Quote Database

#73 (+|-) (Rated: -227)
(lawngrl): im gonna insert my ipod in my vagina tonight and go to sleep i love it so much
(Fire_on_High): I'm quite sure that'll void your warranty

#158 (+|-) (Rated: -225)
<Cheetah> heh, someone else who was on my box didn't like my lack of bitchx ...
<sig11> heh?
<Cheetah> bitchx
<Cheetah> BitchX
<Cheetah> for fucks..
<Cheetah> (from .bash_history)
<Cheetah> who actually types things like for fucks.. into their shell?

#78 (+|-) (Rated: -265)
<Commander> whoa that's not good
<Commander> the end of my mobile plug (plugged into the USB port on my PC) was sitting in the side of a potplant IN WATER
<Commander> i pulled it out and it said "new usb device found"
<Commander> =/
<Commander> dunno how long it's been sitting there for
<CompHobbyist> new USB device found: potted plant v.001
<CompHobbyist> power usage for this device: -10W

#190 (+|-) (Rated: -250)
<.Vista> damn
<.Vista> both my eggdrops forgot who I am:-S
<.Vista> had to wipe their userfiles then re-identify to them
<.Vista> !8ball am I really that easily forgotten?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: ..Sure?

#129 (+|-) (Rated: -248)
* +BabyCheetah throws a council brick at Jue :)
* +Jue throws a privately owned one back

#100 (+|-) (Rated: -254)
[Modnar] 3y3 0wnz j00
[TMBG37] n0 j00 d0n7
[Modnar] dude, i've got the inv0ice right here
  

#38 (+|-) (Rated: -245)
chrismat: Oki offtopic question. If a laptop bluescreens during first install, and then when you are using it what is the cause?
DBuzz: windows

#239 (+|-) (Rated: -190)
Jamie: I'd love to link up my 3.5" floppy with a computer, but the conductivity of my skin is not enough.

#218 (+|-) (Rated: -252)
Craig: yep
Craig: I'll keep everything crossed for you
Craig: hmm....actually...maybe not everything *winces*
😜
Zac: Don't cross your balls, they will turn blue. And blue balls aren't a good thing LOL
Zac: OMG stop reading my mind 😕
Craig: lol

#247 (+|-) (Rated: -126)
I was thinking about making something good for dinner, so I asked the computer...
It was a few moments later that I realised the computer doesn't know how to cook :)

#210 (+|-) (Rated: -216)
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?

#83 (+|-) (Rated: -223)
<+HoCkster> I got an official warning from my bank
<+HoCkster> I usually pay my rent as "Columbian Drug Money", they never objected
<+HoCkster> but then I forgot my mates cell phone number,
<+HoCkster> we were both doing internet banking at the same time right
<@Lilzvixen> welcome to my room
<+HoCkster> so I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your number"
<+HoCkster> and we start having this whole conversation
<+HoCkster> it was like webchat
<+HoCkster> so like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up and were like
<+HoCkster> "have you thought of getting MSN?"

#261 (+|-) (Rated: -8)
Jamie Robinson: toad in the road
Jamie Robinson: autocorrect 😂
Craig Turner: Nope...a roast....but not road in the hole
Jamie Robinson: lol
Craig Turner: Fuck
Jamie Robinson: lol
Jamie Robinson: wtf lol
Craig Turner: *toad....lol🤣
Jamie Robinson: fuck the toad?
Jamie Robinson: lol
Jamie Robinson: or the road 😱
Jamie Robinson: it'll explode lol
Jamie Robinson: that rhymes with toad 😉
Craig Turner: 🤣
Jamie Robinson: I do believe that's the most abstract chat.. I've ever done lol
Craig Turner: Lmao🤣

#148 (+|-) (Rated: -222)
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate flash?
<+Broxi> more lubricant
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate java?
<+Broxi> give it a push
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate irc?
<+Broxi> drink volvic first, then try
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate mirc?
<+Broxi> Industrial light and magic.
<+forever_delayed> Broxi how do you rate wackychat?
<+Broxi> using the power of greyskull
<+O_O> Broxi how do you rate telnet?
<+Broxi> Try twisting.

#194 (+|-) (Rated: -223)
<Javin> God I need to do laundry.
<Javin> At this point, the underwear I wear are the first ones I'm able to catch.
<Doh_> catch?
<Doh_> you mean there mOVING?
<Javin> Not as fast as the socks, but yes.
<Doh_> heh

#90 (+|-) (Rated: -236)
.julia           • mines light blue tho
.Vista           • I prefer mine: http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_253669_langId_-1_categoryId_165499
.Vista           • different colour, but it's that make and model
.Vista           › has just noticed he's linked to the ladies model without realising:-|

#171 (+|-) (Rated: -215)
(%[E]lVirus) I find vasoline is a terrible lube - everytime I try to wash it off , I get aroused again

#237 (+|-) (Rated: -144)
<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko

#168 (+|-) (Rated: -237)
|+o|FuzzyFox| She has her dongle in a new port

#35 (+|-) (Rated: -229)
»julez« : she coulda read em thru the fabric
   Freebird : were you leakin?
ÐïvëÐèèpër : :-O
  »julez« : :-|
ÐïvëÐèèpër : brb
Vista® looks up leaking pussy on google images and finds a picture of a wet cat
  »julez« : :-O
ÐïvëÐèèpër : back
   »julez« : wb
ÐïvëÐèèpër : howdy vista   wondered if you were actually here
ÐïvëÐèèpër : ty Darin  
Vista® : ah....found one.....had to turn safesearch off
ÐïvëÐèèpër : lmao

#220 (+|-) (Rated: -247)
<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples frightens me

#52 (+|-) (Rated: -279)
A user on a network being really mature until I killed them *rolls eyes* They kept flooding so I kicked them, then this stupid exchange occurred:

   Geo             • jsdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    to  operserv    • kick
                    • OperServ [services@4-irc.com] has kicked Geo [Vista (stop flooding)]
                    • Geo [Geo@223D0935.8561C061.549CE784.IP] has joined #4-IRC
     Geo             • fuck
    +Ace             • i'd rather not thanks;)
   +Ace             • i don't have the right 'attachments':-P
     Geo             • »Vista« fuck your mother
    Geo             • »Ace« fuck your mother
     Geo             • »Vista« fuck Ace mother
     Geo             • »Ace« fuck Vista's mother
   @Vista           • wow...real mature

from AgeOfMythology.4-IRC.Com - *** Permanent K:Line added for *@91.204.190.36 on Sat Sep 5 19:04:48 2009 GMT (from Vista!~vista@NetAdmin.4-IRC.Com: nice try)
from AgeOfMythology.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client exiting: Geo (Geo@91.204.190.36) [User is permanently banned (nice try)]

#76 (+|-) (Rated: -223)
<datacide> i just wanted to type shutdown -r now
<datacide> and what i typed was stfu -r now
<datacide> and for a moment...it looked as though the damn machine was gonna do soemthing
<datacide> like a....stfu hidden binary

#102 (+|-) (Rated: -220)
Simon Purser says
i've tried to make it a basst loadingic theme f
oops
Craig Turner says
lmao
Simon Purser says
basic theme fast loading

#34 (+|-) (Rated: -242)
<.ғıяέkαтт> you should see it you take two big dongs that are used to
                  rough housing with each other and you throw a little man into
                  that mix,.... pure Mayhem and Havoc!!

#36 (+|-) (Rated: -196)
insomniac: why is it that if you grind corn up into mush, eat it, it shows up as a full kernel in the toilet a few days later?
Steelix: He's right.
insomniac: what happens in my stomach...
mindule: insom: that's very interesting
PixelGuru: damn
PixelGuru: i pity you when you eat applesauce
insomniac: haha

#215 (+|-) (Rated: -244)
Darkpsy__ (~ident@71.60.142.24) has joined, but is a Clone of Guest9205  «6 people»
Guest9205 «~ident@71.60.142.24» has Quit iRC (Connection reset by peer) «5 people»
<Vista> lol....it's getting longer O_O

#118 (+|-) (Rated: -194)
Craig - ChatNSN Radio is back online - http://radio.csc2ya.co.uk:8000;): Message may have not been sent because a timeout occurred:
Mini: its puttin me in time out im not a damn kid
Mini: *pouts*
<SharkTooth> dont even think of qdb'in that

#174 (+|-) (Rated: -281)
|+p|Debi| Mine is flapping pointlessly somewhere round my ankles.
|+p|Athena| Wb Hellspawn.
|+p|Debi| thooper
|+p|Debi| Say, do you want to see a movie?
* LegendaryIRC sets mode: +h HellSpawn
|+p|Debi| i'm keeping quiet except for the odd fondle and humping

#125 (+|-) (Rated: -223)
<KaiserPanda> spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can
<KaiserPanda> clings to walls, licks his balls
<KaiserPanda> but not at the same time or else he faaaaalls!

#246 (+|-) (Rated: -124)
Jamie: lol nice - next time you order something - buy a taser too - so you can zap the delivery driver and take the remaining stock
"Jamie - promoting ethics in society"

#55 (+|-) (Rated: -213)
schala: ... youve never had a pap smear.
schala: Let me explain
schala: they make you lay on a cold hospital bed with your legs like whee and then they shove a whoops in your wahoo and make it go zweep and then it goes weeeeeem and then they poke your weebleweebles and then you're done
danni: -Blinks.-
danni: Explain that in ENGLISH?!
schala: I LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A METAL CHIP CLIP

#88 (+|-) (Rated: -234)
[Luke]: I must say my mum is bad when it comes to security. Norton says her download is a virus, so she disables norton and runs the exe. FFS!!!

#165 (+|-) (Rated: -259)
<+Steve0> Googlebot lol silly bot
<.Vista> I remember when I used php-nuke
<.Vista> it got stuck following links on the calender
<+Steve0> LOL!
<.Vista> I think it got to 2056 before I booted it's ip

#185 (+|-) (Rated: -222)
<GimpChimp> I'm going to rape it. And tell the court it lead me on with its suggestive icon-wiggling.
<GimpChimp> Just as soon as I work out the technical details of raping an Internet window.

#130 (+|-) (Rated: -247)
<~SpiderSheepy> you should have heard me lastnight :|
<~FuzzyFox> she was rather drunk for one
<~SpiderSheepy> i also danced on a pole
<~SpiderSheepy> lol
<+WhiteWolf> SpiderSheepy btw you ever figure out where those handcuffs came from ?
<~SpiderSheepy> with 2 strippers
<~FuzzyFox> Its cute how the more drunk she gets, the more welsh she sounds :P
<~FuzzyFox> LOL
<~SpiderSheepy> no jason :S
<+WhiteWolf> you so go finger it out
<~FuzzyFox> Finger? :O
<~SpiderSheepy> o.O
<+Lodestone> i wonder if SpiderSheepy will do a pole dance for me when i see her this weekend :p
<~FuzzyFox> whos she fingering now

#99 (+|-) (Rated: -228)
* %iso is eating a helicopter
<%iso> *hamburger
<+cezz> lol
<+cezz> yummy helicoper
<+cezz> what is the nicest bit? I bet it is the propellers
<%iso> The skids
<%iso> They're always nice and cripsy
<+cezz> Ahhh but they can get a bit dirty from time to rime

#136 (+|-) (Rated: -237)
<Griffin> how are you Anrdi?
<andri> where are you came from?
<Griffin> usa
<Griffin> you?
<andri> are you sure?
<andri> i'm indonesian
<~Vista> nope....still haven't bothered fixing that menu
<andri> are ypu chick?
<andri> you
<Griffin> no im man
<andri> i'm looking for a chick man hahaha
andri (novaldyand@623B88FE.E8F009AA.2B18E8FB.IP) has parted. «12 people»
<~Vista> wtf???:-S

#51 (+|-) (Rated: -212)
<jws> You just *know* you have a virus when you see this:
<jws> (D:) Local Disk
<jws> Total size: 66631337 GB

#214 (+|-) (Rated: -264)
<.Vista> so enabling the firewall just changes the route on the switch to send it fm thereo the firewall
<.Vista> and damn that sentence really got messed up:-|
<.Vista> I think my insert key got pressed somehow
<.Vista> which is odd as this laptop doesn't appear to have an insert key
<.Vista> ah...it does....just noticed it
<.Vista> insert was disabled

#191 (+|-) (Rated: -263)
|+p|ThinkRusty87| lol
|+p|ThinkRusty87| what one of you msged me on searchirc
|+p|ThinkRusty87| well if im not 'welcome here' why havent i been banned?.... also whoever messaged me saying "spamming doesnt get you users".... if YOU had users actually on here, lol
|+p|ThinkRusty87| and dns is down atm.. host is down
|+p|ThinkRusty87| custom php site, custom ajax webchat, custom ircx server-side
|+p|ThinkRusty87| and a 10 server link]
|+p|ThinkRusty87| better than this piece of shit... actually will have users and a site
|+p|ThinkRusty87| dont message me again on searchirc

*At least I don't spam other servers to try and get users*

#123 (+|-) (Rated: -224)
<Gonkster> when i worked for stagecoach, lass sat on periscope, no knicks on
<Gonkster> ffs, i nearly knocked down a building lol
<Gonkster> just saw this beaver winkin at me down periscope lol

#122 (+|-) (Rated: -226)
<+Vivcool> How do I use thunderbird as my email?
<+Vivcool> I don't like the x10's web mail
<+Skizzerz> see the link under "Access Webmail" next to the email account that says "Configure Email Client"?
<+Skizzerz> yeah, click that
<+Skizzerz> tells you everything you need to know
<+Vivcool> What do you use?

#255 (+|-) (Rated: -99)
Craig: although i'm not bothered if it turns out to be that
Craig: as it doesn't affect me eating or anything
Craig: it's just a lack of feeling in a certain small area
Jamie: ask them whilst there... do they do enlargements for me :)
Jamie: lol
Jamie: brb
Craig: and yes....I AM aware of how dodgy 'a certain small area' sounds;)

#181 (+|-) (Rated: -228)
tachyonizer (~tachyoniz@41.97.94.252) has joined. «78 people»
<tachyonizer> !keep tachyonizer
<@Beschbot> tachyonizer: tachyonizer's shell has already been deleted...
<tachyonizer> fuck you
<tachyonizer> goddamnit
<tachyonizer> goddamnit
<tachyonizer> i am budy man can't you wait a fucking day ?????
* tachyonizer was kicked by Beschbot (Bad word detected. (*fuck*) :: [Tue Mar 11 18:19:58 2014] - Banned 0 minutes ·58·)

#42 (+|-) (Rated: -247)
Jameleous says:
i was just typing "the service has been good on o2 since i turned off 3g, reset and turned it back on" - 5 bars generally
as i typed it said error - cannot send message as network is not found
NO SERVICE at the top

#256 (+|-) (Rated: -72)
I was wondering if PCs have feelings...
Looking for the clues in the big finger sticking up at me emoticon...

#132 (+|-) (Rated: -238)
<myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
<myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

#44 (+|-) (Rated: -208)
Icez            • does Bandit still come here
SharkTooth      • ?
SharkTooth      • yes
SharkTooth      › looks at bandit
SharkTooth      › waves and yells IM RIGHT HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SharkTooth      • Duh
Icez            • ohh

#45 (+|-) (Rated: -222)
01:17  from WinServ.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client connecting on port 6667: Vista2 (N95@169.254.237.81) [clients]
01:19  from WinServ.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client exiting: Vista2 (N95@169.254.237.81) [Quit: Nokia - Connecting People:-p]

*For anyone that doesn't get what's odd here, look at the ip*