImAtIoN> i could be like this
<+AnImAtIoN> Laught Out Loud
<~SpiderSheepy> can i ban him?
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> LAUGH*
<+Broxi> :O
<~SpiderSheepy> making me squint
<+Lefteris/Chat> xaaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxax
<+AnImAtIoN> read properly then
<~FuzzyFox> Please
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> OMG i thought you said it's making me squirt
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> i was like WHAT?
<+AnImAtIoN> rofl
<~FuzzyFox> LOL
<~SpiderSheepy> sick lol
<+AnImAtIoN> yah mon
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> was about to ask if i could watch :/

#147 (+|-) (Rated: -34)
<~zomg> Fgt
<Profash> HELLO
<Profash> Dear Customer, We're facing a major abuse issue with our Canadian segment, we're trying to resolve this case directly with our uplinks, if nothing is resolved within 48hrs we will grab the data from the servers and restore you on a new Canadian segment, we do apologize for the issues caused, we'll keep you notified asap. Thank you.
<~zomg> RIP
<Eck> hope your data is lost
<Eck> bitch

#35 (+|-) (Rated: -23)
»julez« : she coulda read em thru the fabric
   Freebird : were you leakin?
ÐïvëÐèèpër : :-O
  »julez« : :-|
ÐïvëÐèèpër : brb
Vista® looks up leaking pussy on google images and finds a picture of a wet cat
  »julez« : :-O
ÐïvëÐèèpër : back
   »julez« : wb
ÐïvëÐèèpër : howdy vista   wondered if you were actually here
ÐïvëÐèèpër : ty Darin  
Vista® : ah....found one.....had to turn safesearch off
ÐïvëÐèèpër : lmao

#66 (+|-) (Rated: -30)
<Kat> I just got an email from Horny Orgy Babes.
<Kat> oh gee... I wonder what it's about
<kmds> rhinocerous calves studying organic chemistry?

#177 (+|-) (Rated: -33)
<justie> i did something stupid
<justie> chmod -x chmod
<justie> anyone knows how to fix it?

#43 (+|-) (Rated: -32)
Original Install Date:     27/07/2009, 22:36:19
System Up Time:            32 Days, 16 Hours, 33 Minutes, 52 Seconds

Note: this was originally posted on the 29th of july 2009 for anyone that doesn't get what's odd about that uptime.

#223 (+|-) (Rated: -31)
Craig: hmmm...nice....I like this...lol
Zac: ?
Zac: Unless you tell me what it is you like it could be anything from sex to a cat

#174 (+|-) (Rated: -31)
|+p|Debi| Mine is flapping pointlessly somewhere round my ankles.
|+p|Athena| Wb Hellspawn.
|+p|Debi| thooper
|+p|Debi| Say, do you want to see a movie?
* LegendaryIRC sets mode: +h HellSpawn
|+p|Debi| i'm keeping quiet except for the odd fondle and humping

#220 (+|-) (Rated: -34)
<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples frightens me

#204 (+|-) (Rated: -33)
Zac: Carl Alt Del
OMFG. Ctrl
Craig: I was going to say...who's Carl?😂
Zac: Carl was my high school boyfriend lol
Stay away from that fuckin database too!!!

#61 (+|-) (Rated: -27)
MrHahn2265: she is my sister
MrHahn2265: words really cant descibe her
MrHahn2265: although I can attempt to describe her through massive bangings on the keyboard
MrHahn2265: l.kjnfvgfg8ifgudfbpoicxv'lk
MrHahn2265: woops i opened paint

#141 (+|-) (Rated: -26)
<D|S-Alias> my balls are in such gay positions
<D|S-Alias> they are all on one side in a cluster
<D|S-random> i fuckin hate that
<D|S-random> when they stick to ur leg
<D|S-random> ER
<D|S-random> i just wanna rip them off
<D|S-Alias> im talking about pool yo

#142 (+|-) (Rated: -34)
<+Broxi> I was curious to see when you'd shut up on your own... but it's been three hours now, Vista... THREE HOURS*~%^##*%*@*£

#202 (+|-) (Rated: -34)
Zac: Good it’s working already Bahama
Bahaha*

#150 (+|-) (Rated: -33)
Teacher asks her class for a 12 letter word, student says "masturbation" teacher says "my, that's a mouthful"  student says "no your thinking of a blow job."

#83 (+|-) (Rated: -33)
<+HoCkster> I got an official warning from my bank
<+HoCkster> I usually pay my rent as "Columbian Drug Money", they never objected
<+HoCkster> but then I forgot my mates cell phone number,
<+HoCkster> we were both doing internet banking at the same time right
<@Lilzvixen> welcome to my room
<+HoCkster> so I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your number"
<+HoCkster> and we start having this whole conversation
<+HoCkster> it was like webchat
<+HoCkster> so like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up and were like
<+HoCkster> "have you thought of getting MSN?"

#140 (+|-) (Rated: -28)
<blitzoid> Goddamn... skid marks on underwear are bad, but you know you've been sitting for too long when you see them on your chair.

#214 (+|-) (Rated: -23)
<.Vista> so enabling the firewall just changes the route on the switch to send it fm thereo the firewall
<.Vista> and damn that sentence really got messed up:-|
<.Vista> I think my insert key got pressed somehow
<.Vista> which is odd as this laptop doesn't appear to have an insert key
<.Vista> ah...it does....just noticed it
<.Vista> insert was disabled

#133 (+|-) (Rated: -36)
<.Vista> agh.....fucking craneflies:@
<.Vista> pissing me off now
<DigitalEquinox> I must be getting tired, I thought that said cornflakes, I had to read it twice. :/

#94 (+|-) (Rated: -33)
<Adun|Oblivion> "The ejaculation of a dolphin carries so much force with it, that it could decapitate you."
<ChaosSmurf> You know
<ChaosSmurf> This is why Dolphins are ALWAYS happy
<ChaosSmurf> They're just sitting there going "Yeah, bitches, I can decapitate you with my sperm"

#193 (+|-) (Rated: -27)
<@Yenkaz> "You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons."
<@Yenkaz> i mean.. wtf
<@Yenkaz> I'd admire anyone capable of using itunes to produce any weapon of mass destruction

#67 (+|-) (Rated: -31)
<Skream> Anyone got an IDE controller I can borrow?
<Skream> Mine just caught fire.

#198 (+|-) (Rated: -31)
wtf....that didn't look as though I spelt housing right. I asked my amazon echo to spell it...it gave me the spelling of helsinki instead:-| Now it's telling me how to spell england:-S stupid deaf alexa:-p

#212 (+|-) (Rated: -40)
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Are you kidding!?
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: No
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> stupid bot
<.Ace> stupid human:-|

#199 (+|-) (Rated: -28)
Zaccy Drayson: Don't you fuck with my backend

#71 (+|-) (Rated: -33)
<SypaNick> You get fisher price sql with MS
<SypaNick> My first SQL server.

#173 (+|-) (Rated: -30)
<+Trixie> Say, you're full of organs aren't you? and you wouldn't "notice" if you were missing a few?

#120 (+|-) (Rated: -23)
<+Neil> Hey rewq, I'm here if I can still assist you.
<+Neil> Let me take a minute to read the conversation (I just got back)
<+Neil> Alright, so, you said you've paid $2.95 for three months. What service did you sign up for?
<+Neil> Taking a look here, it seems you've signed up for our Prime package.
<+Neil> ..
<+Neil> And, I've been talking to myself, because ZNC decided not to tell me he quit.

#104 (+|-) (Rated: -24)
<~Availea> WTF?
<~Availea> Did a cat walk across your bf?
<~Availea> fb*
<~Availea> kb*
<~Availea> OMFG

#103 (+|-) (Rated: -32)
[6:08pm] Link «Link@linkstechblog.com» has Quit iRC (For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.)

#129 (+|-) (Rated: -31)
* +BabyCheetah throws a council brick at Jue :)
* +Jue throws a privately owned one back

#146 (+|-) (Rated: -35)
<+x_LiL_Sophie_x> Broxi are you horny?
<+Broxi> Yes and i wont stop till my vagina bounces off!

#143 (+|-) (Rated: -33)

* Vista mental note: don't EVER look up 'blue waffle' again:-|
<AzTech-Bot> lulz
<AzTech-Bot> omg
<AzTech-Bot> lulz
<AzTech-Bot> my sides hurt so bad
<Vista> it wasn't so much that....it was the other images on the site I found the image on:-S

#151 (+|-) (Rated: -34)
<Swift> I need lemonade.
<dmc2> I hate it when my sound goes blurry.
<supakoopa> i hate when my video gets loud.

#72 (+|-) (Rated: -35)
<@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system? did my two spam senders mix their titles?

#207 (+|-) (Rated: -30)
Zac: You can office off now also

#228 (+|-) (Rated: -37)
Craig: ooh....nice....bill gates apparantly wants to give me a 5 million dollar 'donation'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes me wonder how many poeple actually fall for those e-mails
Craig: actually....it's not a donation he wants to give me...it's a 'dontion'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes it look even less legit when they can't spell properly

#70 (+|-) (Rated: -27)
<Mog> Anyone else having extreme AIM problems?
<Seifer> Nope.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Yeah. I can't seem to fuckin' pee in the bowl today. >:
<rabid_si[FFX]> It's all up the fuckin' walls.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Er...
<rabid_si[FFX]> Oh.
<Mog> ...
<Seifer> Lol.
<rabid_si[FFX]> You mean AOL Instant Messenger.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Right...
* rabid_si[FFX] whistles.

#218 (+|-) (Rated: -38)
Craig: yep
Craig: I'll keep everything crossed for you
Craig: hmm....actually...maybe not everything *winces*
😜
Zac: Don't cross your balls, they will turn blue. And blue balls aren't a good thing LOL
Zac: OMG stop reading my mind 😕
Craig: lol

#64 (+|-) (Rated: -29)
<@anorexicpoodle> so the cable modem is plugged directly into your comp
<KooGooShii> lemme check
<KooGooShii> yup
<KooGooShii> i just unhooked it and checked
<FinalLancer> /notice me if you get it up, imma gonna be doing stuffs
<KooGooShii> yet im still on the internet
<KooGooShii> isnt that weird
<@anorexicpoodle> uhh
<@anorexicpoodle> what port did you unhook
<KooGooShii> lets see how long i can go without my modem plugged in before i get disconnected!
KooGooShii «~aliasmpu@24.114.112.97» has Quit iRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

#136 (+|-) (Rated: -29)
<Griffin> how are you Anrdi?
<andri> where are you came from?
<Griffin> usa
<Griffin> you?
<andri> are you sure?
<andri> i'm indonesian
<~Vista> nope....still haven't bothered fixing that menu
<andri> are ypu chick?
<andri> you
<Griffin> no im man
<andri> i'm looking for a chick man hahaha
andri (novaldyand@623B88FE.E8F009AA.2B18E8FB.IP) has parted. «12 people»
<~Vista> wtf???:-S

#137 (+|-) (Rated: -32)
<blaxthos> so tonight i got roped into going to some evangelical church christmas dinner theatre
<blaxthos> "oh christmas, carol!"
<cue> evangelicals are morons
<blaxthos> it was absolutely godawful
<blaxthos> until the last musical number, where the main character realized she has a hole in her heart
<blaxthos> and sang a song entitled "i'm going to fill my hole with jesus"

#89 (+|-) (Rated: -33)
*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah.  Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'

#226 (+|-) (Rated: -28)
<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

#156 (+|-) (Rated: -30)
<Locke|Away> Listen, this is purely theoretical, but is it dangerous to get a cat high?
<Boko> only one way to find out o_O
<Locke|Away> Like, not making him eat it or anything, but let's say there is a cat around the smoke.
<Locke|Away> That's not going to hurt the cat or anything, right?
<Odyslep> don't think so
<Odyslep> unless it ODs
<Odyslep> prolly give it a cough too
<Locke|Away> Let's say it hasn't coughed but it keeps trying to jump on top of the TV set and it keeps missing.  
<Locke|Away> Would that sort of cat be in any trouble?

#102 (+|-) (Rated: -20)
Simon Purser says
i've tried to make it a basst loadingic theme f
oops
Craig Turner says
lmao
Simon Purser says
basic theme fast loading

#172 (+|-) (Rated: -29)
* %Angie streaks
<+Red-Dragon> >.>
<Vista> stupid thing doesn't seem to like static ip configs
* +Red-Dragon looks
* %Angie streaks by again
<%Angie> :p
* +Red-Dragon watches again
* +Tidus takes a vid
<%Angie> :O
<%Angie> that'll be 3 payments of 39.99 please
<+Sess> lol
<+Tidus> plus s&h?
<%Angie> no
<%Angie> free S&H
<+Red-Dragon> not for me i got other payment methods :P
<+Tidus> shweet
<%Angie> you get freebies :p videos i charge for hah
* Vista gets on his bike to chase Angie, but then realizes he's too out of shape, falls off and lays on the ground panting:-|
<%Angie> lmfao
* %Angie hands Vista albuterol
<+Red-Dragon> PDA!

#209 (+|-) (Rated: -32)
Zac: Not good for me cause you won’t send it to me now Lollipop
Zac: Fuck LOL 😂

#57 (+|-) (Rated: -27)
<RDrR> FUCK FUCK FUCK
<RDrR> i was tryin to do that spray whippd cream snorting thing
<RDrR> i filled my entire fukin nasal cavity with whipped cream
<RDrR> fuck its bleedin