#285 (+|-)
(Rated: -4)
Jamie: worst thing was when I once had to cook fish for another person
Jamie: I don't eat it
Jamie: I looked in the oven
Jamie: and it's lungs were breathing 😱
#284 (+|-)
(Rated: -31)
<r3pwn> Pretty sure something just exploded next door
<r3pwn> but I still have power so I'm okay
<IllegalArgument> Exploding things next door tend to not be good...
<r3pwn> There's no screaming (the neighbors whose house the sound came from have like 6 kids), so I guess it's okay
<IllegalArgument> Either it was insignificant enough not to warrant screaming, or they all perished in the blast
#280 (+|-)
(Rated: -20)
Jamie: I've had to delete the profile folder again 😮
Jamie: I've completely lost my technical skill 😮
Jamie: first - I fuck up the installation then forget how I did it all
Jamie: now I've restored everything and am going round in circles
Jamie: memory like a goldfish
#279 (+|-)
(Rated: -38)
If you ever code something that "feels like a hack but it works," just remember that a CPU is literally a rock that we tricked into thinking.
Not to oversimplify: first you have to flatten the rock and put lightning inside it
#274 (+|-)
(Rated: -129)
Jamie: fuck I just accidentally took dulcolax instead of paracetamol
Jamie: the packets look the same
Jamie: fuck lol
Craig: whatever you do....don't fart😂
#273 (+|-)
(Rated: -118)
Jamie: i wonder how many houses standby time I can get out of Oppo
Jamie: houses? 😨
#270 (+|-)
(Rated: -183)
Jamie: Cashpoint is being fixed by an engineer oiling the rollers
Jamie: I wish he would put the machine back together he's been rubbing a rod for ages
#268 (+|-)
(Rated: -137)
Craig: I took some zapain earlier
Craig: hasn't really made a difference though
Jamie: ah co cosmological
Jamie: wtf
Jamie: stipulated autocorrect
#267 (+|-)
(Rated: -134)
Jamie: but.. it was months after I looked that up by which time I already stopped and I'm not taking the tablets again in case it was the omezeopropofololol
#265 (+|-)
(Rated: -122)
Craig: I tried relinking his ring
*I was talking about a ring doorbell account, but instead sounded a bit dirty*
#264 (+|-)
(Rated: -203)
Craig: there's someone on youtube who buys konkcoffs and reviews them
Craig: wtf????
Craig: *knockoffs
#263 (+|-)
(Rated: -202)
Jamie: Will you marry this Lenovo Laptop 😀
Craig: yep...lol
Jamie: I wonder how it would give the ring - perhaps 3D print it? lol
Jamie: With a printer linked by usb
Jamie:lol
"Will you take all they have - all 16Gb" 😮
Jamie: lol
Craig: dvd drive opens, and it's sitting on the tray😂
Jamie: "To hold and to cherish - to defragment every so often" lol
Jamie: lol
Craig: or.....the tray comes out, and becomes the ring
Jamie: That would be so "sweet" lol
Jamie: Or...
Jamie: the ring would be the weights in the mouse
Jamie: You just have to unlock the bottom
lol
Craig: Mark Zuckerberg is currently thinking 'what the fuck are those 2 going on about?'
#262 (+|-)
(Rated: -203)
Craig: Penises and veg?
Craig: 🤣
Jamie: oil
Jamie: no that was autocorrect lol
#261 (+|-)
(Rated: -222)
Jamie Robinson: toad in the road
Jamie Robinson: autocorrect 😂
Craig Turner: Nope...a roast....but not road in the hole
Jamie Robinson: lol
Craig Turner: Fuck
Jamie Robinson: lol
Jamie Robinson: wtf lol
Craig Turner: *toad....lol🤣
Jamie Robinson: fuck the toad?
Jamie Robinson: lol
Jamie Robinson: or the road 😱
Jamie Robinson: it'll explode lol
Jamie Robinson: that rhymes with toad 😉
Craig Turner: 🤣
Jamie Robinson: I do believe that's the most abstract chat.. I've ever done lol
Craig Turner: Lmao🤣
#260 (+|-)
(Rated: -249)
Jamie Robinson: It would be good if each parcle.. had a camera lol
Craig Turner: parcle????!!!!!
Craig Turner: lmao
Jamie Robinson: lol damn
Jamie Robinson: I actually wanted to say parcle
Jamie Robinson: but I typed parcel lol
Jamie Robinson: or...
Jamie Robinson: they keyboard is failing lol
Craig Turner: psml!!!!!
Jamie Robinson: I've never mispelled it before :)
Jamie Robinson: So it must be the latter
Craig Turner: oh fuck.....got the s and the m the wrong way round
Jamie Robinson: S and M?
Jamie Robinson: Sounds a bit kinky :D
Craig Turner: erm.....not that i'm in to s and m *looks around shiftily*
#259 (+|-)
(Rated: -266)
I didn't think that after selecting "Computer Studies" at school that it would lead to baldness, high blood pressure, a reliance on burgers and eventually insanity :D...
Of which only the last 2 decades since I have been compiling Linux from scratch have I noticed all the symptoms :P
#258 (+|-)
(Rated: -238)
<@insomnia> it only takes three commands to install Gentoo
<@insomnia> cfdisk dev/hda && mkfs.xfs /devhda1/ && mount /dev/hda1 /mnt/gentoo && chroot /mnt/gentoo && env-update && . /etc/profile && emerge sync && cd /usr/portage && /scripts/bootstrap.sh && emerge system && emerge vim && vi /etc/fstab && emerge gentoo-dev-sources && cd /usr/src/linux && make menuconfig && make install modules_install && emerge gnome mozilla-firefox openoffice && emerge grub && cp /boot/grub/grub.conf.sample /boot/grub/grub.conf && vi /boot/grub/grub.conf && grub && init 6
<@insomnia> that's the first one
#257 (+|-)
(Rated: -268)
Scientist #1: lets call these Long Legs because of their long legs.
Scientist #2: Hmmm... nope. Not kinky enough.
#256 (+|-)
(Rated: -247)
I was wondering if PCs have feelings...
Looking for the clues in the big finger sticking up at me emoticon...
#255 (+|-)
(Rated: -311)
Craig: although i'm not bothered if it turns out to be that
Craig: as it doesn't affect me eating or anything
Craig: it's just a lack of feeling in a certain small area
Jamie: ask them whilst there... do they do enlargements for me :)
Jamie: lol
Jamie: brb
Craig: and yes....I AM aware of how dodgy 'a certain small area' sounds;)
#254 (+|-)
(Rated: -212)
Craig: probably won't look quite as good as the one I had, but it's the taste that matters....not the looks
#252 (+|-)
(Rated: -244)
Jamie: lol it would be easier if they just had a button which says defer updates apart from 1 latest patch
Jamie: mind you... that's a lot of text for one button
#251 (+|-)
(Rated: -310)
10 PRINT "Question: Are you going to switch to Linux?"
20 PRINT"Reply: No, I've told you this already"
30 PRINT"lol :D"
20 GOTO 10
#250 (+|-)
(Rated: -233)
Jamie: I may be on and offline more whilst I struggle cough I mean experiment with Linux and grapple the bootstrap
#249 (+|-)
(Rated: -213)
<.'Trivia_Bot> 2. Useless Trivia: Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a ---------- for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
<.'Trivia_Bot> Here's a hint, fa__
<.Vista> fart
<.'Trivia_Bot> Winner: Vista Answer: fart Time: 29.313 Streak: 1 Points: 1 WPM: 1 Rank: 1st
#248 (+|-)
(Rated: -287)
I've worked on DNS for 20 years, can someone clue me in on this fustercluck?
#247 (+|-)
(Rated: -297)
I was thinking about making something good for dinner, so I asked the computer...
It was a few moments later that I realised the computer doesn't know how to cook :)
#246 (+|-)
(Rated: -257)
Jamie: lol nice - next time you order something - buy a taser too - so you can zap the delivery driver and take the remaining stock
"Jamie - promoting ethics in society"
#245 (+|-)
(Rated: -280)
Jamie: It is in realisation that the computer is actually more intelligent than me that I officially will take the base unit to any job interviews and let it do the hard work :)
#244 (+|-)
(Rated: -289)
Craig: Hopefully this will work
Craig: Yeast... it worked
Craig: Well....almost.. lol
Craig: that was meant to be 'yay'
#243 (+|-)
(Rated: -292)
Jamie: Can I borrow your VR headset? Cos I would like to see what it's like to mount you virtually :P
#242 (+|-)
(Rated: -254)
So, not only will Google know when I have been searching for porn on the internet, it will now also know how fast my hand has been moving immediately afterwards! 🤒🤒
Not that I ever look for porn on the internet of course....just asking for a friend!
#240 (+|-)
(Rated: -297)
Jamie: I hope they don't link up the 3.5" floppy lol. There will be no response
Jamie: Controller is knackered