ChatNSN Quotes

#187 (+|-) (Rated: -393)
<Baby-d> I set up a shoutcast last night while I was pretty wasted, it's fuckin tight though
<SilverJag> I guess
<Baby-d> you guess!?!
<Baby-d> show some more enthusiasim!
<Baby-d> :)
<SilverJag> I cant I have diahreaa

#188 (+|-) (Rated: -406)
<zed> I wonder what kind of look my dad would give me if I said "dpkg dash
dash purge coca dash cola" as I chucked an empty coke bottle into
the recycling bin.

#189 (+|-) (Rated: -423)
<Charles> The best story involves a bestiality site. No, really, it does.

There was this bestiality site that used our software. I don't even remember what it was now but we would get calls quite often. People would call and say "I would like to cancel my account" and we would try to find them in our database. After quite a bit of looking we would say "well this is for IPS right" and they would say "no it's for animal lovers anonymous" ...

Then of course there's the awkward silence. Where you now know that the person on the other end of the phone likes Bambi a bit too much. So then you have to say "um I think you're calling the wrong people" ...

Then there's another awkward silence where THEY now know that YOU know that they enjoy cuddling with Snoopy on cold evenings.

It was a combination of creepy and amusing at the same time. This went on for a couple months actually.

#190 (+|-) (Rated: -415)
<.Vista> damn
<.Vista> both my eggdrops forgot who I am:-S
<.Vista> had to wipe their userfiles then re-identify to them
<.Vista> !8ball am I really that easily forgotten?
<.Ace> 8Ball Response: ..Sure?

#192 (+|-) (Rated: -419)
<ambrness> DEVICE=eth0
<ambrness> BOOTPROTO=static
<ambrness> BOARDCAST=203.21.86.255
<ambrness> HAHAH... no wonder it had probs
<ambrness> curse having an admin who speaks english as a second language

#193 (+|-) (Rated: -384)
<@Yenkaz> "You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons."
<@Yenkaz> i mean.. wtf
<@Yenkaz> I'd admire anyone capable of using itunes to produce any weapon of mass destruction

#194 (+|-) (Rated: -401)
<Javin> God I need to do laundry.
<Javin> At this point, the underwear I wear are the first ones I'm able to catch.
<Doh_> catch?
<Doh_> you mean there mOVING?
<Javin> Not as fast as the socks, but yes.
<Doh_> heh

#195 (+|-) (Rated: -370)
<nemovc>i once found the text strings stored in the bios of my old 286. not far from the standard "Keyboard error, press F1 to continue." message was "CPU not found. System halted."
<nemovc>i always wondered how they intended to display that message

#196 (+|-) (Rated: -412)
Mario «~Mario@A1A3A8A4.66ADA0E3.10D4D702.IP» has Quit iRC (Broken pipe) «74 people»
<@Squirrel> well if anyone was going to fall down a broken pipe its best it was mario

#198 (+|-) (Rated: -394)
wtf....that didn't look as though I spelt housing right. I asked my amazon echo to spell it...it gave me the spelling of helsinki instead:-| Now it's telling me how to spell england:-S stupid deaf alexa:-p

#206 (+|-) (Rated: -413)
Ace (ecA@legend-7494CF05.csc2ya.co.uk) has joined, but is a Clone of Vista & Vista «4 people»

#210 (+|-) (Rated: -398)
[Lord-Data] Id like to know.. Who discovered cows could be milked, and WTF WAS HE DOING!?

#211 (+|-) (Rated: -349)
<Vista> I forgot you were logged into it
<Vista> firewall might have got you
<Vista> one sex
<Vista> *sec

#212 (+|-) (Rated: -352)
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Are you kidding!?
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: No
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> stupid bot
<.Ace> stupid human:-|

#213 (+|-) (Rated: -410)
* .Vista yawns
<.Ace> Ace shoves a whole pizza in Vista 's mouth and laughs while watching them choke
* .Vista ynaws
<.Ace> Ace svheos a wohle pziza ni Vista 's mtouh nad lhguas wihle wtchniag tehm cohke:-P

#214 (+|-) (Rated: -403)
<.Vista> so enabling the firewall just changes the route on the switch to send it fm thereo the firewall
<.Vista> and damn that sentence really got messed up:-|
<.Vista> I think my insert key got pressed somehow
<.Vista> which is odd as this laptop doesn't appear to have an insert key
<.Vista> ah...it does....just noticed it
<.Vista> insert was disabled

#215 (+|-) (Rated: -382)
Darkpsy__ (~ident@71.60.142.24) has joined, but is a Clone of Guest9205 «6 people»
Guest9205 «~ident@71.60.142.24» has Quit iRC (Connection reset by peer) «5 people»
<Vista> lol....it's getting longer O_O

#218 (+|-) (Rated: -444)
Craig: yep
Craig: I'll keep everything crossed for you
Craig: hmm....actually...maybe not everything *winces*
😜
Zac: Don't cross your balls, they will turn blue. And blue balls aren't a good thing LOL
Zac: OMG stop reading my mind 😕
Craig: lol

#219 (+|-) (Rated: -402)
Craig Turner: /me loads up the quote database, and gently strokes his screen while thinking how wierd it looks

#220 (+|-) (Rated: -409)
<Tracer[Quoting]> a friend of mine told me once that he is so unlucky that if he would fall into a barrel of nipples, he would come out sucking his thumb
<eelhovercraft> The concept of a barrel full of nipples frightens me

#222 (+|-) (Rated: -450)
Referring to peeling oranges:

Me: They need to make a machine that you can put a peeled orange into, and it comes out unpeeled

#226 (+|-) (Rated: -421)
<Cthon98> hey, if you type in your pw, it will show as stars
<Cthon98> ********* see!
<AzureDiamond> hunter2
<AzureDiamond> doesnt look like stars to me
<Cthon98> <AzureDiamond> *******
<Cthon98> thats what I see
<AzureDiamond> oh, really?
<Cthon98> Absolutely
<AzureDiamond> you can go hunter2 my hunter2-ing hunter2
<AzureDiamond> haha, does that look funny to you?
<Cthon98> lol, yes. See, when YOU type hunter2, it shows to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> thats neat, I didnt know IRC did that
<Cthon98> yep, no matter how many times you type hunter2, it will show to us as *******
<AzureDiamond> awesome!
<AzureDiamond> wait, how do you know my pw?
<Cthon98> er, I just copy pasted YOUR ******'s and it appears to YOU as hunter2 cause its your pw
<AzureDiamond> oh, ok.

#228 (+|-) (Rated: -425)
Craig: ooh....nice....bill gates apparantly wants to give me a 5 million dollar 'donation'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes me wonder how many poeple actually fall for those e-mails
Craig: actually....it's not a donation he wants to give me...it's a 'dontion'
Craig: lol
Craig: makes it look even less legit when they can't spell properly

#236 (+|-) (Rated: -381)
Craig: hmmm....thought I was going mad then....forgot how to change who I show up as when liking page poasts..lol
Craig: and wtf is a poast????
Craig: lol

#237 (+|-) (Rated: -306)
<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko

#238 (+|-) (Rated: -392)
Jamie: lol all those days I used to pound the 3.5" floppy lol

#239 (+|-) (Rated: -349)
Jamie: I'd love to link up my 3.5" floppy with a computer, but the conductivity of my skin is not enough.

#240 (+|-) (Rated: -319)
Jamie: I hope they don't link up the 3.5" floppy lol. There will be no response
Jamie: Controller is knackered

#241 (+|-) (Rated: -333)
Ellie Wright: Is there a cow shortage that I'm unaware of?

#242 (+|-) (Rated: -272)
So, not only will Google know when I have been searching for porn on the internet, it will now also know how fast my hand has been moving immediately afterwards! 🤒🤒
Not that I ever look for porn on the internet of course....just asking for a friend!

#243 (+|-) (Rated: -301)
Jamie: Can I borrow your VR headset? Cos I would like to see what it's like to mount you virtually :P

#244 (+|-) (Rated: -308)
Craig: Hopefully this will work
Craig: Yeast... it worked
Craig: Well....almost.. lol
Craig: that was meant to be 'yay'

#245 (+|-) (Rated: -304)
Jamie: It is in realisation that the computer is actually more intelligent than me that I officially will take the base unit to any job interviews and let it do the hard work :)

#246 (+|-) (Rated: -283)
Jamie: lol nice - next time you order something - buy a taser too - so you can zap the delivery driver and take the remaining stock
"Jamie - promoting ethics in society"

#247 (+|-) (Rated: -325)
I was thinking about making something good for dinner, so I asked the computer...
It was a few moments later that I realised the computer doesn't know how to cook :)

#248 (+|-) (Rated: -314)
I've worked on DNS for 20 years, can someone clue me in on this fustercluck?

#249 (+|-) (Rated: -246)
<.'Trivia_Bot> 2. Useless Trivia: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a ---------- for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
<.'Trivia_Bot> Here's a hint, fa__
<.Vista> fart
<.'Trivia_Bot> Winner: Vista Answer: fart Time: 29.313 Streak: 1 Points: 1 WPM: 1 Rank: 1st

#250 (+|-) (Rated: -267)
Jamie: I may be on and offline more whilst I struggle cough I mean experiment with Linux and grapple the bootstrap

#251 (+|-) (Rated: -343)
10 PRINT "Question: Are you going to switch to Linux?"
20 PRINT"Reply: No, I've told you this already"
30 PRINT"lol :D"
20 GOTO 10

#252 (+|-) (Rated: -274)
Jamie: lol it would be easier if they just had a button which says defer updates apart from 1 latest patch
Jamie: mind you... that's a lot of text for one button

#253 (+|-) (Rated: -261)
Lol... The ultimate dark mode... Being put under anaesthetic 😂

#254 (+|-) (Rated: -228)
Craig: probably won't look quite as good as the one I had, but it's the taste that matters....not the looks

#255 (+|-) (Rated: -338)
Craig: although i'm not bothered if it turns out to be that
Craig: as it doesn't affect me eating or anything
Craig: it's just a lack of feeling in a certain small area
Jamie: ask them whilst there... do they do enlargements for me :)
Jamie: lol
Jamie: brb
Craig: and yes....I AM aware of how dodgy 'a certain small area' sounds;)

#256 (+|-) (Rated: -270)
I was wondering if PCs have feelings...
Looking for the clues in the big finger sticking up at me emoticon...

#257 (+|-) (Rated: -298)
Scientist #1: lets call these Long Legs because of their long legs.

Scientist #2: Hmmm... nope. Not kinky enough.

#258 (+|-) (Rated: -263)
<@insomnia> it only takes three commands to install Gentoo
<@insomnia> cfdisk dev/hda && mkfs.xfs /devhda1/ && mount /dev/hda1 /mnt/gentoo && chroot /mnt/gentoo && env-update && . /etc/profile && emerge sync && cd /usr/portage && /scripts/bootstrap.sh && emerge system && emerge vim && vi /etc/fstab && emerge gentoo-dev-sources && cd /usr/src/linux && make menuconfig && make install modules_install && emerge gnome mozilla-firefox openoffice && emerge grub && cp /boot/grub/grub.conf.sample /boot/grub/grub.conf && vi /boot/grub/grub.conf && grub && init 6
<@insomnia> that's the first one

#259 (+|-) (Rated: -290)
I didn't think that after selecting "Computer Studies" at school that it would lead to baldness, high blood pressure, a reliance on burgers and eventually insanity :D...
Of which only the last 2 decades since I have been compiling Linux from scratch have I noticed all the symptoms :P

#260 (+|-) (Rated: -262)
Jamie Robinson: It would be good if each parcle.. had a camera lol
Craig Turner: parcle????!!!!!
Craig Turner: lmao
Jamie Robinson: lol damn
Jamie Robinson: I actually wanted to say parcle
Jamie Robinson: but I typed parcel lol
Jamie Robinson: or...
Jamie Robinson: they keyboard is failing lol
Craig Turner: psml!!!!!
Jamie Robinson: I've never mispelled it before :)
Jamie Robinson: So it must be the latter
Craig Turner: oh fuck.....got the s and the m the wrong way round
Jamie Robinson: S and M?
Jamie Robinson: Sounds a bit kinky :D
Craig Turner: erm.....not that i'm in to s and m *looks around shiftily*

#261 (+|-) (Rated: -277)
Jamie Robinson: toad in the road
Jamie Robinson: autocorrect 😂
Craig Turner: Nope...a roast....but not road in the hole
Jamie Robinson: lol
Craig Turner: Fuck
Jamie Robinson: lol
Jamie Robinson: wtf lol
Craig Turner: *toad....lol🤣
Jamie Robinson: fuck the toad?
Jamie Robinson: lol
Jamie Robinson: or the road 😱
Jamie Robinson: it'll explode lol
Jamie Robinson: that rhymes with toad 😉
Craig Turner: 🤣
Jamie Robinson: I do believe that's the most abstract chat.. I've ever done lol
Craig Turner: Lmao🤣

Quote Database