Quote Database

First < 1 2 3 4 > Last

#84 (+|-) (Rated: -47)
<RST38h> When I bought 14.4kbd modem, TELNET and FTP became so lightning fast...
<jaem> what sort of lightning do you have where you live, then?
<lcuk> the sort that used to buffer before striking

#85 (+|-) (Rated: -55)
<Fury> dude! The power just went out in the house and all over the city.
<Fury> everything is off =X
<Fury> fuck its so dark. this fucking sucks.
<Angelic[X]> Why are you still here?
     —› quit: (Fury) (siren@2c4e124f.19108886.cable.ntl.com) (Read error: Connection reset by peer)

#86 (+|-) (Rated: -53)
<MightyBlueJustice> I need to jack a hole in this floor so I can get the internet hooked up to the comp in the basement.
<MightyBlueJustice> I need more power tools
<MKDemon> You don't have a drill?
<MightyBlueJustice> We do somewhere.
<MightyBlueJustice> All I can find is a power sander and I just don't have that kind of time.

#87 (+|-) (Rated: -58)
<Dyl4N>a mosquito landed on my screen and i went to right click on it and close it...
<Dyl4N>then i realized i should get out more
<Jesse>send me a screen shot
<Jesse>wait

#88 (+|-) (Rated: -57)
[Luke]: I must say my mum is bad when it comes to security. Norton says her download is a virus, so she disables norton and runs the exe. FFS!!!

#89 (+|-) (Rated: -56)
*** Pikachu has joined #Distro
<kurai> Gah.  Fucken' Pokemon crap - hate it.
<kurai> Some twat in the office thought it would be "cute and friendly" to name all the servers etc after bloody Pokemon characters.
<kurai> The incident that mainly brought about this hatred was the time a particular SQL server fell over (yet again)...
<kurai> So I shout across the (full) office to a colleague "Oi ! Pikachu's just gone down on me again !"
<kurai> Mind you - it was amusing seeing one dumb bint snorting coffee out of her nose she was laughing so hard.
<Pikachu> ? ! I don't go down on pppl !!
<kurai> SO you are small, yellow, annoying *and* don't give head ?
<kurai> What a pointless life - top yourself right now.
*** Pikachu Quit (Ping timeout)
<basto> Wow - you are like some evil mind controlling Guru or somthin'

#90 (Rated: -47)
.julia           • mines light blue tho
.Vista           • I prefer mine: http://www.halfords.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/product_storeId_10001_catalogId_10151_productId_253669_langId_-1_categoryId_165499
.Vista           • different colour, but it's that make and model
.Vista           › has just noticed he's linked to the ladies model without realising:-|

#91 (+|-) (Rated: -51)
<Rach> when i get my old puter back i'll send you some songs
<Olly> What happened to it?
<Rach> i broke it
<Olly> On purpose?  
<Rach> i wouldnt say PURPOSE
<Rach> just stupidly
<Olly> Ahh
<Olly> So you do know exatly what's wrong with it?
<Rach> yeah, it's full of water

#92 (+|-) (Rated: -55)
<Poyzin> So, something amusing happened to me.
<Kilts> ?
<Poyzin> I clocked out of work today, and the ticket tells me I've worked 13 hours and 37 minutes.
<Poyzin> Of course, presented as 13.37.
<Poyzin> Know what that makes me? :D
<Kilts> lol really leet?
<Poyzin> ...
<Poyzin> I worked 13 and a half fucking hours, and TIRED isn't your first guess? God dammit.

#93 (+|-) (Rated: -58)
<kerushixx> dude, i just saw a moth fart!
<tulam> 0_o
<tulam> how do you know it farted?
<kerushixx> it flew in a straight line

#94 (+|-) (Rated: -50)
<Adun|Oblivion> "The ejaculation of a dolphin carries so much force with it, that it could decapitate you."
<ChaosSmurf> You know
<ChaosSmurf> This is why Dolphins are ALWAYS happy
<ChaosSmurf> They're just sitting there going "Yeah, bitches, I can decapitate you with my sperm"

#95 (+|-) (Rated: -58)
<Nori123> You don't know jack shit
<VioletSky> That's not true, I know him well
<Nori123> Haha
<VioletSky> I'm serious
<VioletSky> Jack is the son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. Awe Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of Needeep N. Schitt Inc. They had one son, Jack. In turn Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, the deeply religious couple produced 6 children
<VioletSky> Holie Schitt, Fulla Schitt, Giva Schitt, Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deap Schitt and Dip Schitt. Against her parents' objections, Deap Schitt married Dumb Schitt, a high school drop out.
<VioletSky> However, after being married 15 years, Jack and Noe Schitt divorced. Noe Schitt later remarried Ted Sherlock and, because her kids were living with them, she wanted to keep her previous name.
<VioletSky> She was then known as Noe Schitt-Sherlock. Meanwhile, Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son of nervous disposition, Chicken Schitt.
<VioletSky> Two other of the 6 children, Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt, were inseparable throughout childhood and subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dual ceremony.
<VioletSky> The wedding announcement in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happens wedding. The Schitt-Happens children were Dawg, Byrd, and Hoarse.
<VioletSky> Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He recently returned from Italy with his new Italian bride, Pisa Schitt.
<VioletSky> So there.
<FiPo> LOL
<Nori123> I have actually chortled coke through my nose

#96 (+|-) (Rated: -52)
<Spazz> Seems like when I say "FUCK" you get an EOF error  :o
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> fuck
<Spazz> fuck
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> fuck
<Bartolimis> stop
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Bartolimis> we're done >:)
<Ranto> hmh?
<Spazz> Your client got an error...
<Bartolimis> yeah, we're done saying fuck
<Spazz> everytime we said f***
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Spazz> Quit saying fukc
<Bartolimis> my bad
<Spazz> fuck*
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)
*** Joins: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au)
<Icc> Someone says fuck and he drops ?
*** Quits: Ranto (~recon@newax2-042.dialup.optusnet.com.au) (Read error: EOF from client)

#97 (+|-) (Rated: -57)
X-LP            • Ozafy we're losing that other server of mine
X-LP            • ummmm
X-LP            • delta!
@DimeCadmium     • xD
@DimeCadmium     • dont even know its name thar?

#98 (Rated: -56)
<@Vista> Operating System Platform:«Microsoft Windows 7 Professional» UpTime:«5 Days 20 Hours 1 Minute 4 Seconds» Record UpTime:«5 Days 19 Hours 58 Minutes 46 Seconds» —I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n—

#99 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
* %iso is eating a helicopter
<%iso> *hamburger
<+cezz> lol
<+cezz> yummy helicoper
<+cezz> what is the nicest bit? I bet it is the propellers
<%iso> The skids
<%iso> They're always nice and cripsy
<+cezz> Ahhh but they can get a bit dirty from time to rime

#100 (+|-) (Rated: -51)
[Modnar] 3y3 0wnz j00
[TMBG37] n0 j00 d0n7
[Modnar] dude, i've got the inv0ice right here
  

#101 (Rated: -50)
<@Vista> oops:-S
* @Vista makes a mental note: make sure you configure things properly....you don't get over 2000 emails about a cron job error in a mailbox that's never checked then:-|

#102 (+|-) (Rated: -41)
Simon Purser says
i've tried to make it a basst loadingic theme f
oops
Craig Turner says
lmao
Simon Purser says
basic theme fast loading

#103 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
[6:08pm] Link «Link@linkstechblog.com» has Quit iRC (For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.)

#104 (+|-) (Rated: -52)
<~Availea> WTF?
<~Availea> Did a cat walk across your bf?
<~Availea> fb*
<~Availea> kb*
<~Availea> OMFG

#105 (+|-) (Rated: -44)
Referring to a comment about an annoyed looking cat: Thats some angry pussy you have got there!

#106 (+|-) (Rated: -50)
Anne (34171613@xC-3088C7E4.as13285.net) has joined. «36 people»
Alice sets mode: +v Anne
<+Anne> hi
<+henk506673> hi
<+Anne> Hex are you there?

*Another one talking to a bot*

#107 (+|-) (Rated: -36)
<Joah> texas
<+Alias> lol
<+Availea> Kentucky
<+Availea> Since we're randomly naming states :P
<+Alias> canada
<+V4mpire> canada is a country
<~clarjon1> confusion
<+Alias> I know
<~clarjon1> confusion, emergency, insanity, panic....
<~clarjon1> since we're naming states.

#108 (+|-) (Rated: -45)
Alice «availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) «48 people»
Angie` «~Angie_@AbyssNet-7DCD1663.atw.dyn.suddenlink.net» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) «47 people»
Availea «~BinariiAn@Staff.Starfleetirc.net» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) «46 people»
Declawed «~Sharpie@Staff.Starfleetirc.net» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) «45 people»
—I-n-v-i-s-i-o-n— Netsplit Detected. «Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net»
Alias «~Alias@AbyssNet-D7E100B0.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com» has Quit iRC (Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net) «44 people»
Edward «availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net» has Quit iRC (Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net) «43 people»
Bella «availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net» has Quit iRC (Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net) «42 people»
<+Gothic_Goddess> oh oh
<+f0rte> o.o
<+Gothic_Goddess> bye bye yall
Availeab (~BinariiAn@D453254D.E802AAAD.D92F8E0C.IP) has joined. «44 people»
Availeab (~BinariiAn@D453254D.E802AAAD.D92F8E0C.IP) is now known as Availea
PinkSmurf sets mode: +qo Availea Availea
Alice (availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net) has joined. «45 people»
VJTD3 (VJTD3@ppp203.net267.fl.sprint-hsd.net) has joined. «46 people»
Angie` (~Angie_@AbyssNet-7DCD1663.atw.dyn.suddenlink.net) has joined. «47 people»
Alias (~Alias@AbyssNet-D7E100B0.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined. «48 people»
Edward (availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net) has joined, but is a Clone of Alice  «49 people»
Bella (availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net) has joined, but is a Clone of Alice & Edward  «50 people»
Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net sets mode: +vvv Alias Edward Bella
Declawed (~Sharpie@AbyssNet-2801DE50.surgehost.net) has joined. «51 people»
Red-Dragon sets mode: +vvvvv Alice Angie` BlueEyes Declawed VJTD3
<+Gothic_Goddess> wb yall

#109 (+|-) (Rated: -55)
<+sb> @ Anna plz tell me who is besides
<+Anna> I'd strongly advise against buggering ANY staffmember through email about the script. Make a thread in the forums and they *might* answer eventually
<+sb> uhooooooo
<+sb> i found it
<+sb> http://code.google.com/p/eris-flash-irc-client/
<+sb> check and tell me
<+sb> how to use it
<+Anna> I don't KNOW what script was setup here, and I was NOT part of setting it up, so I would have no clue on that
<+Anna> there's hopefully instructions included
<+barefoot> Anna ... you might not want to use "buggering"  in the future
<+Anna> ok
<+Sierra> Oh god, nice typo

#110 (+|-) (Rated: -45)
admin (76419697@xC-C7145B36.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined. «32 people»
Alice sets mode: +v admin
<+admin> hello
<+admin> can anyone put my site up? i registered over 4 hours ago and the site isnt set p yet..
<+admin> it still says processing wait
<+admin> :(
<+admin> btw im not admin
<+admin> anyone here?
<+admin> thesres 32 members online damn it..

*Note: 32 MEMBERS online...not 32 staff online*

#111 (+|-) (Rated: -40)
<+Sierra> Marshy: You could try using storage sites like mediaforage and sendspace
<+Sierra> mediafire*
<+Sierra> I have no idea where forage came from

#112 (+|-) (Rated: -45)
<+skatzifromtwogen> Restart my whole computer
<+skatzifromtwogen> and my website still won't load.
<+Johan> are you an administrator?
Johan «61728065@xC-A4EEB02A.ks.ok.cox.net» has Quit iRC (Client exited) «31 people»
<+skatzifromtwogen> Yes i am
<+Sierra> skatzifromtwogen: Did you contact your ISP?
<+Sierra> skatzifromtwogen: And he was asking if you were an x10 administrator I think XD
Johan (61728065@xC-A4EEB02A.ks.ok.cox.net) has joined. «32 people»
Alice sets mode: +v Johan
<+skatzifromtwogen> No i didn't contact them
nxcorex (53152468@xC-7E964982.dsl.teksavvy.com) has joined. «33 people»
Alice sets mode: +v nxcorex
<+nxcorex> hello
<+skatzifromtwogen> I am 14. and have no power in talking to my internet providor.
<+skatzifromtwogen> also
<+nxcorex> can anyone tell me if it's possible to run ssl and magneto
<+skatzifromtwogen> I am the one who made my site
<+skatzifromtwogen> so yet i am the admin of the hosting
<+nxcorex> on premium pack 3 years?
<+skatzifromtwogen> So long story short. Yes i am the Admin/ maker of the site.
<+skatzifromtwogen> So i own the x10hosting login for twogengamerz

#113 (+|-) (Rated: -45)
Jamie Robinson: Ta for the links luckily it is for someone at work so i dont have to get any viri lol
Craig Turner: lol
Jamie Robinson: Im fed up of viri avast report its own virus definitions update as infected the other day lol

#114 (+|-) (Rated: -57)
Angie` «Angie@IRC-Operator» has Quit iRC (Connection reset by peer) «31 people»
Angie` (Angie@AbyssNet-B20CB6DA.imctv.dynamic.mis.net) has joined. «32 people»
TheGame sets mode: +o Angie`
<@Angie`> IM GOING TO SLING THIS PEICE OF SHIT
<@Angie`> AGAINST A FUCKING WALL
<@Angie`> god fucking damn
ShitzNGiggles (biggy@AbyssNet-4C0706C2.lnk.telstra.net) has joined. «33 people»
<~geekgirl> rofl
<~geekgirl> whats wrong
<+DragonBlood> lmao
<@Angie`> stupid fucking peice of shit laptop makes me so fucking mad
<@Angie`> it puts itself to fucking sleep
<@Angie`> cause something is broken or not clipped right because i threw it
<@Angie`> a few times
<@Angie`> at a wall

#116 (+|-) (Rated: -41)
<@Angie`> omgg painnnn
<~Availea> Glad we could come to a compromise :D
* ~Availea snuggles Angie` and rubs her back
<@Angie`> i think it may be gas cause everytime it cramps i fart lol

#118 (+|-) (Rated: -56)
Craig - ChatNSN Radio is back online - http://radio.csc2ya.co.uk:8000;): Message may have not been sent because a timeout occurred:
Mini: its puttin me in time out im not a damn kid
Mini: *pouts*
<SharkTooth> dont even think of qdb'in that

#119 (+|-) (Rated: -39)
<+plat_> "sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587GB in about 3 seconds"

#120 (+|-) (Rated: -45)
<+Neil> Hey rewq, I'm here if I can still assist you.
<+Neil> Let me take a minute to read the conversation (I just got back)
<+Neil> Alright, so, you said you've paid $2.95 for three months. What service did you sign up for?
<+Neil> Taking a look here, it seems you've signed up for our Prime package.
<+Neil> ..
<+Neil> And, I've been talking to myself, because ZNC decided not to tell me he quit.

#121 (+|-) (Rated: -56)
<.Cemtex> .joke
<.Eco>  Q. Why is a pap smear called a pap smear? A. Because women wouldn't have them if they were called cunt scrapes.

#122 (+|-) (Rated: -43)
<+Vivcool> How do I use thunderbird as my email?
<+Vivcool> I don't like the x10's web mail
<+Skizzerz> see the link under "Access Webmail" next to the email account that says "Configure Email Client"?
<+Skizzerz> yeah, click that
<+Skizzerz> tells you everything you need to know
<+Vivcool> What do you use?

#123 (+|-) (Rated: -50)
<Gonkster> when i worked for stagecoach, lass sat on periscope, no knicks on
<Gonkster> ffs, i nearly knocked down a building lol
<Gonkster> just saw this beaver winkin at me down periscope lol

#124 (+|-) (Rated: -47)
<Sonium> someone speak python here?
<lucky> HHHHHSSSSSHSSS
<lucky> SSSSS
<Sonium> the programming language

#125 (+|-) (Rated: -45)
<KaiserPanda> spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can
<KaiserPanda> clings to walls, licks his balls
<KaiserPanda> but not at the same time or else he faaaaalls!

#126 (+|-) (Rated: -60)
<+AnImAtIoN> could be worse
<~SpiderSheepy> gah
<+AnImAtIoN> i could be like this
<+AnImAtIoN> Laught Out Loud
<~SpiderSheepy> can i ban him?
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> LAUGH*
<+Broxi> :O
<~SpiderSheepy> making me squint
<+Lefteris/Chat> xaaxaxaxaxaxaxaxaxax
<+AnImAtIoN> read properly then
<~FuzzyFox> Please
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> OMG i thought you said it's making me squirt
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> i was like WHAT?
<+AnImAtIoN> rofl
<~FuzzyFox> LOL
<~SpiderSheepy> sick lol
<+AnImAtIoN> yah mon
<+hell-of-the-dev/ddc> was about to ask if i could watch :/

#127 (+|-) (Rated: -47)
<Guesm27> hai can i suck ur pussy
<ScoobyDrew> nah,you'd just get hairballs and i'd be stuck with a wet traumatized cat

#128 (+|-) (Rated: -53)
* TT205 wants to build a SNOT-HIPPO!!!!
<TT205> *blink*
* TT205 wants to build a SNOW-HIPPO!!!!

#129 (+|-) (Rated: -54)
* +BabyCheetah throws a council brick at Jue :)
* +Jue throws a privately owned one back

#130 (+|-) (Rated: -55)
<~SpiderSheepy> you should have heard me lastnight :|
<~FuzzyFox> she was rather drunk for one
<~SpiderSheepy> i also danced on a pole
<~SpiderSheepy> lol
<+WhiteWolf> SpiderSheepy btw you ever figure out where those handcuffs came from ?
<~SpiderSheepy> with 2 strippers
<~FuzzyFox> Its cute how the more drunk she gets, the more welsh she sounds :P
<~FuzzyFox> LOL
<~SpiderSheepy> no jason :S
<+WhiteWolf> you so go finger it out
<~FuzzyFox> Finger? :O
<~SpiderSheepy> o.O
<+Lodestone> i wonder if SpiderSheepy will do a pole dance for me when i see her this weekend :p
<~FuzzyFox> whos she fingering now

#131 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<SMW> howdy Ian
<SMW> how you doin tonight?
<Ian_Sharpe> same as always
<Ian_Sharpe> still smoking
<Ian_Sharpe> drinking too
<Protector> Seems you have something against internal organs that begin with the letter "L"

#132 (+|-) (Rated: -50)
<myliw0rk> There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research.
<myliw0rk> This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

#133 (+|-) (Rated: -55)
<.Vista> agh.....fucking craneflies:@
<.Vista> pissing me off now
<DigitalEquinox> I must be getting tired, I thought that said cornflakes, I had to read it twice. :/

#134 (+|-) (Rated: -58)
<noddy> oops, i banned tgo last night and forgot to remove it :/
<Mortarion> yes you did
<noddy> sorry dude :*(
<The_Gifted_One> yeah, u whore :P
<noddy> :/
<Mortarion> am i gonna have to start checking the ban list when i get up every morning again?
<noddy> again!?
<Mortarion> yes, when i first gave you ops i'd have to check the banlist, usually you hadn't banned anyone in particular, you'd just filled it up with crap banmasks
<Mortarion> i got up one morning and like 40 countries had been banned
<The_Gifted_One> ROFL

#135 (+|-) (Rated: -62)
<Megistos> I once gave someone what amounted to a virus over IRC
<Megistos> it was a mIRC script that allowed us to remotely execute mIRC commands
<Megistos> what a fool
<Megistos> At first we just made him say stuff in channels
<Megistos> then we realised mIRC could talk to the whole system with /run
<Megistos> hence this immortal line
<Shiyiya> Heh
<Megistos> <lbal> wtf, i come back from css to find 63 calculators open
<Shiyiya> lmao

First < 1 2 3 4 > Last