Quote Database

#243 (+|-) (Rated: -8)
Jamie: Can I borrow your VR headset? Cos I would like to see what it's like to mount you virtually :P

#244 (+|-) (Rated: -10)
Craig: Hopefully this will work
Craig: Yeast... it worked
Craig: Well....almost.. lol
Craig: that was meant to be 'yay'

#241 (+|-) (Rated: -17)
Ellie Wright: Is there a cow shortage that I'm unaware of?

#242 (+|-) (Rated: -17)
So, not only will Google know when I have been searching for porn on the internet, it will now also know how fast my hand has been moving immediately afterwards! šŸ¤’šŸ¤’
Not that I ever look for porn on the internet of course....just asking for a friend!

#240 (+|-) (Rated: -26)
Jamie: I hope they don't link up the 3.5" floppy lol. There will be no response
Jamie: Controller is knackered

#237 (+|-) (Rated: -34)
<Simon>man, i'm farting like a motherfucker over here! you can really smell the decaying hampster flesh...
<Simon>there's a two week backlog of shit held up by that furry fucker
<Nick> OMFG, that is WRONG, you're fucking sick!
<Nick> you put a P in HAMSTER...sicko

#239 (+|-) (Rated: -40)
Jamie: I'd love to link up my 3.5" floppy with a computer, but the conductivity of my skin is not enough.

#234 (+|-) (Rated: -47)
<HeadGuru> Yes keep it shit, or I will shut it for you lol
<HeadGuru> OMFG shut* keep it shut*

#238 (+|-) (Rated: -48)
Jamie: lol all those days I used to pound the 3.5" floppy lol

#232 (+|-) (Rated: -52)
<.HeadGuru> I cant finger anyone, not even myself :O :'(

#235 (+|-) (Rated: -52)
Zac
Well it would be colder outside silly
Craig
yeah...I get that
but a 10 degree difference
Zac
It's a 4' difference not 10
Craig
no it's not
outside temp is 16
inside temp is 27
Zac
20 - 16 = 4
Craig
so actually an 11 degree difference
Zac
I was looking at the time LMAO
Craig
pmsl!!!!

#236 (+|-) (Rated: -52)
Craig: hmmm....thought I was going mad then....forgot how to change who I show up as when liking page poasts..lol
Craig: and wtf is a poast????
Craig: lol

#233 (+|-) (Rated: -56)
<HeadGuru> I have to cook some dick and balls soon. Gonna be yummy!
* Vista tries really hard to be mature:-|
* Vista tries really really hard not to burst out laughing

#231 (+|-) (Rated: -59)
<HeadGuru> And I could not even finger you :O

#48 (+|-) (Rated: -70)
<kittense> that's like kiddy porn or something:?
<HolloW> its porn with a baby in it but i wouldnt classify it as kiddy porn
<kittense> i wonder what more people look at
<kittense> the cooter or the baby
<kittense> the baby is much cuter
<kittense> that is one ugly cooter
<HolloW> what is a cooter?
<kittense> you never had a cooter?
<HolloW> i just dont know what it is
<kittense> snatch
<kittense> you know what snatch is?
<HolloW> no
<kittense> poontang?
<HolloW> a word that may exist in the english dictionary?
<kittense> umm
<kittense> pussy?
<kittense> cunt?
<kittense> twat?
<kittense> any of those ring a bell?
<HolloW> got it

#73 (+|-) (Rated: -70)
(lawngrl): im gonna insert my ipod in my vagina tonight and go to sleep i love it so much
(Fire_on_High): I'm quite sure that'll void your warranty

#165 (+|-) (Rated: -70)
<+Steve0> Googlebot lol silly bot
<.Vista> I remember when I used php-nuke
<.Vista> it got stuck following links on the calender
<+Steve0> LOL!
<.Vista> I think it got to 2056 before I booted it's ip

#77 (+|-) (Rated: -71)
<sano_> argh
<sano_> i just wrote a backup script
<sano_> and then i overwrote it
<sano_> and i dont have a backup of it

#44 (+|-) (Rated: -72)
Icez            ā€¢ does Bandit still come here
SharkTooth      ā€¢ ?
SharkTooth      ā€¢ yes
SharkTooth      ā€ŗ looks at bandit
SharkTooth      ā€ŗ waves and yells IM RIGHT HERE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SharkTooth      ā€¢ Duh
Icez            ā€¢ ohh

#45 (+|-) (Rated: -73)
01:17  from WinServ.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client connecting on port 6667: Vista2 (N95@169.254.237.81) [clients]
01:19  from WinServ.4-IRC.Com - *** Notice -- Client exiting: Vista2 (N95@169.254.237.81) [Quit: Nokia - Connecting People:-p]

*For anyone that doesn't get what's odd here, look at the ip*

#195 (+|-) (Rated: -73)
<nemovc>i once found the text strings stored in the bios of my old 286. not far from the standard "Keyboard error, press F1 to continue." message was "CPU not found. System halted."
<nemovc>i always wondered how they intended to display that message

#199 (+|-) (Rated: -73)
Zaccy Drayson: Don't you fuck with my backend

#209 (+|-) (Rated: -74)
Zac: Not good for me cause you wonā€™t send it to me now Lollipop
Zac: Fuck LOL šŸ˜‚

#193 (+|-) (Rated: -76)
<@Yenkaz> "You also agree that you will not use these products for any purposes prohibited by United States law, including, without limitation, the development, design, manufacture or production of missiles, or nuclear, chemical or biological weapons."
<@Yenkaz> i mean.. wtf
<@Yenkaz> I'd admire anyone capable of using itunes to produce any weapon of mass destruction

#207 (+|-) (Rated: -76)
Zac: You can office off now also

#116 (+|-) (Rated: -77)
<@Angie`> omgg painnnn
<~Availea> Glad we could come to a compromise :D
* ~Availea snuggles Angie` and rubs her back
<@Angie`> i think it may be gas cause everytime it cramps i fart lol

#125 (+|-) (Rated: -77)
<KaiserPanda> spiderman, spiderman, does whatever a spider can
<KaiserPanda> clings to walls, licks his balls
<KaiserPanda> but not at the same time or else he faaaaalls!

#168 (+|-) (Rated: -77)
|+o|FuzzyFox| She has her dongle in a new port

#61 (+|-) (Rated: -78)
MrHahn2265: she is my sister
MrHahn2265: words really cant descibe her
MrHahn2265: although I can attempt to describe her through massive bangings on the keyboard
MrHahn2265: l.kjnfvgfg8ifgudfbpoicxv'lk
MrHahn2265: woops i opened paint

#205 (+|-) (Rated: -78)
Zac: You can trust me! With the quote system šŸ˜‡
Iā€™m a good boy! lmfao
Craig: pfft!!!
yeah right
Zac: Fucking poof yourself lol
Damn it. pfft even
Craig: lmao

#46 (+|-) (Rated: -79)
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
yeah.....latest version....3.2.8.1
hmmmm....my wireless is going screwy
says i'm connected to BTHomeHub-C316(unsecured)
which is the right ssid....but it's not unsecured
[UFP]Darkpsy says:
i'll see if i can connect to it to see if it went unsecured
wait'
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
ummmmm.....you're a little bit too far away
[UFP]Darkpsy says:
thats impossible
Craig - In Trance we Trust says:
lmao

#198 (+|-) (Rated: -79)
wtf....that didn't look as though I spelt housing right. I asked my amazon echo to spell it...it gave me the spelling of helsinki instead:-| Now it's telling me how to spell england:-S stupid deaf alexa:-p

#53 (+|-) (Rated: -80)
<pils> An email from a friend:
<pils> one guy in my office thought the firewall access to the users pc's was
<pils> dependant on the colour of the ethernet cable, so he was hunting for
<pils> the red "high access" cable this morning, to swap it for his yellow
<pils> "normal access" cable.......
<Phil> colour coding cables is one thing
<Phil> that's just insane

#111 (+|-) (Rated: -80)
<+Sierra> Marshy: You could try using storage sites like mediaforage and sendspace
<+Sierra> mediafire*
<+Sierra> I have no idea where forage came from

#122 (+|-) (Rated: -80)
<+Vivcool> How do I use thunderbird as my email?
<+Vivcool> I don't like the x10's web mail
<+Skizzerz> see the link under "Access Webmail" next to the email account that says "Configure Email Client"?
<+Skizzerz> yeah, click that
<+Skizzerz> tells you everything you need to know
<+Vivcool> What do you use?

#197 (+|-) (Rated: -80)
I can Zoe that. But let's get this going again.
Zoe?
lol
see not Zoe DYAC

#37 (+|-) (Rated: -81)
<+Dr_Link> SSL certificate: $30.
<+CoJaBo-Aztec> Dell mainframe server: $1.
<+CoJaBo-Aztec> Discount cupon: -$80,000.
<+Dr_Link> Getting hacked by a POST injection: Priceless.

#49 (+|-) (Rated: -81)
<space> got any good tunes to spare?
<ToRMeNTeD> tons
<ToRMeNTeD> what kind
<space> whatever
<space> im easy
<ToRMeNTeD> thas what Im listening to now
<space> lol shit i got no speakers yet brb
<ToRMeNTeD> askin fer music wif no speakas
<ToRMeNTeD> sprocket what are we gonna do wif you
<PsyHawk> like a blind man asking for magnifying glass
<ToRMeNTeD> classic
<space> heheh lame award
<space> im like that fucker sent me blank tracks

#51 (+|-) (Rated: -81)
<jws> You just *know* you have a virus when you see this:
<jws> (D:) Local Disk
<jws> Total size: 66631337 GB

#65 (+|-) (Rated: -81)
Topic from a Vista help forum:

gohan2091: When I put my PC to sleep, the slightest movement of the mouse (such as when I slide the keyboard stand under the desk) brings my PC out of sleep. I know a bit about software so off I went into the obvious.... the mouse settings (control panel). I unticked the option "Allow this device to wake the computer" and hit OK but it doesn't appear to be working. I can still bring my PC out of sleep by moving the mouse.

mark: Strange but true:

Accepted Microsoft answer to this problem: turn the mouse upside down

#91 (+|-) (Rated: -81)
<Rach> when i get my old puter back i'll send you some songs
<Olly> What happened to it?
<Rach> i broke it
<Olly> On purpose?  
<Rach> i wouldnt say PURPOSE
<Rach> just stupidly
<Olly> Ahh
<Olly> So you do know exatly what's wrong with it?
<Rach> yeah, it's full of water

#107 (+|-) (Rated: -81)
<Joah> texas
<+Alias> lol
<+Availea> Kentucky
<+Availea> Since we're randomly naming states :P
<+Alias> canada
<+V4mpire> canada is a country
<~clarjon1> confusion
<+Alias> I know
<~clarjon1> confusion, emergency, insanity, panic....
<~clarjon1> since we're naming states.

#112 (+|-) (Rated: -81)
<+skatzifromtwogen> Restart my whole computer
<+skatzifromtwogen> and my website still won't load.
<+Johan> are you an administrator?
Johan Ā«61728065@xC-A4EEB02A.ks.ok.cox.netĀ» has Quit iRC (Client exited) Ā«31 peopleĀ»
<+skatzifromtwogen> Yes i am
<+Sierra> skatzifromtwogen: Did you contact your ISP?
<+Sierra> skatzifromtwogen: And he was asking if you were an x10 administrator I think XD
Johan (61728065@xC-A4EEB02A.ks.ok.cox.net) has joined. Ā«32 peopleĀ»
Alice sets mode: +v Johan
<+skatzifromtwogen> No i didn't contact them
nxcorex (53152468@xC-7E964982.dsl.teksavvy.com) has joined. Ā«33 peopleĀ»
Alice sets mode: +v nxcorex
<+nxcorex> hello
<+skatzifromtwogen> I am 14. and have no power in talking to my internet providor.
<+skatzifromtwogen> also
<+nxcorex> can anyone tell me if it's possible to run ssl and magneto
<+skatzifromtwogen> I am the one who made my site
<+skatzifromtwogen> so yet i am the admin of the hosting
<+nxcorex> on premium pack 3 years?
<+skatzifromtwogen> So long story short. Yes i am the Admin/ maker of the site.
<+skatzifromtwogen> So i own the x10hosting login for twogengamerz

#181 (+|-) (Rated: -81)
tachyonizer (~tachyoniz@41.97.94.252) has joined. Ā«78 peopleĀ»
<tachyonizer> !keep tachyonizer
<@Beschbot> tachyonizer: tachyonizer's shell has already been deleted...
<tachyonizer> fuck you
<tachyonizer> goddamnit
<tachyonizer> goddamnit
<tachyonizer> i am budy man can't you wait a fucking day ?????
* tachyonizer was kicked by Beschbot (Bad word detected. (*fuck*) :: [Tue Mar 11 18:19:58 2014] - Banned 0 minutes Ā·58Ā·)

#192 (+|-) (Rated: -81)
<ambrness> DEVICE=eth0
<ambrness> BOOTPROTO=static
<ambrness> BOARDCAST=203.21.86.255
<ambrness> HAHAH... no wonder it had probs
<ambrness> curse having an admin who speaks english as a second language

#212 (+|-) (Rated: -81)
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Are you kidding!?
<.Vista> !8ball are you sure? you're responding a little slowly
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: No
<.Vista> !8ball does the server need a reboot?
<.Ace>  8Ball Response: Hell no!
<.Vista> stupid bot
<.Ace> stupid human:-|

#108 (+|-) (Rated: -82)
Alice Ā«availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.netĀ» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) Ā«48 peopleĀ»
Angie` Ā«~Angie_@AbyssNet-7DCD1663.atw.dyn.suddenlink.netĀ» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) Ā«47 peopleĀ»
Availea Ā«~BinariiAn@Staff.Starfleetirc.netĀ» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) Ā«46 peopleĀ»
Declawed Ā«~Sharpie@Staff.Starfleetirc.netĀ» has Quit iRC (Ping timeout) Ā«45 peopleĀ»
ā€”I-n-v-i-s-i-o-nā€” Netsplit Detected. Ā«Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.NetĀ»
Alias Ā«~Alias@AbyssNet-D7E100B0.cpe.net.cable.rogers.comĀ» has Quit iRC (Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net) Ā«44 peopleĀ»
Edward Ā«availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.netĀ» has Quit iRC (Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net) Ā«43 peopleĀ»
Bella Ā«availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.netĀ» has Quit iRC (Gryffindor.StarFleetIRC.Net Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net) Ā«42 peopleĀ»
<+Gothic_Goddess> oh oh
<+f0rte> o.o
<+Gothic_Goddess> bye bye yall
Availeab (~BinariiAn@D453254D.E802AAAD.D92F8E0C.IP) has joined. Ā«44 peopleĀ»
Availeab (~BinariiAn@D453254D.E802AAAD.D92F8E0C.IP) is now known as Availea
PinkSmurf sets mode: +qo Availea Availea
Alice (availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net) has joined. Ā«45 peopleĀ»
VJTD3 (VJTD3@ppp203.net267.fl.sprint-hsd.net) has joined. Ā«46 peopleĀ»
Angie` (~Angie_@AbyssNet-7DCD1663.atw.dyn.suddenlink.net) has joined. Ā«47 peopleĀ»
Alias (~Alias@AbyssNet-D7E100B0.cpe.net.cable.rogers.com) has joined. Ā«48 peopleĀ»
Edward (availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net) has joined, but is a Clone of Alice  Ā«49 peopleĀ»
Bella (availea@AbyssNet-2206A94F.astronomicsolutions.net) has joined, but is a Clone of Alice & Edward  Ā«50 peopleĀ»
Ravenclaw.StarFleetIRC.Net sets mode: +vvv Alias Edward Bella
Declawed (~Sharpie@AbyssNet-2801DE50.surgehost.net) has joined. Ā«51 peopleĀ»
Red-Dragon sets mode: +vvvvv Alice Angie` BlueEyes Declawed VJTD3
<+Gothic_Goddess> wb yall

#74 (+|-) (Rated: -83)
<Tengu> I can has kitty?
<kjbrasda> i'll mail you one
<kjbrasda> first class
<HyperSquirrel> poke in air holes
<Gibbie> I don't think you should put holes in the kitty

#113 (+|-) (Rated: -83)
Jamie Robinson: Ta for the links luckily it is for someone at work so i dont have to get any viri lol
Craig Turner: lol
Jamie Robinson: Im fed up of viri avast report its own virus definitions update as infected the other day lol

#119 (+|-) (Rated: -83)
<+plat_> "sperm has 37.5MB of DNA information in it. That means a normal ejaculation represents a data transfer of 1587GB in about 3 seconds"