ChatNSN Quotes

#60 (+|-) (Rated: -321)
<Shift_Wreck> OMG guys you gotta hear this
<Shift_Wreck> So i goes to the grocery store to pick up smokes and a frozen pizza.
<Shift_Wreck> I get my things and head to the 12 items or less line.
<Shift_Wreck> i get in line just as the guy in front of me is setting his items down on the conveyor belt thing
<Shift_Wreck> his items were: get this
<Shift_Wreck> a box of condoms, a medium sized cucumber, a tub of margarine and a 12 pack of beer
<Shift_Wreck> I imediatly am thinking "lolwut?"
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> well i couldnt help but make that reverse nasal snort sound you make when your trying to keep from laughing.
<Shift_Wreck> oops
<Shift_Wreck> the guy and cashere must have heard it because they both turn to look at me
<Shift_Wreck> im grinning from ear to ear now and my eyes are darting from the guys face and the items he had on the belt
<Shift_Wreck> i catch the casheirs eye and i look at her and shes looking at me like 0_0 and shaking her head "no dont!"
<Shift_Wreck> this all was a few seconds but it felt like an eternity...
<Shift_Wreck> well i finaly says to myself: "shift, youve gone this far, may as well say something"
<Shift_Wreck> so i say to the guy (still with this huge grin) "going to a party?"
<Shift_Wreck> The girl just loses it and starts laughing
<Shift_Wreck> the guy just scowls at me
<Shift_Wreck> looks to the girl
<Shift_Wreck> and walks away leaving his items there at the checkout
<Shift_Wreck> it was kinda awkward
<Shift_Wreck> pizzas good though

#254 (+|-) (Rated: -163)
Craig: probably won't look quite as good as the one I had, but it's the taste that matters....not the looks

#89 (+|-) (Rated: -305)
*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah. Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'

#75 (+|-) (Rated: -331)
<joesboxd3b> it is just ironic.... you can't get the cvs version of cvs unless you get the older version of cvs then cvs to the cvs server to get the latest cvs version of cvs

#255 (+|-) (Rated: -213)
Craig: although i'm not bothered if it turns out to be that
Craig: as it doesn't affect me eating or anything
Craig: it's just a lack of feeling in a certain small area
Jamie: ask them whilst there... do they do enlargements for me :)
Jamie: lol
Jamie: brb
Craig: and yes....I AM aware of how dodgy 'a certain small area' sounds;)

#253 (+|-) (Rated: -172)
Lol... The ultimate dark mode... Being put under anaesthetic 😂

#266 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
Jamie: T last lol
Jamie: a
Jamie: lol
Jamie: I'm saluvotatong

#244 (+|-) (Rated: -214)
Craig: Hopefully this will work
Craig: Yeast... it worked
Craig: Well....almost.. lol
Craig: that was meant to be 'yay'

#263 (+|-) (Rated: -95)
Jamie: Will you marry this Lenovo Laptop 😀
Craig: yep...lol
Jamie: I wonder how it would give the ring - perhaps 3D print it? lol
Jamie: With a printer linked by usb
Jamie:lol
"Will you take all they have - all 16Gb" 😮
Jamie: lol
Craig: dvd drive opens, and it's sitting on the tray😂
Jamie: "To hold and to cherish - to defragment every so often" lol
Jamie: lol
Craig: or.....the tray comes out, and becomes the ring
Jamie: That would be so "sweet" lol
Jamie: Or...
Jamie: the ring would be the weights in the mouse
Jamie: You just have to unlock the bottom
lol
Craig: Mark Zuckerberg is currently thinking 'what the fuck are those 2 going on about?'

#148 (Rated: -276)
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate flash?
<+Broxi> more lubricant
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate java?
<+Broxi> give it a push
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate irc?
<+Broxi> drink volvic first, then try
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate mirc?
<+Broxi> Industrial light and magic.
<+forever_delayed> Broxi how do you rate wackychat?
<+Broxi> using the power of greyskull
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate telnet?
<+Broxi> Try twisting.

#183 (Rated: -322)
<@Andromeda> we only have like 60 dns' :P
<twink|es-> ohh i like it when you talk to me in chinese
<twink|es-> -_-
<Debi> ;)
<@Andromeda> 60 addresses
<@Andromeda> lol

#79 (+|-) (Rated: -310)
<LabMonkey> ok riddle me this
<LabMonkey> I open the pack of cigarettes
<LabMonkey> pull out one
<LabMonkey> pick up my lighter
<LabMonkey> put the cigarette back in the pack
<LabMonkey> then try to light my nose...
<LabMonkey> What the fuck, over.

#147 (+|-) (Rated: -334)
<~zomg> Fgt
<Profash> HELLO
<Profash> Dear Customer, We're facing a major abuse issue with our Canadian segment, we're trying to resolve this case directly with our uplinks, if nothing is resolved within 48hrs we will grab the data from the servers and restore you on a new Canadian segment, we do apologize for the issues caused, we'll keep you notified asap. Thank you.
<~zomg> RIP
<Eck> hope your data is lost
<Eck> bitch

#256 (+|-) (Rated: -176)
I was wondering if PCs have feelings...
Looking for the clues in the big finger sticking up at me emoticon...

#193 (+|-) (Rated: -293)
<@Yenkaz> "You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons."
<@Yenkaz> i mean.. wtf
<@Yenkaz> I'd admire anyone capable of using itunes to produce any weapon of mass destruction

#109 (+|-) (Rated: -313)
<+sb> @ Anna plz tell me who is besides
<+Anna> I'd strongly advise against buggering ANY staffmember through email about the script. Make a thread in the forums and they *might* answer eventually
<+sb> uhooooooo
<+sb> i found it
<+sb> http://code.google.com/p/eris-flash-irc-client/
<+sb> check and tell me
<+sb> how to use it
<+Anna> I don't KNOW what script was setup here, and I was NOT part of setting it up, so I would have no clue on that
<+Anna> there's hopefully instructions included
<+barefoot> Anna ... you might not want to use "buggering" in the future
<+Anna> ok
<+Sierra> Oh god, nice typo

#70 (+|-) (Rated: -326)
<Mog> Anyone else having extreme AIM problems?
<Seifer> Nope.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Yeah. I can't seem to fuckin' pee in the bowl today. >:
<rabid_si[FFX]> It's all up the fuckin' walls.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Er...
<rabid_si[FFX]> Oh.
<Mog> ...
<Seifer> Lol.
<rabid_si[FFX]> You mean AOL Instant Messenger.
<rabid_si[FFX]> Right...
* rabid_si[FFX] whistles.

#76 (+|-) (Rated: -293)
<datacide> i just wanted to type shutdown -r now
<datacide> and what i typed was stfu -r now
<datacide> and for a moment...it looked as though the damn machine was gonna do soemthing
<datacide> like a....stfu hidden binary

#36 (+|-) (Rated: -265)
insomniac: why is it that if you grind corn up into mush, eat it, it shows up as a full kernel in the toilet a few days later?
Steelix: He's right.
insomniac: what happens in my stomach...
mindule: insom: that's very interesting
PixelGuru: damn
PixelGuru: i pity you when you eat applesauce
insomniac: haha

#246 (+|-) (Rated: -206)
Jamie: lol nice - next time you order something - buy a taser too - so you can zap the delivery driver and take the remaining stock
"Jamie - promoting ethics in society"

#240 (+|-) (Rated: -227)
Jamie: I hope they don't link up the 3.5" floppy lol. There will be no response
Jamie: Controller is knackered

#125 (+|-) (Rated: -288)
<KaiserPanda> spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can
<KaiserPanda> clings to walls, licks his balls
<KaiserPanda> but not at the same time or else he faaaaalls!

#114 (+|-) (Rated: -296)
Angie` «Angie@IRC-Operator» has Quit iRC (Connection reset by peer) «31 people»
Angie` (Angie@AbyssNet-B20CB6DA.imctv.dynamic.mis.net) has joined. «32 people»
TheGame sets mode: +o Angie`
<@Angie`> IM GOING TO SLING THIS PEICE OF SHIT
<@Angie`> AGAINST A FUCKING WALL
<@Angie`> god fucking damn
ShitzNGiggles (biggy@AbyssNet-4C0706C2.lnk.telstra.net) has joined. «33 people»
<~geekgirl> rofl
<~geekgirl> whats wrong
<+DragonBlood> lmao
<@Angie`> stupid fucking peice of shit laptop makes me so fucking mad
<@Angie`> it puts itself to fucking sleep
<@Angie`> cause something is broken or not clipped right because i threw it
<@Angie`> a few times
<@Angie`> at a wall

#34 (+|-) (Rated: -316)
<.ғıяέkαтт> you should see it you take two big dongs that are used to
rough housing with each other and you throw a little man into
that mix,.... pure Mayhem and Havoc!!

#106 (Rated: -307)
Anne (34171613@xC-3088C7E4.as13285.net) has joined. «36 people»
Alice sets mode: +v Anne
<+Anne> hi
<+henk506673> hi
<+Anne> Hex are you there?

*Another one talking to a bot*

#149 (+|-) (Rated: -309)
* Red-Dr[a]gon was kicked by Atreyu (Testies 1 2 3 [kick count:247])
Red-Dr[a]gon (Red-Dragon@Embrace.The.Fire) has joined, but is a Clone of Red-Dragon «46 people»
Ownage sets mode: +ao Red-Dr[a]gon Red-Dr[a]gon
<Red-Dr[a]gon> is also in channels « &#Sarah`s-Office #Espanol &#support »
<Vanilla`Wafer> i read that as testicles

#226 (+|-) (Rated: -332)
<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

#99 (+|-) (Rated: -303)
* %iso is eating a helicopter
<%iso> *hamburger
<+cezz> lol
<+cezz> yummy helicoper
<+cezz> what is the nicest bit? I bet it is the propellers
<%iso> The skids
<%iso> They're always nice and cripsy
<+cezz> Ahhh but they can get a bit dirty from time to rime

#67 (+|-) (Rated: -327)
<Skream> Anyone got an IDE controller I can borrow?
<Skream> Mine just caught fire.

#72 (Rated: -314)
<@[S]W|Supey|Around> what the fcuk? a DVD enlargement system? did my two spam senders mix their titles?

#94 (Rated: -275)
<Adun|Oblivion> "The ejaculation of a dolphin carries so much force with it, that it could decapitate you."
<ChaosSmurf> You know
<ChaosSmurf> This is why Dolphins are ALWAYS happy
<ChaosSmurf> They're just sitting there going "Yeah, bitches, I can decapitate you with my sperm"

#43 (+|-) (Rated: -348)
Original Install Date: 27/07/2009, 22:36:19
System Up Time: 32 Days, 16 Hours, 33 Minutes, 52 Seconds

Note: this was originally posted on the 29th of july 2009 for anyone that doesn't get what's odd about that uptime.

#237 (+|-) (Rated: -195)
<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko

#166 (+|-) (Rated: -315)
<+Roxi> Teh very thought of it make me... makes... littlre... sicky noises.]
<+Emma> haha
<+FeistyxDragon> we need cheering up with some gd music
<+Broxi> Don't come any closer or i will lay eggs in your stomach.

#119 (+|-) (Rated: -280)
<+plat_> "sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587GB in about 3 seconds"

#228 (+|-) (Rated: -324)
Craig: ooh....nice....bill gates apparantly wants to give me a 5 million dollar 'donation'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes me wonder how many poeple actually fall for those e-mails
Craig: actually....it's not a donation he wants to give me...it's a 'dontion'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes it look even less legit when they can't spell properly

#40 (+|-) (Rated: -290)
<erno> hm. I've lost a machine.. literally _lost_. it responds to ping, it works completely, I just can't figure out where in my apartment it is.

#212 (+|-) (Rated: -269)
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Are you kidding!?
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: No
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> stupid bot
<.Ace> stupid human:-|

#57 (+|-) (Rated: -309)
<RDrR> FUCK FUCK FUCK
<RDrR> i was tryin to do that spray whippd cream snorting thing
<RDrR> i filled my entire fukin nasal cavity with whipped cream
<RDrR> fuck its bleedin

#47 (Rated: -300)
[16:35] *** Quits: Ser_Olmy_ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Rawr (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: natm (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: alien8 (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: christel (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: SNAFU` (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: metty (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Alasdair (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: }Night{ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: andyd_ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: sladen (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Noodles (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: data[moo] (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: cpufreak (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Dougie (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Radix (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
...
[17:24] *** Quits: huggie (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: kurai (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: maxeh (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: Weety (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: metty (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: huggie (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: kurai (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: maxeh (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: Weety (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: data[moo] (*.DE *.us.ircnet.net)
...
[19:39] *** Quits: data[moo] (hub1.us.ircnet.net irc1.us.ircnet.net)
...
[20:35] *** Quits: cpufreak (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: metty (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: huggie (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: kurai (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: maxeh (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: Weety (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:39] <data[moo]> ircnet in the wash today or summit?
[20:39] <data[moo]> seems to be shrinking a bit

Quote Database