Quote Database

#87 (+|-) (Rated: -202)
<Dyl4N>a mosquito landed on my screen and i went to right click on it and close it...
<Dyl4N>then i realized i should get out more
<Jesse>send me a screen shot
<Jesse>wait

#250 (+|-) (Rated: -2)
Jamie: I may be on and offline more whilst I struggle cough I mean experiment with Linux and grapple the bootstrap

#254 (+|-) (Rated: 3)
Craig: probably won't look quite as good as the one I had, but it's the taste that matters....not the looks

#211 (+|-) (Rated: -194)
<Vista> I forgot you were logged into it
<Vista> firewall might have got you
<Vista> one sex
<Vista> *sec

#191 (+|-) (Rated: -209)
|+p|ThinkRusty87| lol
|+p|ThinkRusty87| what one of you msged me on searchirc
|+p|ThinkRusty87| well if im not 'welcome here' why havent i been banned?.... also whoever messaged me saying "spamming doesnt get you users".... if YOU had users actually on here, lol
|+p|ThinkRusty87| and dns is down atm.. host is down
|+p|ThinkRusty87| custom php site, custom ajax webchat, custom ircx server-side
|+p|ThinkRusty87| and a 10 server link]
|+p|ThinkRusty87| better than this piece of shit... actually will have users and a site
|+p|ThinkRusty87| dont message me again on searchirc

*At least I don't spam other servers to try and get users*

#69 (+|-) (Rated: -172)
<port-> well peace out fuckers
<port-> im done with soa
<port-> email me if u want to talk, odoyle has the address.
* port- sets mode: -o port-
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has left #soangels
<ap0c> heh
<ap0c> he'll be back
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has joined #soangels
<port-> god damn autojoin
* port- (port-@c-66-229-187-206.we.client2.attbi.com) has left #soangels

#41 (+|-) (Rated: -158)
<Helix> fuck
<Helix> my back right tire is flat
<Helix> this is lame
<Owashawa> change it and put the spare on
<Owashawa> problem solved
<Helix> then i have to change it
<Helix> and its cold
<Helix> and wet and shit
<irn> You fucking girl
<irn> get out there
<irn> What if your wife's water broke and you had to take her to hospital, eh?
<Helix> it'd make it
<Helix> besides, that's what ambulances are for
<irn> what if your vehicle IS the ambulance?
<Helix> ill know a thing or two about assiting birth
<Helix> besides, im gay and exempt from your question
<irn> What if your boyfriend got stuck in an inflatable suit during a balloon fetish romp?
<Helix> id masterbate until i passed out

#45 (+|-) (Rated: -159)
01:17  from WinServ.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client connecting on port 6667: Vista2 (N95@169.254.237.81) [clients]
01:19  from WinServ.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client exiting: Vista2 (N95@169.254.237.81) [Quit: Nokia - Connecting People:-p]

*For anyone that doesn't get what's odd here, look at the ip*

#135 (+|-) (Rated: -209)
<Megistos> I once gave someone what amounted to a virus over IRC
<Megistos> it was a mIRC script that allowed us to remotely execute mIRC commands
<Megistos> what a fool
<Megistos> At first we just made him say stuff in channels
<Megistos> then we realised mIRC could talk to the whole system with /run
<Megistos> hence this immortal line
<Shiyiya> Heh
<Megistos> <lbal> wtf, i come back from css to find 63 calculators open
<Shiyiya> lmao

#36 (+|-) (Rated: -144)
insomniac: why is it that if you grind corn up into mush, eat it, it shows up as a full kernel in the toilet a few days later?
Steelix: He's right.
insomniac: what happens in my stomach...
mindule: insom: that's very interesting
PixelGuru: damn
PixelGuru: i pity you when you eat applesauce
insomniac: haha

#83 (+|-) (Rated: -172)
<+HoCkster> I got an official warning from my bank
<+HoCkster> I usually pay my rent as "Columbian Drug Money", they never objected
<+HoCkster> but then I forgot my mates cell phone number,
<+HoCkster> we were both doing internet banking at the same time right
<@Lilzvixen> welcome to my room
<+HoCkster> so I give him a 1 cent payment going "What's your number"
<+HoCkster> and we start having this whole conversation
<+HoCkster> it was like webchat
<+HoCkster> so like 87 payments later, the bank rings me up and were like
<+HoCkster> "have you thought of getting MSN?"

#187 (+|-) (Rated: -190)
<Baby-d> I set up a shoutcast last night while I was pretty wasted, it's fuckin tight though
<SilverJag> I guess
<Baby-d> you guess!?!
<Baby-d> show some more enthusiasim!
<Baby-d> :)
<SilverJag> I cant I have diahreaa

#175 (+|-) (Rated: -195)
night98|away «night98@boy.from.venus» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus crazy.janus) «98 people»
TBBTNut «~tbbtnut@netadmin.TBBTNet.com» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) «97 people»
night98 «~night98@boy.from.venus» has Quit iRC (TBBTNet.janus tbbt.janus) «96 people»
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and crazy.janus - Invincible
<+one_eight_seven> (Netsplit Detector) Netsplit between TBBTNet.janus and tbbt.janus - Invincible

*Can't help thinking that's like getting hit by a car and being told afterwards 'there's a car coming'*

#71 (+|-) (Rated: -169)
<SypaNick> You get fisher price sql with MS
<SypaNick> My first SQL server.

#103 (+|-) (Rated: -196)
[6:08pm] Link «Link@linkstechblog.com» has Quit iRC (For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.)

#249 (+|-) (Rated: -15)
<.'Trivia_Bot> 2. Useless Trivia: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a ---------- for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
<.'Trivia_Bot> Here's a hint, fa__
<.Vista> fart
<.'Trivia_Bot> Winner: Vista Answer: fart Time: 29.313 Streak: 1 Points: 1 WPM: 1 Rank: 1st

#51 (+|-) (Rated: -160)
<jws> You just *know* you have a virus when you see this:
<jws> (D:) Local Disk
<jws> Total size: 66631337 GB

#121 (+|-) (Rated: -189)
<.Cemtex> .joke
<.Eco>  Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? A. Because women wouldn't have them if they were called cunt scrapes.

#218 (+|-) (Rated: -201)
Craig: yep
Craig: I'll keep everything crossed for you
Craig: hmm....actually...maybe not everything *winces*
😜
Zac: Don't cross your balls, they will turn blue. And blue balls aren't a good thing LOL
Zac: OMG stop reading my mind 😕
Craig: lol

#62 (+|-) (Rated: -191)
<MystyGlyttyr> No, had to spank the cat for crawling up on the gun cabinet.
<Vennie> Next time just leave them loaded and let the problem solve itself
<MystyGlyttyr> Nah, it's not my cat.

#34 (+|-) (Rated: -190)
<.ғıяέkαтт> you should see it you take two big dongs that are used to
                  rough housing with each other and you throw a little man into
                  that mix,.... pure Mayhem and Havoc!!

#47 (+|-) (Rated: -179)
[16:35] *** Quits: Ser_Olmy_ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Rawr (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: natm (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: alien8 (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: christel (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: SNAFU` (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: metty (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Alasdair (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: }Night{ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: andyd_ (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: sladen (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Noodles (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: data[moo] (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: cpufreak (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Dougie (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
[16:35] *** Quits: Radix (*.easynet.net ircnet.easynet.co.uk)
...
[17:24] *** Quits: huggie (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: kurai (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: maxeh (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[17:24] *** Quits: Weety (*.club-internet.fr *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: metty (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: huggie (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: kurai (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: maxeh (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: Weety (*.DE *.stealth.net)
[18:36] *** Quits: data[moo] (*.DE *.us.ircnet.net)
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[19:39] *** Quits: data[moo] (hub1.us.ircnet.net irc1.us.ircnet.net)
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[20:35] *** Quits: cpufreak (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: metty (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: huggie (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: Darkcyde (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: kurai (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: maxeh (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:35] *** Quits: Weety (*.nl *.stealth.net)
[20:39] <data[moo]> ircnet in the wash today or summit?
[20:39] <data[moo]> seems to be shrinking a bit

#56 (+|-) (Rated: -168)
@eliaz`medal): i have broken two of my erm
(@eliaz`medal): foot things
(@eliaz`medal): extensions
(@eliaz`medal): those little thigns on ur feet (@eliaz`medal): 5 on each :: (@eliaz`medal): :/
(@eliaz`medal): dunno name
(@Ched): toes?

#67 (+|-) (Rated: -182)
<Skream> Anyone got an IDE controller I can borrow?
<Skream> Mine just caught fire.

#89 (+|-) (Rated: -175)
*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah.  Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'

#118 (+|-) (Rated: -134)
Craig - ChatNSN Radio is back online - http://radio.csc2ya.co.uk:8000;): Message may have not been sent because a timeout occurred:
Mini: its puttin me in time out im not a damn kid
Mini: *pouts*
<SharkTooth> dont even think of qdb'in that

#167 (+|-) (Rated: -168)
<+|neo|> FUCK!!!!!!!!!
<+|neo|> fucking donut
<+|neo|> this is gay
<+|neo|> i bit my lip while eating this donut
<+|neo|> hurt like a bitch
<+|neo|> bout 5 secs later i bit it in the same place again
<+|neo|> then it started bleeding
<@Decco> lol
<+|neo|> then about 20 secs ago i bit the same part again
<sic6sic> neo....dont move
<sic6sic> just....dont move

#64 (+|-) (Rated: -176)
<@anorexicpoodle> so the cable modem is plugged directly into your comp
<KooGooShii> lemme check
<KooGooShii> yup
<KooGooShii> i just unhooked it and checked
<FinalLancer> /notice me if you get it up, imma gonna be doing stuffs
<KooGooShii> yet im still on the internet
<KooGooShii> isnt that weird
<@anorexicpoodle> uhh
<@anorexicpoodle> what port did you unhook
<KooGooShii> lets see how long i can go without my modem plugged in before i get disconnected!
KooGooShii «~aliasmpu@24.114.112.97» has Quit iRC (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

#92 (+|-) (Rated: -170)
<Poyzin> So, something amusing happened to me.
<Kilts> ?
<Poyzin> I clocked out of work today, and the ticket tells me I've worked 13 hours and 37 minutes.
<Poyzin> Of course, presented as 13.37.
<Poyzin> Know what that makes me? :D
<Kilts> lol really leet?
<Poyzin> ...
<Poyzin> I worked 13 and a half fucking hours, and TIRED isn't your first guess? God dammit.

#248 (+|-) (Rated: -13)
I've worked on DNS for 20 years, can someone clue me in on this fustercluck?

#151 (+|-) (Rated: -173)
<Swift> I need lemonade.
<dmc2> I hate it when my sound goes blurry.
<supakoopa> i hate when my video gets loud.

#57 (+|-) (Rated: -181)
<RDrR> FUCK FUCK FUCK
<RDrR> i was tryin to do that spray whippd cream snorting thing
<RDrR> i filled my entire fukin nasal cavity with whipped cream
<RDrR> fuck its bleedin

#237 (+|-) (Rated: -90)
<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko

#119 (+|-) (Rated: -162)
<+plat_> "sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587GB in about 3 seconds"

#75 (+|-) (Rated: -179)
<joesboxd3b> it is just ironic.... you can't get the cvs version of cvs unless you get the older version of cvs then cvs to the cvs server to get the latest cvs version of cvs

#190 (+|-) (Rated: -172)
<.Vista> damn
<.Vista> both my eggdrops forgot who I am:-S
<.Vista> had to wipe their userfiles then re-identify to them
<.Vista> !8ball am I really that easily forgotten?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: ..Sure?

#127 (+|-) (Rated: -165)
<Guesm27> hai can i suck ur pussy
<ScoobyDrew> nah,you'd just get hairballs and i'd be stuck with a wet traumatized cat

#146 (+|-) (Rated: -169)
<+x_LiL_Sophie_x> Broxi are you horny?
<+Broxi> Yes and i wont stop till my vagina bounces off!

#52 (+|-) (Rated: -215)
A user on a network being really mature until I killed them *rolls eyes* They kept flooding so I kicked them, then this stupid exchange occurred:

   Geo             • jsdaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
    to  operserv    • kick
                    • OperServ [services@4-irc.com] has kicked Geo [Vista (stop flooding)]
                    • Geo [Geo@223D0935.8561C061.549CE784.IP] has joined #4-IRC
     Geo             • fuck
    +Ace             • i'd rather not thanks;)
   +Ace             • i don't have the right 'attachments':-P
     Geo             • »Vista« fuck your mother
    Geo             • »Ace« fuck your mother
     Geo             • »Vista« fuck Ace mother
     Geo             • »Ace« fuck Vista's mother
   @Vista           • wow...real mature

from AgeOfMythology.4-IRC.Com - *** Permanent K:Line added for *@91.204.190.36 on Sat Sep 5 19:04:48 2009 GMT (from Vista!~vista@NetAdmin.4-IRC.Com: nice try)
from AgeOfMythology.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client exiting: Geo (Geo@91.204.190.36) [User is permanently banned (nice try)]

#111 (+|-) (Rated: -164)
<+Sierra> Marshy: You could try using storage sites like mediaforage and sendspace
<+Sierra> mediafire*
<+Sierra> I have no idea where forage came from

#178 (+|-) (Rated: -210)
<Grid> Hey Psyko, if the world was gonna end in 3 minutes, what would you do?
<Psyko> I'D SCREW ANYTHING THAT MOVES!!! What would you do?
<Grid> ... ... ... I'd stand very very still. o.o;

#37 (+|-) (Rated: -176)
<+Dr_Link> SSL certificate: $30.
<+CoJaBo-Aztec> Dell mainframe server: $1.
<+CoJaBo-Aztec> Discount cupon: -$80,000.
<+Dr_Link> Getting hacked by a POST injection: Priceless.

#253 (+|-) (Rated: -7)
Lol... The ultimate dark mode... Being put under anaesthetic 😂

#123 (+|-) (Rated: -175)
<Gonkster> when i worked for stagecoach, lass sat on periscope, no knicks on
<Gonkster> ffs, i nearly knocked down a building lol
<Gonkster> just saw this beaver winkin at me down periscope lol

#247 (+|-) (Rated: -49)
I was thinking about making something good for dinner, so I asked the computer...
It was a few moments later that I realised the computer doesn't know how to cook :)

#198 (+|-) (Rated: -168)
wtf....that didn't look as though I spelt housing right. I asked my amazon echo to spell it...it gave me the spelling of helsinki instead:-| Now it's telling me how to spell england:-S stupid deaf alexa:-p

#210 (+|-) (Rated: -161)
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?

#93 (+|-) (Rated: -163)
<kerushixx> dude, i just saw a moth fart!
<tulam> 0_o
<tulam> how do you know it farted?
<kerushixx> it flew in a straight line

#44 (+|-) (Rated: -160)
Icez            • does Bandit still come here
SharkTooth      • ?
SharkTooth      • yes
SharkTooth      › looks at bandit
SharkTooth      › waves and yells IM RIGHT HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SharkTooth      • Duh
Icez            • ohh

#188 (+|-) (Rated: -190)
<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I said "dpkg dash
      dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke bottle into
      the recycling bin.